Maddie quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Maddie

[On her smartphone with London] don't worry. your secret is safe with me. [She hangs up her smartphone. and Amy, Jasmine and the other two girls begin whistling to themselves.]

Maddie

I can't believe I'm an understudy. It's insulting. I might as well be a lousy stage hand. (Zack stares at her) No offense.

London

Good news!

Maddie

Me too!

London

Me first: I got a D+ in math!

Maddie

[excited] That's good news!!!!! I am very proud of you

London

Yeah! Thanks to you, I passed. My daddy got me a plasma screen TV!

Maddie

Wow, all I get when I get an A+ is an extra slice of pie.

London

Is that your good news?

Maddie

No, I took your advice and broke up with Lance. I was blunt... I was direct... and if I do say so myself I was pretty darn mean!

London

So I learned something from you and you learned something from me!

Maddie

Yeah! And now you have a plasma TV and... I don't have a boyfriend.

London

So everybody's happy!

Maddie

I can't believe I'm going out with him again!

London

I can't believe I might have to wear plaid!

Maddie

Teach me to be mean!

London

Teach me to be smart!

Help me!

Maddie

I hate beauty pageants.

Carey

I know. I never won one, either.

Maddie

The point is, people award girls for being shallow, plastic robots. What kind of superficial airhead thinks that's cool?

London

Isn't this cool?

Maddie

Oh, that kind.

Maddie

You recycle?

Sure, bottles, cans, everything.

Maddie

Since when?

Since my father bought Oregon and started chopping down trees. You ever heard of Octicorp?

Maddie

The center of all evil?

That's Dad!

Maddie

Uh, I protest against them.

Me too!

Maddie

[excited] I got dragged off by a cop!

I got grounded for two weeks!

So uh.. I guess I should say goodbye. Or, uh... you could invite me into your suite?

Maddie

[dreamy] My sweet what? Oh, my suite! In the hotel where I live because I'm rich.

Zack

First, we get you an imperial suite.

Maddie

Do you know how much they cost?

Cody

Aww, she thought we're gonna pay.

Zack

Aww, that's sweet. No, we don't pay here, baby.

Maddie

I'm not rich. I work at the hotel as a candy counter girl.

I knew she wasn't rich. She's too nice.

Maddie

[crying] Look, I really don't feel like talking.

Carey

Ok. [hugs her] Then I'll talk, and you listen. Honey, you really shouldn't have lied to Jason in the first place.

Maddie

I know, but I just thought he wouldn't like me because we come from two separate worlds. I mean, he comes from champagne and caviar and I come from beer and pretzels!

Carey

I'm sorry, could you please take the next elevator?

Maddie

I'm such a doofus and now Jason will hate me!

Carey

No, you don't know that. And you're not giving yourself very much credit either.

Maddie

I know. I'm such a doofus!

Carey

Stop saying that! Here- [turns to the man in the elevator] May I?

Carey

You shouldn't sell yourself short. And I bet if you give Jason half a chance, he'll tell you the same thing.

Maddie

You think so?

Carey

I know so.

Maddie

(to London) So we get to meet Usher?

London

Sweetie, Usher gets to meet us.

Maddie

I've rearranged the candy counter. Now tell me, what draws your eye?

Zack

You do, sweet thang!

Maddie

Please. Some of this candy is older than you.

Maddie

I just wanted to make a little money so a could buy myself a few nice things, because some of us have to work and don't get sent to Paris as a punishment for breaking into Johnny Ripp's dressing room. Man, it stinks in here!

Cody

Sorry.

Zack

(about Maddie) What is she doing here?!

Maddie

Saving your butt before I kick it.

Zack

Is that a threat or a promise?