Patty quotes from The Simpsons

Charles, I'm leaving you.

Patty

You snooze, you lose!

[astounded] You're leaving me for him!?

Homer

So it would seem, but Cousin It there was born a woman!

Patty

What brought us together is how much we hate you!

Homer

Yeah!? Well I'm gonna vote 'No' on Proposition 72 so you can't adopt! [Patty twists Homer's arm] Kidding! Kidding! I don't vote! The polling station's up a hill and I never make it!

Patty

So, now you're going to get hit on by ever loser in town.

Selma

And this town has losers like Mexico has headless corpses.

Homer

Yeah? Well, good luck assembling all those toys without me!

Patty

We already did it!

Homer

Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

Patty

I'm about to say something I never thought I'd say to you... Something nice.

Homer

Mmhh?!

Patty

I only mock you because I'm jealous of what Marge has on you. I only have Selma, and now I don't even have that.

Homer

Oh, Patty, I waited so long for you to open a window of niceness.

Patty

No, that was it, window shut.

Marge

Eh, what's the penalty for... driving a tractor drunk through a... renaissance fair?

Patty

Can't help you! I might be having a stroke! I have to consult a competent medical professional! [types on a medicine website "Have I had a stroke?"] Hmm... Got that, got that... m-Hmm... Who doesn't have that? [groans] Is anyone here to get an ambulance license?

Comic Book Guy

That'll be mine!

Patty

Here you go! [gives him a license]

Comic Book Guy

I lied! [runs away]

Lisa

Mom, Dad, with Bart away, I can now fulfill a dream I never dared speak aloud. For one fleeting weekend, I want to live as... an only child.

Marge

"Only child"? What about Maggie?

Lisa

Um, I kind of made alternate arrangements for her.

Patty

Time for a Flip This Bathroom marathon.

Selma

Ooh, baby, Mama loves her terra route.

Lisa

[points to the sibling pie chart] As you can see on this pie chart, this is the time you spend on my older and younger siblings. So, if you'll just humor a middle child's most frivolous whimsy, I would like you to spend the entire weekend focusing only on me.

Homer

No.

Marge

Homer! [To Lisa] Of course we will.

Lisa

[hugs her parents] Oh, it's wonderful! Oh, and for the next two days, I would like you to call me Jules. I think an only child would have a name... [flips the page with another pie chart with Jules's name on it] like Jules.

Okay! Our first only-child activity is gonna be playing horsey. Start working on your neighs.