Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn't have points or scores. It doesn't have winners or losers.
Oh, it has losers.
S4 E9Local Ad
I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.
S4 E10Branch Wars
The eyes are the groin of the head.
KKaren
Let me ask you. Did you accomplish what you wanted?
Listen, lady. You can expect these kinds of repercussions as long as you keep trying to poach our people.
KKaren
I'm taking Stanley.
Then we will burn Utica to the ground.
Dwight! [clears his throat] Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, but at least we care enough about our employees that we are willing to fight for them. And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head... We will burn Utica to the ground.
S4 E11Survivor Man
[about the corporate retreat] Michael wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.
Ten years, you'll figure it out.
Well, I don't think I'll be here in ten years.
That's what I said. [Jim looks concerned] That's what she said.
That's what who said?
I never know. I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension. When things sort of get hard.
That's what she said.
Hey! Nice, really good. Bravo, my young ward.
S4 E12The Deposition
I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.
People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.
JSJan's lawyer
How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Six years and two months.
JSJan's lawyer
And you were directly under her the whole time?
That's what she said.
JSJan's lawyer
Excuse me?
[slowly] That's what she said.
S4 E13Dinner Party
I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, uh, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it, babe, or should I tell it?
I don't like that story, babe.
Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.
Stop! Stop it! I mean... I like ice cream, okay? Sue me! Oh no, don't! I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible.
You are so right. You are SO right! Because before I lived here the glass was always covered with smudges and I moved in and I cleaned it and I guess that makes me the devil!
[laughing crazily] You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me.
...You shouldn't say that.
When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! And I bought this condo to fill with children!
I am so sorry that I don't wanna bring kids into this screwed up world.
I am sorry too.
But look if you wanna have kids, then fine! You win! Let's have a f**king kid!
Do you mean it? You wanna have a kid?
I hate my life.
[to the camera] Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game. And it's called, "Let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests." And they're both winning. So I am going to make a run for it.
S4 E14Chair Model
What part of "shorn't" don't you understand?
I did this for the little guy. For Joe Six-pack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his $400 a month apartment, wonders how he's going to pay his mortgage; wonders how he's going to fill his car up with oil; wonders "How am I going to pay my kids' orphanage bills?" That guy shouldn't have to wonder where he's going to park.
S4 E15Night Out
Do you have a question, Kelly?
Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.