Michael and Jan in “Dinner Party”

When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! And I bought this condo to fill with children!

I am so sorry that I don't wanna bring kids into this screwed up world.

I am sorry too.

But look if you wanna have kids, then fine! You win! Let's have a f**king kid!

Do you mean it? You wanna have a kid?

I hate my life.