WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!
S4 E3Dunder Mifflin Infinity
S4 E5Launch Party
I am not a bad person. When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me but I never intended to use them. What did I intend to do with them? Who knows. Maybe keep them as a souvenir. Maybe use them.
It was a pretty disappointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face, to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive. Who I had cared about. But you know, I'm not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home.
I can't do this. I can't do it.
Yes you can. I know you can. I wouldn't say it if I didn't 100% believe it. Who else could do this?
Okay. Okay.
No seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? Because we don't have a lot of time.
Find anything?
I think it's a straight-forward kidnapping.
Stanley, could you look up "accomplices"?
Can't you guys do it?
'Cause we're looking up "jail time".
Do you remember what you said to me on my first day of work, just before you walked me over to my desk?
Yeah: "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your deskmate Dwight."
That's when I knew. You?
You came up to my desk and you said, "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired."
That was the moment that you knew you liked me.
Yep.
Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Nope.
Ryan just so you know, one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer asshole
That`s Michael, Always with a joke
PBPizza Boy
If anyone is listening, i`m being held here against my will, I`m a minor.
Good news.
We get to go home?
Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
[Everyone voices their approval]
Wait. Alfredo's Pizza Café? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Same thing.
[Everyone grumbles in disagreement]
You know what? I don't understand when you all talk at the same time.
Oscar, talk to him.
Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients, and overall taste. Which one did you order from?
Pizza by Alfredo.
[Everyone groans]
Okay, okay, what's better? A medium amount of good pizza? Or all-you-can-eat of pretty good pizza?
EEveryone
Medium amount of good pizza.
[cut to Kevin in interview]
Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.
S4 E7Money
We'll ask Powerpoint.
Michael, this is a presentation tool.
You're a presentation tool!
Yes. Money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise.
As of this morning, we are completely wireless here on Schrute Farms. As soon as I find out where Mose hid all the wires, we'll have that power back on.
My girlfriend and I broke up recently. And I must say, I am relieved. Gives me a chance to sow my wild oats. In the Schrute family, we have a tradition, where when the male has sex with another woman, he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats left on his door step by his parents. You can use these oats to make oatmeal, bread, whatever you want. I don't care, they're your oats.
Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton?
[sobs]
Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam. Yeah, I mean, she was with Roy... and I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. And then weird stuff, like, food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. And it is something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. And that includes you.
I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.
I didn't say it. I declared it.
Daryl Philbin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Office (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.