[reading an amendment while taking possession of Lincoln's lamp] "Any hand-me-down not being properly cared for can be claimed by the next sibling in the Line of Succession." This light is covered in dust. [blows the dust off the lamp, which then covers her brother all over]
[hears Lola screaming, runs into the bathroom and finds her and her twin playing tug-of-war over Rita's old bathrobe; takes the robe out of their hands] What the heck is going on in here?!
Lola is trying to steal Mom's old robe from me!
It can never become yours to begin with! You know French terry is my favorite fabric!
Well, I'm two minutes older than you, so I was next in line!
[sticks a yellow sticky note on her twin's nose] That's a "Use It or Lose It" amendment I found. And since you don't even bathe, it gives me the right to TAKE THAT ROBE!
[takes the note off her nose and throws it on the floor] I don't care about your stupid rules! I'm keeping it!
[Lincoln then hears Luna and Luan fighting in their room]
[as Luan runs out of their room, carrying a leather jacket; angrily] That's my leather jacket, dude! Leni passed it down to me! [chases after her]
LuanYeah, but this amendment says that disrespecting an item is grounds for forfeiture!
[The episode begins at the store that was mentioned in Fool's Paradise, Fanny's Prank Emporium. Luan rides her unicycle outside it.]
Luan
"Ahh! My happy place."
[Luan walks inside the store, but as she does, she steps on a whoppee cushion, and it farts.]
FFanny
"Welcome to Fanny's Prank Emporium!" [She finally appears on screen for the first time. She is on the latter restocking the shelf.] "We take silly seriously!" [She falls backwards off the latter and lands into a box of pranking supplies. She pops out of the box and gasps.] "Luan! My number one customer!"
Luan
[Happily to see Fanny] "Happy Friday, Fanny!" [holds up her cash] "I just cashed my paycheck. Got anything good? I've got the prank itch!"
FFanny
[Approaches, carrying a box] "Oh! I have just the thing for you!" [She reaches into a box, and pulls out an exploding ink pen, much to Luan's shock.] "Exploding ink pen!"
Luan
"Mmm, I already did that on my mom. It went off in Vanzilla so I bonus pranked my whole family!"
[Flashback: The siblings and parents are in Vanzilla covered in ink. Rita is holding an exploding ink pen and a notebook. The kids are horrified, and Lynn Sr. is annoyed. End flashback.]
FFanny
"Hmm, alright then." [pulls out a blue dye chewing gum] "Ah! How about blue dye chewing gum? Uhh?"
Luan
"Did that one too, on Katherine Mulligan while she was reporting a story."
[Mr. Grouse backs up in the driveway. When he isn't looking, The bush moves. Luan is inside a bush, giggles about her fake lottery ticket prank that's gonna work. Mr. Grouse gets out of the car with his groceries. The bush moves closer to his car and Luan swipes the ticket for a fake one.]
Luan
[Giggles as her lottery ticket prank worked] "Wow! He really bought it! I can't wait to see his face when I tell him the truth!"
[Luan starts to walk to Mr. Grouse's house to tell him about that the lottery ticket she gave him was just a fake]
[holding a laundry basket; stopping her] "Stop! Luan, I need your laundry."
Luan
"Okay. Right after I finish this thing."
"No. Right now. I need to do a load of colors before I go to work." [as Luan holds up her finger, about to speak] "Please don't make a pun! Just get your laundry."
Luan
[quickly runs upstairs to her room; off-screen] "Incoming!" [tosses her laundry onto her mother]
[Rita walks off. Luan continues going to Mr. Grouse's house by going out the door, Lincoln comes in and stops her.]
[Lincoln is in the kitchen, looking for something in the fridge and Luan and Mr. Coconuts appear, startling him]
Luan
Oh! Hey, Lincoln! I came in to remind you that my comedy show is starting in the living room! [leaves as her brother smiles nervously]
[to the viewers] I'm all for supporting my family, but Luan's comedy shows can be a lot. Especially if Mr. C decides to roast me again.
[Flashback to the last comedy show]
Well, if it isn't the man with the plan! I assume you planned on keeping that booger in your nose?
[Lincoln covers his nose with a booger sticking out and sinks in embarrassment as his other sisters laugh at him; End of flashback]
[wipes his nose with his finger] Time to shine, Holo-Lincoln.
[fed up] Dad wants me to serenade him for two hours in a major key, because minor keys remind him of his "suffering."
[also fed up] He asked if I could read him the latest David Steele comic, but skip the suspenseful parts because his "heart can't take it."
Luan
[coming down the stairs on her unicycle in her clown costume; also fed up] He asked me for a comedy routine, but not one that would make him LOL, because he's "so weak" he can only handle light chuckling.
Fear not. This Snoozy Time tea is sure to knock Father out.
[The Loud siblings arrive at Dr. Petersen's office and barge in after following their father's trail]
Has anyone seen a half-naked, delirious man with the sniffles and a love of drama?
PDr. Petersen
Oh, if it isn't the Loud kids, my favorite patients! You're the reason I was able to buy a pool and put in a water slide. [clears throat] Anyway, you must be here to see your dad.
PDr. Petersen
Yup. He showed up in his underwear, had a quick chat with a skeleton in my exam room, then fell asleep. [leads them to the exam room and see their father resting on the bed] I haven't seen him this exhausted since you kids all got the chicken pox at the same time.
Wow. I forgot about that.
PDr. Petersen
Well, that was nothing compared to when you all got the stomach flu. [they all leave the exam room] You should've seen him running around with a bucket catching your vomit for 10 days straight! [walks off, shuddering, and the Loud siblings cringe]
We're literally the worst.
Luan
Yeah. After all Dad's done for us our whole lives, we couldn't even take care of him for one day.
[getting an idea] But the day's not over.
Luan
[approaches the garage and sees Lucy and Lisa dancing] Whoa, what's up with you two?
Luna played her number for us, and it really got my gluteus moving to the maximus!
Gasp. Is this what it feels like to be... alive? [dances in a background of a blue sky with a sun and flower with cute faces; snaps herself out of it and shudders, feeling dizzy, and runs off inside] I need to go lie down in my coffin for a while.
If Luna's act is good enough to give Lucy a pulse, our act isn't gonna cut it, toots!
Luan
You're right! We need a new angle.
[Lincoln and his sisters are all eating chicken pot pie for lunch at the dining room table while Luna and Luan sit on opposite sides, glaring darkly at each other]
[sensing some drama between them] So, how's your act going, Luan?
Luan
I don't know, Lola. Why don't you ask Luna how my act is going? [stabs her fork into her pie, crossly, splattering it all over Lincoln's face]
[squirting ketchup on hers; also cross] What's that supposed to mean? [bangs the ketchup, squirting it onto Lucy's head]
Luan
Oh, I think you know. [slams her fists on the table, flinging and splattering her pie on Leni and Lola's faces]
[sighs; to Leni, Lucy and Lola] Ponchos out, people. [they duck under the table and pop back up nervously, all wearing yellow ponchos]
Luan
Hey, Leni, can you pass the chicken pot spy? Oh, sorry. Pie?
Huh! Excuse me. I don't like your drone. Oops, I mean, tone.
I knew there'd be drama! [takes out a bucket of popcorn] Good thing I came prepared.
Luan
Okay, real talk. What the heck happened to us supporting each other?! I mean, spying on me? Seriously?!
[rolls her eyes; fed up] Give me a break, dude. I caught you doing the same exact thing! Admit it. [bangs the table] All you care about is winning!
Luan
[bangs the table, also fed up] Like you're any better!
[confused] Am I supposed to pass the chicken pot pie or not?
You know what? Whatever. From now on, it's every sister for herself! [walks off into the kitchen, having enough]
Luan
Fine! Works for me! [walks off into the living room, also having having enough]
[On the day of the artist grant competition… Luna and Luan have all their stuff packed up in Vanzilla; Luna stuffs her fog machine into the trunk, causing Luan's puppets to fling out of their car seats]
Luan
Hey! Your fog machine just gave my puppets whiplash!
Fine! [takes her fog machine out of the trunk] I'll put it in the passenger seat!
Luan
[gasps] That's my seat! Why don't you just take out this amp?! [takes the amp out and tosses it away]
[gasps] Why don't you take out your pogo-cycle?! [takes out the pogo-cycle and tosses it away as well]
[They glare at each other's faces and growl angrily]
[walking over] And where will Boris sit?
Luan
"Hey, Lori. How's it going with your campers?"
Oh. Literally fantastic. Pretty sure they already love me. [flips her hair, not noticing two wieners landing in it and cluelessly goes to her table; hears what her girls really think of her as she goes to the table]
SSasha
Wow, Lori is obsessed with rules.
JJen
Right? [groans] She's so uncool.
[drops her tray in shock, having to be called that, then crouches down to pick up her food as her campers notice her] What? I am not like that at all. Well, I'll just have to show them how cool I really am.
The Loud House · 632 quotes
