You smell weird, your hair is wrong, and I would not recommend you to my friends! [Shoots an 'what're you gonna do about that?' look. Luan gives her a reassurance smile and nods. Lucy writes something else in her book]
Mean little blonde, you throw stones and sticks. But what would you know? You're only six.
[And just like that, the siblings smile at this]
Luan[Jumps up in the air; proud] Boo-yah!!! That's my girl! Lucy, time to take your show on the road.
Hey, are either of you guys free for a babysitting job tonight? Mrs. McCauley just called and I can't do it, I'm sitting for the Dumscums.
Sorry, dude. I got the Katzes tonight. I'm gonna teach Jamie and Sydney how to do a drum circle.
Luan
I'm sitting for the Santinis. I've got some great comedy props in case little Mary gets a ouchie. [hits herself with a toy mallet and faints]
Thanks, Luan, that makes me feel much better about my ouchie.
"Hey Dad, I've got an idea, why don't you let us take care of the promoting?" [The sisters smile.] "I'm sure we can come up with something."
"Yeah! We can help Daddy!"
Luan
"Of course, I'd be gland to do it!" [Giggles]
[Relieved] "Ah, kids, thank you.
(Luan wakes up)
Luan
(excitedly to her still sleeping dummy) Good morning, Mr. Coconuts!
Wow! You're extra chipper today. What's the occasion, doll?
Luan
(Looks at the calendar next to her bed.) Today is my first official date with Benny, remember?
Oh, wright, correct. Why could you not forget?
(Luan gets her prop box)
Luan
What should I wear? (puts on her glasses) Maybe these gag glasses? Always a classic. (puts on a hat) Or what about this mini top hat? (she looks at herself in a mirror and gasps, she sees a huge pimple on her face) Aaaaaaah!!! (she wraps herself in her covers)
Jeez, the hat doesn't look that bad.
Luan
No, look, I have a huge pimple. Oh, I can't let Benny see me like this. Oh, why didn't you say anything?
I didn't realize, and I can certainly see it now. Yowzers! (Picks up a banana and uses it as a phone) Hello, operator? Give me NASA! I just discovered a new planet!
Luan
Not helping, Mr. C.
(She takes off. Mr. Coconuts shrugs and follows. Luan lies down on Lori's bed)
Okay, take a deep breath. Pimples are literally no big deal. And plus, Benny should like you for who you are, not what you look like.
Luan
(Feeling better) Maybe you're right.
Good golly miss molly! That thing's a monster!
Luan
It is?
Monster? Where? Aw, it's just a zit. But man is it huge? (The siblings gasp and walk in) Can I pop it? Please? (Lori stops her from popping her pimple)
Uh, popping the beast will spread bacteria.
(Lynn Sr. follows the scent to the kitchen. It reveals Luan is making something)
Luan
(With a depression look on her face, holding a sandwich on a plate) Oh, hey Dad.
Is that a Monteo Cristo sandwich, on brioche?
Luan
Awww! I messed it up! It's supposed to be on bread.
(She throws the bread across the kitchen and Lynn Sr. catches it)
No, brioche IS bread! It's French. Hey, what's the occasion? Wait, this isn't a trick sandwich is it?
Luan
(Sighs) No, we've picked electives in school, and I'm locked out with my top two choices. Advanced Punning, and To Hee Hee or Not To Hee Hee, Philosophical Joke in You, and now I'm stuck taking Intro into Cooking. And I can't imagine a more boring class.
(Eating Luan's sandwich) Mmm-hmm, Mmm-hmm, and I can't imagine a more delicious sandwich! Luan, you have some real talent!
Luan
Really? I don't know much about food. Comedy is more a bread and butter! (Giggles) Get it?
Luan
Lock down the house! Call the cops! File a missing persons report! Mr. Coconuts is officially MIA!
Oh, honey relax. Mr. Coconuts is fine! ...Yeah, I put him into storage.
Luan
Huh? Wait! Why would you do that?!
Luan, when I decided to dedicate my life to food, I didn't touch a cowbell for months! Comedy can wait. You need to focus on cooking if you're going to take over the restaurant.
Luan
Dad...
Of course, first, you're gonna have to attend the Culinary Institute of Michigan, but someone with your talent should breeze right through.
Luan
DAD...!!!
After that, it's on to an apprenticeship. Maybe you can go somewhere fun like Paris. Oh! Or Kansas City! I heard they're doing great stuff with ribs down there.
[Luan growls furiously as her face turns red and steam appears flying out of her ears.]
But after that, you can take over --
Luan
I'M NOT TAKING OVER THE RESTAURANT!!!
[She zips away, revealing the steam was coming from the pressure cooker.]
Luan
What are you guys doing in here?
(Mr. Coconuts turns the lights on)
Um, uh... collecting laundry.
(Shines a light on Leni, which it stuns her) Laundry Day was Tuesday! Spill it!
Luan. Guess I'll find someone else to perform with me, to a packed house.
A packed house? You mean people really come to your shows?
Luan
Yep, and this time it would be YOUR show, just like your pageants. You'd be the star!
(Slides back downstairs; excitedly) You'd be the star is my FAVORITE sentence ever! (Jumps into Luan's arms) You got yourself a dummy!
Luan
It's o-FISH-cial! You're a REEL catch! [giggles]
[laughs] Aw, Luan, I'm hooked on you! [laughs again] It's so good to see ya.
[clears throat] Luan, can you please control your dummy? He's creeping out our customers.
RSRenee's mom
Don't make eye contact... Back away slowly... [backs off]
Luan
Oh sorry. He's just thirsty for attention! Get it?
[Sighs] Someone needs to pay for the soda.
[Luan giggles again.]
Luan
Well, I better take Mr. Coconuts home. [Gets the soda off of Mr. Coconuts] We just used our savings on that hilarious soda bit. I miss spending time with you, Benny. Ever since Dairyland closed for the off season, I don't see you very much. [Shows a picture of herself dressed as Heidi Heifer, unmasking herself in front of Benny, causing him to knock over a popcorn cart] Remember how I'd sneak up on you and scare you, and you'd knock over that popcorn cart? [giggles] I miss that! [Moves away from Benny]
[laughs] Classic us. I miss it too.
Luan
[Gasps, gets an idea] Wait! Benny, why don't I work here with you? Problem solved!
I was just thinking that, too! But I don't know if Andre will go for it. He takes fast food very seriously.
[Andre is now in a burger costume as he squirts ketchup on his hands and uses it as warpaint.]
Be the burger, be the burger. Sesame seed bun! [charges out the door]
Luan
You can convince him. He'll listen to you.
But sir, Otis is still injured and could really use a little more help. Plus she does have experience. Her family owns a restaurant. And she promised to leave Mr. Coconuts at home.
Fine, but Luan is your responsibility.
Thanks, boss! You won't regret this!
[Benny laughs nervously and heads back inside. Cut to Luan who sits sadly on the booth]
[Clears his throat and reveals the uniform to Luan] Welcome to the Burpin' Burger family, Luan!
Luan
[Excited gasp]
Luan
Eee!!! [Hugs Benny]
(Closes the employee manual) That's everything. Look, you have your first customer.
(As Luan smiles) Hi! Nice to meat you. I hear there was a new employee at the Burpin' B so I hustled down here to ketchup!
Luan
(giggling) Lettuce ketchup indeed! I hope the new employee isn't BEEFING it! (giggles) Get it?
CCustomer
C'mon, brah. You're gonna order or what?
Luan
Hang on, we're on a roll! You gotta RELISH it!
(She giggles and her father laughs)
The Loud House · 632 quotes
