Lincoln quotes from The Loud House

I don't get it, Clyde. Usually, I'm a good student, but lately it's been all C's and D's, and now an F.

Wow. And a frowny face too.

Well, I'm so honored to be your 5th choice.

Luan

Come on, Lincoln. Please? I really need your help.

I don't know. I'm not really the performing type. I don't want to make a fool of myself on stage.

[sighs] So what's the plan?

You'll go to the front door and sing Christmas carols here. When Grouse comes out to yell at you, I'll hop the fence and grab Big Red here.

Strategic genius.

Merry Christmas, Mr. Grouse.

We all chipped in and got you something.

It's a bus ticket.

Luan

So you can go see your family for Christmas tomorrow.

Rita

And since you can't be with them tonight... [Rita and Lynn Sr. finally reveal their faces] ...we're bringing our family to you.

Lynn Sr.

How bout it, neighbor?

LOUDS! [in a warmer tone] You've made this the best Christmas ever. Thank you. I'd say you all landed permanent spots on Santa's nice list.

Even me?

Even you. [Lola hugs Mr. Grouse's leg]

Once again... [sobs]

Well, what are you waiting for? Everyone inside!

Just another minute, Lucy! Hang on, Lola. [Picks up the other toys and drops the balls] Whoops! [Lily cries] No no no no no! Wait! It's all okay. Shh, shh! [Bitey climbs into his pant leg and makes him trip over the ball. The other girls gather around Clyde and demand that he help with his problems. He takes out his fanny pack] JUST TAKE THE COOKIES! [The girls see the cookies and chase after them as Clyde runs downstairs]

Clyde! What happened?

[runs into Lori] L-L-L-L-Lori? [gets a nosebleed and passes out]

Lori

Whatever. [walks inside]

Clyde! Talk to me, buddy. What happened back there?

I failed at the 3 C's.

What? How is that possible? You're the most caring person I know and you make great cookies.

It's the confidence I'm struggling with. [panicking] What if I give bad crush advice, and my future sibling gets their heart broken? Or what if I can't choreograph a ribbon dance, and they drop out of school and start holding up convenience stores? I'm going to be a terrible big brother!

CLYDE! [shakes Clyde] You're spiraling! You can do this. Just get out there and try again.

I can't, Lincoln! I don't have the confidence you do. And I never will.

It's okay, buddy. How about we just forget the whole training thing and play some video games?

That sounds great.

I'll just go grab us some snacks.

Leni

Ooh! When did we put a mirror in the living room?

Lori

That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!

Leni

What?! No! You take yours back!

That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wear the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care.

It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.

Well let's go help them work it out So we can have our house back. [Lynn stops him with her hockey stick] Oof!

Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol: butt out, and let them resolve it on their own.

Yeah? Well I have a protocol, too! Which is I don't like pooping in a bucket! [enters Lori and Leni's room] Hey guys. Now look, I know you've been having a little problem.

Lori

Lincoln...

But I think I can settle this.

Leni

Lincoln...

Leni, why don't you just return the dress? Lori once said blue makes you look washed out anyway.

Leni

Wait, what?!

Okay, okay. I'm just spitballing here. Lori, why don't you return the dress? Leni says taffeta makes you look like Aunt Ruth. And who wants that? Am I right?

Lori

Excuse me?!

So, what do you say? Ready to hug it out?

Lori

We already hugged it out! We were fine! But now that I know that she thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, we are definitely not fine!

Leni

You insulted my skin tone! Nothing's gonna make that right!

Ugh, nice job, Lincoln! We told you to stay out of it!

Based on rising decibel levels, I'm up in the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to hissing cats. Sisters, to your stations!

What's going on? What happened to the fighting?

Lori

Pfft. We're over that. We made up.

All of you?

Correct. Threat level is back to Field of Daisies.

Lynn Sr.

[offscreen] Oh, thank goodness!

I don't understand. How did you fix everything?

No, Lincoln. You fixed everything.

Me? How?

By leaving.

Luan

We told you, if you just butted out, we'd resolve it on our own.

But the dress?

Leni

I came up with the perfect solution: Lori gets to wear it on the days that end in Y, and I get to wear it the rest of the time.

And once they made up, the rest of us made up.

Heh. Well, I guess I've learned my lesson: Always respect the sister fight protocol.

Glad you're finally getting it.

Oh, I totally do, believe me. Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.

You said what now, sporty?!

Oh, I snore, do I? How can you hear me over all your sleep-farting?!

Lynn Sr.

Phew. Can't wait to use the real toilet.

Lynn Sr.

Aah! Retreat! Retreat! [Runs back into his room]

Wait for me! [rushes to join them as the brawl shakes the whole house]

Turns out I have nothing to worry about. With all my sisters, it's like having the Lincoln Library x10. I'm pretty sure whatever happened in my life, they'll help me remember it.

Lori

How about that time Lincoln tried to climb the shelves to get cookies? [Flashback to Lincoln slipping and giving himself a wedgie]

That one I'd rather forget.

I still don't get why I have to come along.

Lori

Because Ronnie Anne's your girlfriend!

She is not my girlfriend!

Lori

Lincoln, we are literally crossing a bridge. Do you really want to get into an argument WITH ME RIGHT NOW?!

[while being dragged by Lori] We're leaving? But Mrs. Casagrande's baking a cake!

Lori

Lincoln, I literally just lost my boyfriend. Do you really wanna argue with me right now?

Bobby

Babe, where are you going?

Lori

What do you care? Why don't you just go back to your precious bodega? You obviously care about it more than you care about me! [cries]

I'm just gonna go help Mrs. Casagrande with the frosting. [flees]

Lincoln, what's happening out there?

I don't know. But it was too much drama for me.

Wait a minute. They're hugging, and Lori's smiling. She must have finally convinced him! Yes! [hugs Lori] Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew we could do this! I'll go pack up my stuff.

Lori

Uh, actually...

What?

Lori

I know I came here to convince Bobby not to move, but after talking to him, I think he should stay.

After he totally forgot about you?

Lori

But he didn't. He's actually been thinking really hard about how we can make this work. We'll only be apart for a year, and then we can both go to the college here where your Uncle Carlos teaches.

Well, that's great for you guys, but what about me? Lincoln, come on! Help me out here!

I don't know, Ronnie Anne. I think your family's pretty awesome. I mean, who can make a cake like this?

These are for later, Mr. Grouse. First, we need to get you trained so you'll fit into the world of IT.

Ah, you kids and your fancy abbreviations. In my day, we just said "It".

Okay, Mr. Grouse. Here's a laptop. Boot it up.

Will you settle for a penny loafer? [hits the laptop with a shoe]

No, no! Not like that! Like this. [turns it on]

Luan

Okay, now open a window.

Eh...alright. [opens a window in the house]

Luan

[laughs] Good one. But wrong. Like this. [opens a window on the laptop]

Now you need to empty the trash on your computer.

Eh, whatever you say. [empties a wastebasket all over the computer]

Yeah, I walked right into that one.

Luan

And the good news is that is nothing to worry about, we’re not a bad influence on Lily after all.

[putting their arms into the air to celebrate while Lucy is silent and putting her arms in the air] YAY!

[furiously] *BLEEP*!

Lori

Clyde! I was just on my way to see you. There's something I really wanted to tell you. [Clyde does not answer.] First, I wanted to apologize for never appreciating how kind and thoughtful you are. And second, I wanna thank you for making me feel so good about myself all these years. You're a special guy, Clyde, and literally anyone would be lucky to be your crush.

Lori, what happened?! [they take Clyde inside and put him on the couch]

Lori

I don't know! I was just telling Clyde that I'm okay with him liking Leni now, and --

What are you talking about? He doesn't like Leni.

Lori

But I saw them in the kitchen. He got a nosebleed all over her shoes.

Yeah, because he got hit in the nose!

Lori

Well, why was he acting like a robot with her?

He was just showing her what happens when he's around you!

Lori

But I was just over at his house; I heard him say she was beautiful.

Because she was dressed like you!

Lori

What? Why were they doing all this?

Because Leni was helping Clyde learn to act normal around you, just like you wanted!

Lori

So he never stopped having a crush on me? [Lincoln shakes his head no; thinking] Ha! I knew it! [talking] No, you didn't!

Uh, who are you talking to?

Lori

No one.

Wow. Can you believe this? My sisters are pretty cool. Even if I can't see SMOOCH, this is definitely the next best thing!

Luna

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SMOOCH!

What? [SMOOCH's tour bus stops in front of the Loud House] How did you get SMOOCH?

Luna

We've learned to be pretty convincing, thanks to some advice from the master!

I guess we did save Halloween, Clyde. But too bad nobody got any candy.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Let's go get our shovels!