Rosa quotes from The Casagrandes

Bobby

I'll miss you so much, babe.

Oh, I'll miss you even more, Boo Boo Bear.

Bobby

[dials his phone after kissing with Lori] Hi, Abuela. We're just heading back.

[snatches his phone; feigning sadness] Abuela! We missed the whole day of cleaning. Oh, it's so sad!

Cheer up, mijo. I saved your chores for you. Good luck getting out of it this time, muchachos.

[squawks] I'm outta here!

[reaching out] Take me with you!

Are you ready, papa?

[eating a torta, without pants, or enthusiasm] Ya seen one building, ya seen 'em all. Why am I going?

Anyone who donated was invited.

Uh... I don't remember donating.

I did. Now put some pants on and lose the torta. You'll ruin your suit.

I'm not a baby, I know how to eat. [eats the whole torta in his mouth, except for the condiments which end up on him; whining] Rosa, my shirt!

Bobby

[in unison] What?! No way. You're wrong.

[in unison] I know what I'm talking about. [out of unison] I'm telling you, Bobby, word on the street is that the secret theme for Par's party, is prom.

Bobby

No way! It's kigurumi. Animal pajamas are so in. You can party and nap without changing.

Bobby, Carlota, I need one of you to watch the kids tonight.

Bobby

But Abuela, I can't miss Par's party, he's my BFF. He'll kill me.

And I need to be there for my vlog. If Cindy Tran gets the scoop on me again, she'll steal more of my subscribers! [takes out her phone, showing Cindy's vlog]

Hey, it's Cindy Tran with Tran Talk! [sighs] Don't you just love me?

[fiercely] She's my nemesis. [in unison with Bobby] Make him do it!

Bobby

[in unison with Carlota] Make her do it!

Right. We'll figure it out.

I knew you would.

So, who ended up babysitting?

[in hasty unison] Bobby

Bobby

[in hasty unison] Carlota.

Well, whoever it was, seems like you did a good job.

Ronnie Anne

[decided to finally come out of her room, and enters] Hey, guys. What did I miss?

Familia, time for lunch! It's ceviche tostadas day!

Hey, Abuela, is it okay if my friend joins us for lunch?

Of course, Mijia, all are welcome. [gasps in surprise as Alisa comes in]

[surprised] Alisa!

Hola, Casagrandes family! It's so great to see you again. [sniffs] I'm sorry, but is that… tostadas de ceviche?!

You bet, mija! Ven aquí! Let me get you a little serving.

[takes a seat at the end of the table and Rosa walks up with a plate of ceviche tostadas; gasps] Gracias! Ceviche is my favorite. [picks up a tostada and eats it; gasps with amazement] So good!

Gatos, Gatos, Gatos, Gatos!

[bursts into the mercado with a broomstick] Gatos?! Where, where?!

Ronnie Anne

Not real cats, Abuela. [points to the orange team banner] The soccer team!

Oh. Well, before those real gatos get here, I'll be able to feel ready. [leaves the mercado]

I don't know what you are very excited about. Everyone knows the gatos lose every game.

This is not a real game. [rips off his sweater, revealing a gato t-shirt] It's the Crosslake Championship!

[mockingly] Oh. So they're gonna be big losers! I've got my money on anyone who's not The Gatos. [rips off his own shirt, revealing a t-shirt with a "No" sign covering the team logo]

[aghast; comes from behind the counter and bumps Vito] Just wait. Our star player, Picosito, is gonna win this year. After he's hot, ay-yi-yi, he's hot!

Too bad he's been ice cold for years.

I'm never beginning with washing my head here again!

When did you start?

Ernesto

Buenos dias, mis estrellitas. Today, I am talking about the water sign.

Oh, Maria, that's you.

Ernesto

A lifetime of happiness is in sight if…

If…

Ernesto

You're back with your ex by tonight. Es tu destino!

Maria, you're getting back together with Arturo. I knew it.

Ugh, ay, Mama. You know I don't believe in any of that Ernesto stuff.

Yeah, me neither. But it's so weird because the other day he predicted… [flashback to the day he was brushing his teeth, squeezes the toothpaste tube and cash comes out] I'd find treasure in the bathroom. Check it out. It smells like mint.

Money in the bathroom?! [dashes into the bathroom]

Well, Ernesto's prediction for me can't possibly feel true. I shan't be there to talk to Arturo because I don't need to talk to Arturo for today. I won't be there to talk to Arturo because I don't need to talk to Arturo for today. I'm helping Frida with an art project all day, and Arturo is trying to fly off to a medical convention in an hour. [walks away]

Trust me, mis niños, Ernesto's predictions always come true.

Bobby

What if Ernesto is correct?

Ronnie Anne

Mom and Dad are not getting back togetherly. Are they?

Bobby

If they was, it might start to mean a lifetime of happiness for all of us!

Ronnie Anne

I guess it's worth a shot. All we need to do is get them togetherly by tonight and let the magic happen.

[pops up between them] You know, your favorite mom and dad had their own first date at the pier, so maybe if they met there.

Ronnie Anne

Excellent idea, Abuela! I'll just pick Mom up from the gallery. You stop Dad from getting on that plane.

Bobby

Hurry up with the tres leches wedding cake. They just pulled up!

On it!

[enters the apartment with Mama Lupe and Paco] Look, everyone. It's Mama Lupe and Paco, our handsome groom.

Hola.

Bienvenidos.

Hi, Mama Lupe.

[squawks] Primo, ready to clip your wings-- I mean, get married?

Claro que si. I can't wait to marry mi amor, Paulina. [takes out a photo of Paulina, a deformed female pigeon] She's the wind beneath my wings.

Maybe you should keep her beneath your wing. I mean, real catch.

Oh, [hugs Paco tightly] I can't believe mi bebe is finally getting married! [sits on the sofa and claps] Oh, I could almost cry.

[tearfully] Leave that to me!

On to more important matters, decide on a best man yet? [clears throat] Say, "Sergio."

I'm not sure, primo. It's a big responsibility.

Ah, come on, I'm responsible. [almost knocks the lamp off; chuckles] Hey, plus, I'll throw the best bachelor party ever! [hugs his primo, beggingly] Please. Oh, please. Por favor. [whimpers while making sad eyes]

Okay, Sergio, of course you can be my best man.

[does a victory dance] Wahoo! Best man, oh yeah! You heard it! Not Bobby! Not Hector! It's me! I'm the best! In your face.

Now, Sergio, as best man, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You must pose for photos, sign the license, and make a speech.

Mira, the best man must also hold on to las arras. [takes out thirteen gold coins in a sack] These thirteen gold coins have been passed down in our family for generations, and now I am giving them to Paco and Paulina.

Las arras bring the couple good luck and a long marriage.

[takes one of the coins out and bites it, losing a tooth] Wow, real gold. Okay, primo, bachelor party time. Leave everything to me.

[bursts into apartment 2A] Quick! Need help! Las arras fell out of the bag!

[horrified] Sergio! How could you?! Now Paco and Paulina will be doomed!

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, we can fix this. We'll help Sergio find them.

Yeah, and the rest of us can keep Paco distracted in the meantime.

Vamos! Before they're doomed.

Sergio, it's happening. Soon, my love and I will be one. Although I got to admit, I am a little nervous.

Oh, come on. What could go wrong? Bring it in!

My suit! Must have been the pepperoni I ate last night. It made me bloat.

Carlota, can you fix it?

I'll try. Paco, you're supposed to tear up the dance floor, not your suit.

Not a good start.

Finally, I'm free! [looks in shock to see everything in a disaster]

Stanley

Boy, bird weddings are fun!

What's going on?

Bad luck, that's what!

Nonsense. Every wedding has its setback.

This is more than setbacks. It can only be due to one thing: las arras!

Ah. I fixed the strings. [the guitar strings break again] Chihuahua.

Sergio, I thought you said you got all 13 coins.

I did. I'll prove it. [takes out the coins and counts them] 10, 11, 13. Boo-yah!

You forgot 12, genius.

[gasps] That means that one lucky coin is still missing!

Missing?! [growls with rage and tries to go after Sergio while the whole family holds her back, slowing her down] Let me at him! [calms down; sadly] Ay, without the last lucky coin, the marriage will be cursed with bad luck forever.

[gasps] Paulina, my love. We don't need luck. [Paulina sobs in tears and runs away; turns to his primo, crossly] Thanks a lot, Sergio! You ruined my wedding! Paulina! Please, come back! [flies after Paulina for consolation]

[sadly with guilt] I guess Paco was right to doubt me. I'm not best-man material.

That coin has to be somewhere.

Ronnie Anne

We must have missed something.

Yeah, one coin. Keep up.

Hector, what're you doing under the table?

Huh! You're the health inspector who shut down my studio.

Ooh, this is gonna feel good cuz it does wanna feel good! [eats a bucket of popcorn]

Him? He's not a health inspector. He's my favorite husband.

Awkward.

It seems like two of you like to have a lot to talk about. I'm going to reopen my studio cuz I want to reopen my studio.

Another time to bounce, everyone!

Hector Casagrande, explain.

Well, I was tired of hearing you talk about Ivan and his dance class earlier, okay? So, I hope if the world were making them shut it down, that might act like the other end of it.

[sharply with anger] Hector! How selfish could you feel?! I don't want to talk to you for now. [walks to the door, rips it off, and leaves]

[walks in along with Vito] Gee, who could see this coming?

Aww. I need to fix this.

[burps] And I need more popcorn.