[sitting on her knees, wailing in despair] MY MASTERPIECE! [sobs and Par plays mournful music. Mama Lupe site up and Ronnie Anne goes to her.]
[Suddenly Lalo knocks her over and Sergio falls out of her backpack, along with her Spanish flashcards.]
[Squawks] We're busted! [Flees]
MLMama Lupe
Spanish flashcards? [Turns to Ronnie Anne.] You can't SPEAK Spanish?! [To the rest] You don't know how to make enchiladas properly, and that goat is clearly a dog! [The family doesn't object.] This is worse than the time Dacho gave me those fast-food tacos!
DGDelivery Guy
[Arrives] Someone order fast-food tacos?
MLMama Lupe
[Clutches her heart] "¡Mi corazón!" [faints]
[Evening at the Casagrande apartments; The family are making decorations for Paco and Paulina's wedding while Ronnie Anne, Carl, and CJ work on the cake]
Hurry up with the tres leches wedding cake. They just pulled up!
[The kids finish up decorating the cake]
[enters the apartment with Mama Lupe and Paco] Look, everyone. It's Mama Lupe and Paco, our handsome groom.
[squawks] Primo, ready to clip your wings-- I mean, get married?
Claro que si. I can't wait to marry mi amor, Paulina. [takes out a photo of Paulina, a deformed female pigeon] She's the wind beneath my wings.
Maybe you should keep her beneath your wing. I mean, real catch.
MLMama Lupe
Oh, [hugs Paco tightly] I can't believe mi bebe is finally getting married! [sits on the sofa and claps] Oh, I could almost cry.
[tearfully] Leave that to me!
On to more important matters, decide on a best man yet? [clears throat] Say, "Sergio."
I'm not sure, primo. It's a big responsibility.
Ah, come on, I'm responsible. [almost knocks the lamp off; chuckles] Hey, plus, I'll throw the best bachelor party ever! [hugs his primo, beggingly] Please. Oh, please. Por favor. [whimpers while making sad eyes]
Okay, Sergio, of course you can be my best man.
[does a victory dance] Wahoo! Best man, oh yeah! You heard it! Not Bobby! Not Hector! It's me! I'm the best! In your face.
Now, Sergio, as best man, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You must pose for photos, sign the license, and make a speech.
MLMama Lupe
Mira, the best man must also hold on to las arras. [takes out thirteen gold coins in a sack] These thirteen gold coins have been passed down in our family for generations, and now I am giving them to Paco and Paulina.
Las arras bring the couple good luck and a long marriage.
[takes one of the coins out and bites it, losing a tooth] Wow, real gold. Okay, primo, bachelor party time. Leave everything to me.
Finally, I'm free! [looks in shock to see everything in a disaster]
Boy, bird weddings are fun!
MLMama Lupe
Bad luck, that's what!
Nonsense. Every wedding has its setback.
[The chandelier suddenly snaps and falls on the wedding arch]
MLMama Lupe
This is more than setbacks. It can only be due to one thing: las arras!
[Dramatic guitar riff is heard, revealing Hector having to fix his guitar]
Ah. I fixed the strings. [the guitar strings break again] Chihuahua.
Sergio, I thought you said you got all 13 coins.
I did. I'll prove it. [takes out the coins and counts them] 10, 11, 13. Boo-yah!
[gasps] That means that one lucky coin is still missing!
MLMama Lupe
Missing?! [growls with rage and tries to go after Sergio while the whole family holds her back, slowing her down] Let me at him! [calms down; sadly] Ay, without the last lucky coin, the marriage will be cursed with bad luck forever.
[Paulina suddenly shows up]
[gasps] Paulina, my love. We don't need luck. [Paulina sobs in tears and runs away; turns to his primo, crossly] Thanks a lot, Sergio! You ruined my wedding! Paulina! Please, come back! [flies after Paulina for consolation]
[sadly with guilt] I guess Paco was right to doubt me. I'm not best-man material.
That coin has to be somewhere.
We must have missed something.
The Casagrandes · 329 quotes
