[picks up Maria's high school yearbook on the floor] Hey, Mom's high school yearbook.
[opens the book] She was, like a jillion years ago. Woah, check out Mom's hair. It says here she was voted... Most likely to see the world.
But Mom's never gone overseas.
Here she is in the Italian Club.
And the East Asian Culture Club.
And the Young Explorers Club. [gasps] Bobby, when Mom was younger, she wanted to travel. [closes the book on her hermano's hand as he yelps] I wonder why she never did. Maybe Abuela knows.
[As they take off into the kitchen, Lalo sees another photo falling out and laughs at it, while Sergio gasps in shock; The photo shows him as a high school student]
RRosa
Yes, your mother wanted to see the world, but when you beautiful bebés came into her life, she put her travel plans aside. Raising a family takes a lot of work you know.
Mom never travelled because of us. [an idea pops in her head] Hey, Mom has that week of vacation coming up, maybe we can make it up to her by sending her on a trip.
That's a great idea. [leaves and returns with his piggy bank] Where can we send her for… Twelve bucks, a button, and a cat toy?
No. This'll cost a lot of money, but I know a way we can win her a free trip.
Time to hit the hay. [notices an incubated nest on the roof] Bed on the roof? Don't mind if I do. [dives into the nest] So warm. [shakes his feet and falls asleep, not noticing two eggs in there and start hatching; wakes up the next morning, groggily by little chirps] Where's the snooze button? [hits the two baby egrets on the heads and they bite his wing] OW! What in the world?! [realizes] Sorry. Didn't mean to nest crash. Gotta go. [chuckles as he starts to walk away and the two egret chicks suddenly wrap themselves around his legs] Oh, no, you don't. [shakes them off but they return and start copying his moves] Hey, what's the big idea?
[aghast in horror] Oh, no, you got the wrong guy!
BEBaby Egrets
Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.
[backing away to the wall] Nope. Not your mama! Sergio out! [flies through the apartment’s window and closes it behind him] Phew. That was weird.
BEBaby Egrets
Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama.
[squawks in panicked shock seeing they beat him] Leave me alone! [tries to fly away as the baby egrets bounce after him and cling to his leg] ¡Híjole! Get these things off of me! [bumps into the apartment door, flies into the kitchen and bursts out of the windows, as Rosa enters with a bag of groceries] Stop! Back, tiny beasts!
BEBaby Egrets
[jump onto Sergio's head] Mama. Mama.
RRosa
[awed] How darling! Hola, pajaritos.
[The baby egrets whimper at her, feeling scared]
You like 'em? Take 'em. [pulls the egrets off his leg]
RRosa
Sergio, those adorable little bebés think you're their mama.
Good for them. [starts to fly away]
RRosa
[grabs Sergio by the tail] Oh, no, you don't. Do you even know where their mama is? They can't survive on their own. Porbrecitos.
[The baby egrets make sad eyes and whimper]
I am not their mama! Sergio out! [starts to fly away again, but Rosa grabs him again by the tail with her muscular arm] Hey!
RRosa
[threatningly] Sergio Casagrande, you will take care of these sweet pajaritos until they can take care of themselves.
I don't take care of anyone but myself. That's how I like it. I'm free as a bird. Ooh, breakfast crackers. [dives in the grocery bag]
RRosa
[pulls Sergio out of the bag] If you don't take care of them, I don't take care of you. [drops him in the bag]
No snacks? That's just cruel. Fine, let's just get this over with. [One baby egret starts drooling; disgusted] Ew, this one's leaking.
RRosa
It's good to see you finally being responsible, Sergio.
[enters with Sid, both catching their breath] There they are! We's been looking all over for those birds!
You mean my birds. I named them, Sergio Jr. and Sergio Jr-Jr.
Actually, they're African black egret chicks. And their names are Yoon and Kwan.
We left them in the incubator nest last night. But when we came back this morning, they were gone.
My mom put me in charge of them, 'cause their mama wasn't feeling well. Thank you SO much for taking care of them!
Oh. [starting to tear up] They have a mom that isn't me? [sniffles] Thank goodness.
You'll be happy to know that she's all better and waiting for them at the zoo.
[surprised] Sergio, are you crying?
[wiping his eyes] Tears of joy. I'm finally getting rid of these kids.
[Sid tries to pull the baby egrets out of Sergio's hands but Sergio is having a hard time letting them go]
RRosa
A parent never wants to let go. [pulls Carlos out of nowhere, petting his head and kissing him, to his confusion]
RRosa
We're just finishing up another batch of masa for the tamales.
[takes a sample] Riquisimo, you guys are doing a great job. [Starts taking another sample, Rosa smacks his hand]
[being subtly splattered with masa] Except somebody has trouble keeping the masa in the bowl.
[flings a handful at him] Actually, my aim is quite good.
[They both start throwing masa at each other, very childishly]
RRosa
[getting too old for this] It's like they're kids again.
[opens the windows and takes a photo] I love reminiscing! [starts to cry]
RRosa
[separates her adult siblings] This batch of masa is done and so are you two.
Abuela, we were supposed to be leaving by now.
RRosa
I can't go anywhere, there's just too many tamales to make. [surprised] Aye, I never thought I'd say that.
CMCarlos and Maria
I'll stay and help! I said it first! Jinx! You owe me a soda! [start slap fighting]
RRosa
Enough! I'll need both of you to help.
This is the best Christmas ever.
[A knock is heard at the door]
RRosa
I got it! [opens the door, revealing the Louds]
Hola, Mrs. Casagrande. We came to pick up Lori at college, but Vanzilla broke down. Would it be all right if we hung out with you, this Christmas? [he and his family all make big grins on their faces]
RRosa
We're going to need more masa!
EEverybody
[Nose Gose] Dibs not!
[accidentally the last] Dibs not! Chihuahua.
RRosa
Niños, I need help with the chores while I battle the Flores' toilet. Ronalda, check the menudo. Sergio, Carl, wash the dishes. CJ, mi vida, fold the clothes in the dryer.
But Abuela, the season premiere of "Popular Pranks!" is about to start.
RRosa
You can watch your shows later. Chores first. [The kids groan in disappointment] And clean up this mess, too.
[Rosa grabs Sergio with her plunger, giving him a dirty look, looks at her niños as they start to clean up]
Anything I can do to help?
Not unless you can teach Breakfast Bot how to make menudo.
I can probably make that happen.
Mi amor, we're sitting on a gold mine. We can sell your red tacos in the mercado and make a fortune.
[enters the apartment, naked with bath bubbles covering his body] Hey, Abuelo. I heard tacos and money. I'm in.
[off-screen] Carl, get back in the bathtub!
[Carl laughs and starts running around with his madre in pursuit]
RRosa
We don't need a fortune, Hector.
RRosa
[sighs] If it's that important to you, we can try, mi amor.
[peeps out from under the table cover] A-are they gone? [sees his family and Irving all staring crossly at him; hesitantly] I mean, I'm so glad you're all okay. Why didn't you come under the table like I told you to?
IIrving
[points to him, unhappily] You pushed us out of the way to save yourself. [sighs] I thought you were better than that.
[upset with guilt and disbelief] I'm so sorry, Irving. I'm not the deserving young person you think I am. I pretended to be someone I'm not, so you'd give me the go-kart. I even hired those birds to attack you back at the park.
RRosa
[sharped with anger] Carl, I knew you were tricking this nice man out his tiny car.
[offering the keys to Irving] Here, Irving.
I hope you find someone who deserves that go-kart.
IIrving
Actually, keep the keys. [tosses the keys to him]
IIrving
I believe in giving people a second chance. And I have an idea for how you can earn the go-kart.
[Casagrande apartment; Carl, CJ, and Hector sit at the table waiting for Rosa with dinner]
RRosa
Dinnertime! [enters with a pot of boiled asparagus]
[holds out his plate as his wife dips asparagus; looks around, confused] Where is everybody?
RRosa
I told you, hijo, [takes out her phone showing a photo of Frida and Carlos at Burning Flan] Frida and Carlos went to that big art and music festival, Burning Flan, [scrolls down to another photo of Ronnie Anne and Bobby at Arturo's place] and Ronnie Anne and Bobby are at Arturo's for the weekend.
Oh. Dibs on their dinner! [scoops out even more asparagus on his plate and stuffs them in his mouth]
RRosa
Carl, CJ, don't forget your espárragos. [dips asparagus on the boy's plates, much to their disgust]
RRosa
[dissatisfied] Carl, you need your vegetables.
Okay, Abuela, I'll eat 'em. [calling out] Release the chocolate sauce and sprinkles!
[Sergio flies in, wearing a helmet and holding the sprinkles and chocolate sauce, aiming for his target and fires]
RRosa
Release the chancla! [takes off her chancla and deflects the the hit, back at Sergio, immobilizing him, much to the boy's disappointment]
Gimme some! [grabs and wrings Sergio over his mouth]
[squawks] Release the Sergio!
RRosa
See, mijo? You don't need the force of the chancla to behave like a good boy. Goodness is inside you already.
Oh, okay. Here are your chanclas, abuela.
RRosa
Thank you, Carl. I got this.
[dancing] Sancho's having a rager!
RRosa
Another party. At this hour? Ay, I could never live with a pajaro like Sancho.
He can't help it. He's a wild animal. Don't wait up! [pushes a button on his radio, but screams as the radio pushes him through the door, leaving a parrot-shaped mark]
[Sergio is in the kitchen, loading an amount of food on a wheelbarrow, and is startled in alarm to see Hector]
That's a lot of comida, Sergio. You better eat it all, otherwise, you're wasting money. [fiercely] My money!
[chuckles nervously while sweating] Don't worry. Got two stomachs. [squawks in shock to see Sancho appearing in his sight and jumps into the trash can; mutters and mimes at him to get out of there, only for Sancho to wave cheekily at him]
[flaps his wings frantically] Oh, uh, nothing. Look, not a penny wasted. [quickly stuffs a load of food in his mouth, while looking back and forth at Sancho eating food crumbs from under the oven and spaghetti stripes from in the sink; lays on his back with a bloated stomach]
Wow. You can fit so much food in your belly. I'm jealous. [walks out of the kitchen]
[groans] Mi estómago. [Sancho comes out from under the sink doors and hops out of the kitchen] Sancho? Hey! [lets out an enormous belch, shrinking his stomach back to normal size] Get back here! [shoves Sancho back into Ronnie Anne's room] Not cool. You're gonna get me in trouble! [walks to the TV to give it to him] Just sit and watch TV. [turns back and see Sancho has already disappeared; facepalms himself, groaning; whispering while finding him] Sancho? Where are you?! [hears Sancho in the bathroom, finds him playing in the toilet, closes the door; Sancho picks up and brushes his back with the toilet brush; trying to pull him out of the toilet] Sancho, not time for a toilet bath! [Sancho brushes his head with the brush, cooing playfully]
RRosa
[opens the bathroom door, seeing Sergio on the toilet seat, reading a newspaper at the moment] Ay! Perdon, Sergio.
[Sancho is heard splashing and groaning aggressively from beneath, making Sergio sweat and uncomfortable]
RRosa
[flinching and cringing in disgust] Okay, I'll be right outside! [rushes out and closes the bathroom door]
[Sancho pops up directly below Sergio, springing him up]
[annoyed with anger] Sancho! [pulls him out of the toilet, only to slip and fall in it; Sancho flushes the toilet as he struggles to get out and spins down, pushes his way out by losing his feathers on the lower half of his body, making Sancho burst out laughing; walks out of the bathroom, informing Rosa, waiting outside] All yours!
RRosa
[spots Sergio's shaved lower half as he walks away] Ooh!
[The Casagrandes are all cleaning the floors, windows, and furniture around the apartment]
Good morning, Abuela. I got up super early to do my part for our big day of cleaning. I'm visiting Lori at her golf college today. It's a surprise! [squirts mustard on the table and wipes it]
RRosa
She'll be so happy to see you. [annoyed] And I'll be happy when you clean with soap instead of mustard.
Huh? Aw, man. I'll go get the ketchup to get it out.
The Casagrandes · 329 quotes
