Frida quotes from The Casagrandes

[sobs] These dogs were useless! And my show is in one hour! I hate to say it, but I think I really do need Lalo!

[clinks her glass] I'd like to make a toast. Bobby, Lori. I just want to say how much it means to have you here with us. [tears up] I don't know if I can't get through this.

[touched] Oh, Mom.

[clinks his glass] Uh, excuse me if I might. I'm sure it means a lot to you, Rita, but with all respect, it means more to us.

Well, Hector, that seems really unlikely because nothing means more to us, 'kay?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Is that so?

Yeah, that's right.

Forget the toast. I can say it so much better with music! [starts playing his guitar] We love Bobby and Lori more than... [Lynn Sr. elbows Luna and she dashes off] ...Anyone in the world.

[brings in her axe and starts playing, cutting Hector off] FAMILY!

Oopsie.

[viscously] How DARE YOU! [violently attacks Carl]

Control your children! It is not safe to have Thanksgiving in this house!

Well, if you don’t like it, YOU'RE WELCOME TO LEAVE! Not you, Bobby, you can stay.

That's what you want, isn't it? To steal our precious Roberto away from us?! [hugs Bobby tightly]

[hugs Lori as well] Oh, oh, like you haven't been trying to steal Lori from us! Well guess what, BUCKO, it's not gonna happen!

[pleading while intervening] Guys, guys, please stop!

STAY OUT OF THIS!

Why would anybody want to spend Thanksgiving here, gnawing on your "dry-bird?"

[comforting her husband as he sobs] The turgooseon is delicious, the only problem is, you're lumpy gravy!

[enters the dining room] Did someone say gravy? [squirts gravy on Rita as she shrieks]

[bumps Gravybot aside] No. They don't deserve it.

[jumps towards her siblings] Look out below!

[gasps horrifyingly] My painting!

I'm sorry, Boo-Boo Bear, I know you were looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving this year.

Bobby

It's not all bad. [holds up some turkey jerky] I found this half-off turkey jerky.

Jumping jerky! Holy hot dogs! [gets up afterwards]

Bobby

Whoa, how did you guys find us?

Tracking devices. [both look at each other]

You left before trying my twice-baked tart.

[scoffs] They would prefer my flan.

Flan, shman. [chanting] Tart, tart, tart–!

Bobby

Stop! Don't you guys see? This is why we left. We couldn't stand the fighting and competing.

We don't want to choose sides. So maybe from now on, we should just spend Thanksgiving by ourselves.

Well, nobody wants that.

We certainly don't.

Lori, Bobby, I'm sorry we've been acting so childishly.

We're sorry, too. It's just hard to let go of your kids. [to the Casagrandes] You know what? You should get Lori and Bobby for Thanksgiving.

Well, goodness knows we haven't done anything to deserve that. They should spend it with you.

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just rotate every year, huh? Much like the juicy hot dogs I'm selling at a mere 40% mark-up. Holiday discount.

Bobby

Works for us.

I'm glad we figured out future years, but what about right now? I'm starving!

Bobby

Well, we've got hot dogs and sunflower seeds and 20 kinds of artisanal jerky. Maybe we could throw a dinner together here.

I'm game.

Me too.

We could make this place look festive. I think I have some leftover decorations in the car.

I'll help you.

Hurry, hurry! "Adiós, Ana, Adiós" is on!

Whoo! Yes! Telenovela time!

[squawks] Mystery! Drama! Romance!

Don't forget style. Obsessed with Ana's outfits.

Bobby

I'm gonna have to watch it in the mercado. My shift's about to start.

It's okay, mi'jito. We'll shout out the window about the juicy parts.

Bobby

Yes!

[rushes in] Did I miss it? Whoa! [Slips on Lalo's drool and makes Ronnie Anne fall to the floor] Ooh, sorry, mija.

I'm glad you could tear yourself away from your gossip long enough to be here, viejito.

Who was gossiping? I was dealing with Maybelle. And you know what a difficult customer she is.

Are you sure you don't want to join us, mija? The novela is getting really good!

Ronnie Anne

[shakes her head] Mm.

Come on. Just give it a chance. It's a family tradition.

You can sit by me.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, I told you already. I'm not into telenovelas. Call me when the soccer match is on.

Shh! How can you say no to this? [TV shows Ana sitting on a stool sewing a hat with her grandparents] That's our hero, Ana Ronalda. She's an orphan raised by her grandparents.

The bad guys want money, but the family doesn't have any, so they're taking Ana Ronalda.

[hugs her kids together, crying] This is why I make you kids carry a whistle!

Ronnie Anne

You guys, this show is so cheesy. Sorry, but you wouldn’t catch me watching it in a billion years.

What you got there, Ronnie Anne?

Ronnie Anne

You guys have to check out that tamale truck, these are so good!

[horrified] What are you doing?! If Abuela sees you eating that, you’re toast!

Once, she caught Tío Carlos eating a churro from the new bakery. She stopped cooking for him for a month.

[whimpers] I had to survive on frozen waffles!

She gets super jealous when any of us likes someone else’s cooking.

[enters the apartment, excited, along with Bobby, looking upset] OMG, guys, look! Bobby and I got our BAT scores in the mail!

Ooh, what's a BAT test? [gasps] You get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!

No, Carl. BAT stands for "Big Academic Test." It's to get into college, and I crushed it! Fashion design school, here I come!

Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams! But don't leave me BACK! [sobs]

Is something wrong, Bobby?

Bobby

I didn't get a good BAT score.

[gasps] Who wouldn't want to give mi Bobbito a good score? [takes of her shoe and goes to the door] I'll just give those testing people a piece of my mind!

Bobby

[runs up to the door, blocking her way] I don't think that'll help, Abuela. [groans] I really wanted to do well so I could go to business school and open up a whole chain of mercados. I don't know what happened. I aced all my practice tests, but as soon as I sat down, my palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked, [pulls out the van keys from his pocket] I had to walk home!

Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket! [grabs the keys and leaves]

Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety. My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby. There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you.

Bobby

Deal!

[gets his hand covered in sweat] Eh, you weren't kidding about your sweaty palms. [chuckles]

[gasps as she got a text from Alisa] Shut up! Alisa just liked my vlog!

Ronnie Anne

[in unison] What?

Bobby

[in unison] Did you say Alisa?!

Quine? Is that a friend of yours?

No, no, Abuela. She's a famous musician and a judge on that singing show, "The Song." [gasps as she gets more texts from Alisa] It's her again! She's says she's on tour, here in Great Lakes City… [gasps] and she's inviting me to do her makeup and a live interview before the show! [screams in excitement]

We should all buy tickets and go. To support you.

Uh, yeah. I so with you guys could come, but the show's been sold out for months. Bummer.

Ronnie Anne

Whoa! Alisa just sent you 10 free tickets!

Ugh, this is all my fault. I told Blaze to get rid of you guys, but I never wanted this to happen. [sighs] I'm sorry.

No, mija. It's our fault. We were kind of…

[squawks] Cuckoo for Alisa?

True, but that doesn't matter. You guys are way important to me than some celebrity interview.

Ronnie Anne

Okay, I hate to say it, but school without Abuelo was awesome.

[counting a huge wad of cash] I'll say, my torta sales were through the roof.

[fending off the lobsters with her camera] BACK, YOU HARD-SHELLED BEASTS!

[surrounded by lots of boxes] I have no idea where I am.

[sitting on her knees, wailing in despair] MY MASTERPIECE! [sobs and Par plays mournful music. Mama Lupe site up and Ronnie Anne goes to her.]

Ronnie Anne

Are you okay?

Sergio?!

[Squawks] We're busted! [Flees]

Spanish flashcards? [Turns to Ronnie Anne.] You can't SPEAK Spanish?! [To the rest] You don't know how to make enchiladas properly, and that goat is clearly a dog! [The family doesn't object.] This is worse than the time Dacho gave me those fast-food tacos!

[Arrives] Someone order fast-food tacos?

[Clutches her heart] "¡Mi corazón!" [faints]

See? Who needs the bathroom?

Ronnie Anne

Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.

I'm brushing here.

[as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl] My princess toothbrush! How dare you!

Ronnie Anne

On the bright side, we don't have to sleep on the floor. [later, laying on Lucy's bed, sandwiched between her grandparents] On second thought, I'd rather sleep on the floor.

[in a coffin with Carlitos] At least you're not in a coffin! [freaking out in horror]

Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. [closes the door, Frida freaks out again]

[groans] I want to go back home.

I think it's kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!

[shrieks] You're not helping! [closes her coffin]

Stop drooling on me! [takes the comforter from Maria]

Hey!

[as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her] Ugh. Are you kidding me?!

[squawks; scared] Need a snuggle.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, it's been a long day. Let's just try to get some sleep.

Bobby

There's something in the coffin with me! [gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It's too many people!

Mija, it might be hard, but at least we're not in Bad Luck City.

Ronnie Anne

[as Hector falls on her off of Lucy's bed, breaking a coffin] This is worse than bad luck.

Ronnie Anne

The only way we're going to the woods is if Abuela drags us kicking and screaming.

Carlos, do something!

Mama, be reasonable. [His mama gives him a dirty look] Oh, I hear the woods are lovely this time of year.

[squawks] Mama's boy.

Bobby

Ugh! I hate cats!

They're so temperamental.

Couldn't agree more.

Furry bobos.

So greedy with their nine lives.

Bobby

What's going on? Why does everyone look so sad?

Bobby, there's something we have to tell you.

Bobby

[freaked out] Wait, what?! I'm gonna be a cat forever?

Ronnie Anne

It's okay Bobby, we'll figure something out.

Bobby

No, I can't do this to you guys. Farewell, humans! [sets off the store service bell, now thinks he is a cat, and runs away]

Bobby, wait!

[sobs] Oh, NOOOOO!

Mi Bobbito!

Ronnie Anne

Don't worry guys, he's my brother, I'll be able to track him down in no time.