Bobby quotes from The Casagrandes

Bobby

Mom! I was unpacking a crate of salsa verde, and l got a splinter.

Bobby

[dramatically] Ah, the pain! [almost passes out]

Bobby

[sighs agitatedly after Sergio messed up his hair] That bird is really getting on my nerves, lately.

Bobby

All this success is because of me and my great ideas. Oh, and in case it wasn't clear, that dinosaur is you. And dinosaurs are extinct. Bobby, out.

Bobby

(rolls his Eyes) Whatever, Man. Give me those Lyrics. (Takes a Paper sheet, Checks it and throws it away) Got it. (Scrooches Devon aside) Make some Room, bro. (Takes out a Mic) 1, 2, 3, 4.

Bobby

Does my hand look weird? It feels weird. [holds up his incredibly swollen hand, bigger than his head] Mommy, save my hand!

Bobby

So, the gang has cats?

The gang is cats!

[while being dragged by Lori] We're leaving? But Mrs. Casagrande's baking a cake!

[heartbroken] Lincoln, I literally just lost my boyfriend! [angrily] Do you really wanna argue with me right now?!

Bobby

[appearing] Babe, where are you going?

[furious] What do you care?! Why don't you just go back to your precious bodega?! YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE ABOUT IT MORE THAN YOU CARE ME! [starts sobbing]

I'm just gonna go help Mrs. Casagrande with the frosting. [chuckles and rushes back inside the apartment]

Ronnie Anne

Lincoln, what's happening out there?

I don't know. But it was too much drama for me.

Ronnie Anne

Wait a minute. They're hugging, and Lori's smiling. She must have finally convinced him! Yes! [runs over to Lori and hugs her, moments later] Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew we could do this. I'll go pack up my stuff.

Uh, actually…

Ronnie Anne

What?

I know I came here to convince Bobby not to move, but after talking to him, I think he should stay.

Ronnie Anne

Well, that's great for you guys, but what about me?! Lincoln, come on! Help me out here!

I don't know, Ronnie Anne. I think your family's pretty awesome. I mean, who can make a cake like this?

[her city girl fantasy ends when she sees Vanzilla towed away] Hey! That's my van! Come back!

Bobby

Babe, watch out for horse butts!

I'm sorry, Boo-Boo Bear, I know you were looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving this year.

Bobby

It's not all bad. [holds up some turkey jerky] I found this half-off turkey jerky.

Jumping jerky! Holy hot dogs! [gets up afterwards]

Bobby

Whoa, how did you guys find us?

Tracking devices. [both look at each other]

You left before trying my twice-baked tart.

[scoffs] They would prefer my flan.

Flan, shman. [chanting] Tart, tart, tart–!

Bobby

Stop! Don't you guys see? This is why we left. We couldn't stand the fighting and competing.

We don't want to choose sides. So maybe from now on, we should just spend Thanksgiving by ourselves.

Well, nobody wants that.

We certainly don't.

Lori, Bobby, I'm sorry we've been acting so childishly.

We're sorry, too. It's just hard to let go of your kids. [to the Casagrandes] You know what? You should get Lori and Bobby for Thanksgiving.

Well, goodness knows we haven't done anything to deserve that. They should spend it with you.

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just rotate every year, huh? Much like the juicy hot dogs I'm selling at a mere 40% mark-up. Holiday discount.

Bobby

Works for us.

I'm glad we figured out future years, but what about right now? I'm starving!

Bobby

Well, we've got hot dogs and sunflower seeds and 20 kinds of artisanal jerky. Maybe we could throw a dinner together here.

I'm game.

Me too.

We could make this place look festive. I think I have some leftover decorations in the car.

I'll help you.

Hurry, hurry! "Adiós, Ana, Adiós" is on!

Whoo! Yes! Telenovela time!

[squawks] Mystery! Drama! Romance!

Don't forget style. Obsessed with Ana's outfits.

Bobby

I'm gonna have to watch it in the mercado. My shift's about to start.

It's okay, mi'jito. We'll shout out the window about the juicy parts.

Bobby

Yes!

[rushes in] Did I miss it? Whoa! [Slips on Lalo's drool and makes Ronnie Anne fall to the floor] Ooh, sorry, mija.

I'm glad you could tear yourself away from your gossip long enough to be here, viejito.

Who was gossiping? I was dealing with Maybelle. And you know what a difficult customer she is.

Are you sure you don't want to join us, mija? The novela is getting really good!

Ronnie Anne

[shakes her head] Mm.

Come on. Just give it a chance. It's a family tradition.

You can sit by me.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, I told you already. I'm not into telenovelas. Call me when the soccer match is on.

Shh! How can you say no to this? [TV shows Ana sitting on a stool sewing a hat with her grandparents] That's our hero, Ana Ronalda. She's an orphan raised by her grandparents.

Okay, you've gotta tell me what's going on.

Ronnie Anne

This year, all of the shops on our block are competing to see who can create the scariest store. They've somehow convinced Ernesto Estrella to judge it.

Oh, he's that famous astrologist your abuela loves, right?

Ronnie Anne

Yup. That's why she's a little crazed about her horchata. She really wants to impress Ernesto with it.

Have you two been down here hugging this whole time?

Ronnie Anne

Bobby, what did I say about being lovey-dovey on Halloween?

Bobby

Sorry, Ronnie Anne, but this is a super-romantic holiday, and Lori and I wanna do it right. Well, after we finish decorating the mercado. Babe, we're in this awesome competition.

Ronnie Anne

I was just filling Lincoln in. The scariest store gets to make a commercial with Ernesto Estrella.

Bobby

It would be huge for us! And we are so gonna win.

Thanks for coming, Lucy.

I'm flattered the Casagrandes want my help.

Thank you for letting Boris come along, too. I'm so excited for Halloween in the big city.

Lucy! Muchas gracias for helping us!

It's my pleasure, really. Scaring people brings me joy.

Bobby

[hugs Boris] And this must be the legendary Gramps that Lori's been telling us about. Nice to meet you, sir.

Boris is actually a child, but appreciates the sentiment.

Hey, Carlota. You look stressed. What's up?

I'm just really behind on making everyone's costumes for tonight. I'm never gonna finish on time.

Hmm. What if you had help? Leni is awesome with fashion.

Bobby

That's a great idea! Babe, would you mind going back to Royal Woods to get her? We'll still have plenty of time for our romantic Halloween celebration.

Oh, it would really help me out, Lori.

[sighs] Of course. Anything to help you guys win. [chuckles]

[quickly hugs her] Thank you so much for coming!

You can brief me on the way up. What are we looking at?

Silk, cotton, wool, and I was thinking… linen.

[gasps] Linen in October? Now, that's scary.

Bobby

[peeking out] Hi, Babe!

[noticing Lisa, also in tow] Lisa, what are you doing here?

None of our siblings found my musings on All-Hallows-Eve to be interesting, so they offered my 50 bucks to, and I quote, "Take my dull facts elsewhere."

Did someone say dull facts? You're speaking my language! Lisa, would you like to help me reassemble a skeleton while discussing the mythology behind this spooky holiday?

[gasps and squeals] I apologize for that amateurish display of emotion. Be right up!"

Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, I am so ready to start our romantic Halloween celebration. Is the mercado all decorated?

Not yet. We just need to wrangle the pack of angry neighborhood cats, which means we need Lana.

[slumps in dismay] Ugh, seriously?!

It would mean a lot to me, mija.

Ugh. You know I can never say no to you, Mr. C.

[hugs her] I was counting on that.

[sobbing] I can't believe I forgot the straw wig for my scarecrow costume!

Bobby

It's okay, babe. Leni and Carlota can make you a wig out of a mop head.

Bobby, I need to wear the wig my mom wore on her first Halloween date with my dad. It's TRADITION! [sniffs] I have to go back to Royal Woods. I promise I'll be back in time for our Halloween, boo-boo bear.

Bobby

Okay, I'll be waiting my little candy corn.