Vito quotes from The Casagrandes

[alarmed] Whoa! Don't people knock around here?!

[as Sergio tosses out a pizza on his head; blindfolded] Hey, whoa! It's raining pizza! [Big Tony and Little Sal jump on Vito's head, chowing down the pizza, attacking him] Hey, stop you two! Hey, that tickles.

Big Tony and Little Sal are gonna nail the auditions! They were born to be famous.

[panicked squawk] Not your squeaky toy! [Big Tony bites his feathered tail]

Ronnie Anne

Guys, that's my homework!

Big Tony and Little Sal, keep it down! We're guests.

Lesson two, bird bath. 'Cause you two stink. Get in, lather up. [kicks them into the fountain, adds bubble bath, and they play cheerfully] Okay, pío píos, let's hurry it up. Chop chop. [the egret chicks look at each other for a second and spit water at him] Stop it! Who's washing who here?! [the fountain suddenly starts to rumble as some pigeons fly away; knowing what's happening] Uh-oh. Come on, time to go. Vamanos! [The baby egrets chirp cheerfully as they enjoy the wavy water and get blasted upwards and land in a mud puddle, getting covered in mud] Eh, clean enough. [takes off with them and leaves]

Give me back my toppings! [slips on and falls on the mud puddle] Whoa! [sobbing] MY TOPPINGS!!!

[takes a piece of foil] This isn't gold, it's just chocolate wrappers.

And the wrappers are coupons. [reading] "Congratulations you found the golden treasure. Here's 30% off for your dining pleasure. Sincerely, Pancho Villa's Tacos."

[enraged] Abuelo, you just let us out on a wild goose chase for coupons?!

Oh yeah, Pancho Villa's Tacos. Now I remember, Rosa and I had our first date there. Ha. I must have saved that message in a bottle as a souvenir.

Stanley

Next stop, disappointment. Chugga chugga boo-hoo.

How are you going to make it up to us, Hector? The least you could do is buy us all some tacos.

Ah! This is taking forever.

Yeah, customers buying tacos, like, shouldn't have to rake with the produce people.

[whispering to Bobby] She's right.

Bobby

Okay, people, two lines. If you want tacos, move to the right. For mercado items, move to your left.

[stuck in the middle] Ah, no. What if I want both? [looks around and sits down, splitting his pants]

Hey, Carlos, I won two prizes in the claw machine!

Uh-huh. That's great, Vito.

Hey, Bruno, thanks for watching the boys. [to his dogs] Big Tony, Little Sal. I got presents for you. Enjoy your new chew toys!

[horrified] Chew toys?! RUN, QUICK! Before we're dog food!

Hey ya, Hector!

Que grandpa? I'm Bobby and Ronnie Anne's grandpa, not him. That bobo's always showing up to steal the spotlight!

That's the famous Grandpa Danny? I don’t get it. Take away his cash, his looks, and his bike. What do you have left?

Hector! [snickers]

You're just as cool as that guy. Whoa! Is he doing hand-stand push ups?

[disappointed with Nelson] Why did you have to bite the director? Bad Nelson. [leaves]

Ronnie Anne

We're here for the auditions.

Great! You're up after those two.

They did that on purpose. [chuckles]

Next!

Gatos, Gatos, Gatos, Gatos!

[bursts into the mercado with a broomstick] Gatos?! Where, where?!

Ronnie Anne

Not real cats, Abuela. [points to the orange team banner] The soccer team!

Oh. Well, before those real gatos get here, I'll be able to feel ready. [leaves the mercado]

I don't know what you are very excited about. Everyone knows the gatos lose every game.

This is not a real game. [rips off his sweater, revealing a gato t-shirt] It's the Crosslake Championship!

[mockingly] Oh. So they're gonna be big losers! I've got my money on anyone who's not The Gatos. [rips off his own shirt, revealing a t-shirt with a "No" sign covering the team logo]

[aghast; comes from behind the counter and bumps Vito] Just wait. Our star player, Picosito, is gonna win this year. After he's hot, ay-yi-yi, he's hot!

Too bad he's been ice cold for years.

[while Hui warms up his nunchucks] Oh, bunch of tough guys, huh? [starts swinging his linked sausage nunchucks around, but manages to snare himself] Is it over? Did I win?

[while wrestling with Woo over her grocery bag] You ain't gettin' these mangoes! [kicks Woo away]

Hey, Hector! I waxed your floors! Take a look.

[comes, slips on the light yellow substance, and goes crashing through the aisles; mad] You used butter! The expensive kind!

Then what did I put on my toast? [licks the pink substance on his toast, with his tongue all shiny] Ew, wax. Just put it on my tab.

[enraged at Vito, after he drives the van in reverse and crashes through the mercado door] VITO!

Oofa doofa, did you know that thing went backwards?

You broke my mercado!

Oh, gee, I'm really sorry.

Take your dogs and get out!

I'll make this right! I'll work overtime and long weekends and…

No thanks! You've done enough damage! Now, don't bother coming back here until you pay off your tab!

Bobby

Abuelo, I aced my test! Well, except for the decimal points section. I can never figure out where those little things go.

Huh? That explains it. You put the decimal point in the wrong place. Vito, you owe $100, not $10,000. [he, Vito, and his dogs growl furiously at Bobby after what they went through]

Bobby

[chuckles nervously, realizing he's in a lot of trouble] Just remembered I got another test tomorrow. Gotta run! [skedaddles out of the mercado]

[to his dogs] Get him, boys!