Paco quotes from The Casagrandes

Promise not to go too crazy. Remember, I have a wedding tomorrow.

Bobby

Hurry up with the tres leches wedding cake. They just pulled up!

On it!

[enters the apartment with Mama Lupe and Paco] Look, everyone. It's Mama Lupe and Paco, our handsome groom.

Hola.

Bienvenidos.

Hi, Mama Lupe.

[squawks] Primo, ready to clip your wings-- I mean, get married?

Claro que si. I can't wait to marry mi amor, Paulina. [takes out a photo of Paulina, a deformed female pigeon] She's the wind beneath my wings.

Maybe you should keep her beneath your wing. I mean, real catch.

Oh, [hugs Paco tightly] I can't believe mi bebe is finally getting married! [sits on the sofa and claps] Oh, I could almost cry.

[tearfully] Leave that to me!

On to more important matters, decide on a best man yet? [clears throat] Say, "Sergio."

I'm not sure, primo. It's a big responsibility.

Ah, come on, I'm responsible. [almost knocks the lamp off; chuckles] Hey, plus, I'll throw the best bachelor party ever! [hugs his primo, beggingly] Please. Oh, please. Por favor. [whimpers while making sad eyes]

Okay, Sergio, of course you can be my best man.

[does a victory dance] Wahoo! Best man, oh yeah! You heard it! Not Bobby! Not Hector! It's me! I'm the best! In your face.

Now, Sergio, as best man, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You must pose for photos, sign the license, and make a speech.

Mira, the best man must also hold on to las arras. [takes out thirteen gold coins in a sack] These thirteen gold coins have been passed down in our family for generations, and now I am giving them to Paco and Paulina.

Las arras bring the couple good luck and a long marriage.

[takes one of the coins out and bites it, losing a tooth] Wow, real gold. Okay, primo, bachelor party time. Leave everything to me.

Sergio, it's happening. Soon, my love and I will be one. Although I got to admit, I am a little nervous.

Oh, come on. What could go wrong? Bring it in!

My suit! Must have been the pepperoni I ate last night. It made me bloat.

Carlota, can you fix it?

I'll try. Paco, you're supposed to tear up the dance floor, not your suit.

Not a good start.

Finally, I'm free! [looks in shock to see everything in a disaster]

Stanley

Boy, bird weddings are fun!

What's going on?

Bad luck, that's what!

Nonsense. Every wedding has its setback.

This is more than setbacks. It can only be due to one thing: las arras!

Ah. I fixed the strings. [the guitar strings break again] Chihuahua.

Sergio, I thought you said you got all 13 coins.

I did. I'll prove it. [takes out the coins and counts them] 10, 11, 13. Boo-yah!

You forgot 12, genius.

[gasps] That means that one lucky coin is still missing!

Missing?! [growls with rage and tries to go after Sergio while the whole family holds her back, slowing her down] Let me at him! [calms down; sadly] Ay, without the last lucky coin, the marriage will be cursed with bad luck forever.

[gasps] Paulina, my love. We don't need luck. [Paulina sobs in tears and runs away; turns to his primo, crossly] Thanks a lot, Sergio! You ruined my wedding! Paulina! Please, come back! [flies after Paulina for consolation]

[sadly with guilt] I guess Paco was right to doubt me. I'm not best-man material.

That coin has to be somewhere.

Ronnie Anne

We must have missed something.

Yeah, one coin. Keep up.

Sergio, I had my doubts, but you really came through for me, primo. Thank you for being the very best, best man. Maybe one day I can be yours.

[confidently] Not anytime soon.