Carlos quotes from The Casagrandes

Lalo, did you do this?! Bad dog!

Oh, I wish I could sleep all day like Lalo.

Sí, that is one lucky perro.

I'm sorry, Boo-Boo Bear, I know you were looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving this year.

Bobby

It's not all bad. [holds up some turkey jerky] I found this half-off turkey jerky.

Jumping jerky! Holy hot dogs! [gets up afterwards]

Bobby

Whoa, how did you guys find us?

Tracking devices. [both look at each other]

You left before trying my twice-baked tart.

[scoffs] They would prefer my flan.

Flan, shman. [chanting] Tart, tart, tart–!

Bobby

Stop! Don't you guys see? This is why we left. We couldn't stand the fighting and competing.

We don't want to choose sides. So maybe from now on, we should just spend Thanksgiving by ourselves.

Well, nobody wants that.

We certainly don't.

Lori, Bobby, I'm sorry we've been acting so childishly.

We're sorry, too. It's just hard to let go of your kids. [to the Casagrandes] You know what? You should get Lori and Bobby for Thanksgiving.

Well, goodness knows we haven't done anything to deserve that. They should spend it with you.

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just rotate every year, huh? Much like the juicy hot dogs I'm selling at a mere 40% mark-up. Holiday discount.

Bobby

Works for us.

I'm glad we figured out future years, but what about right now? I'm starving!

Bobby

Well, we've got hot dogs and sunflower seeds and 20 kinds of artisanal jerky. Maybe we could throw a dinner together here.

I'm game.

Me too.

We could make this place look festive. I think I have some leftover decorations in the car.

I'll help you.

Hurry, hurry! "Adiós, Ana, Adiós" is on!

Whoo! Yes! Telenovela time!

[squawks] Mystery! Drama! Romance!

Don't forget style. Obsessed with Ana's outfits.

Bobby

I'm gonna have to watch it in the mercado. My shift's about to start.

It's okay, mi'jito. We'll shout out the window about the juicy parts.

Bobby

Yes!

[rushes in] Did I miss it? Whoa! [Slips on Lalo's drool and makes Ronnie Anne fall to the floor] Ooh, sorry, mija.

I'm glad you could tear yourself away from your gossip long enough to be here, viejito.

Who was gossiping? I was dealing with Maybelle. And you know what a difficult customer she is.

Are you sure you don't want to join us, mija? The novela is getting really good!

Ronnie Anne

[shakes her head] Mm.

Come on. Just give it a chance. It's a family tradition.

You can sit by me.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, I told you already. I'm not into telenovelas. Call me when the soccer match is on.

Shh! How can you say no to this? [TV shows Ana sitting on a stool sewing a hat with her grandparents] That's our hero, Ana Ronalda. She's an orphan raised by her grandparents.

[quickly hugs her] Thank you so much for coming!

You can brief me on the way up. What are we looking at?

Silk, cotton, wool, and I was thinking… linen.

[gasps] Linen in October? Now, that's scary.

Bobby

[peeking out] Hi, Babe!

[noticing Lisa, also in tow] Lisa, what are you doing here?

None of our siblings found my musings on All-Hallows-Eve to be interesting, so they offered my 50 bucks to, and I quote, "Take my dull facts elsewhere."

Did someone say dull facts? You're speaking my language! Lisa, would you like to help me reassemble a skeleton while discussing the mythology behind this spooky holiday?

[gasps and squeals] I apologize for that amateurish display of emotion. Be right up!"

Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, I am so ready to start our romantic Halloween celebration. Is the mercado all decorated?

Not yet. We just need to wrangle the pack of angry neighborhood cats, which means we need Lana.

[slumps in dismay] Ugh, seriously?!

It would mean a lot to me, mija.

Ugh. You know I can never say no to you, Mr. C.

[hugs her] I was counting on that.

[in his birdcage; squawks] This is embarrassing! I don't need a babysitter! I'm a big bird!

A big bird who gets into big trouble. I'm sorry, but we can't take you to Carlos' lecture today and have you behave like you did at the last one.

And now, a rare Mesoamerican bowl that dates back to 1519. It's the only one of its kind left in the world.

A little privacy, please?!

[gasps in shock] Sergio, what are you doing?! Shoo! [Sergio flies out of the auditorium, causing the bowl to wobble and splash water and soap into his face] AH! Soap in my eye! [accidentally knocks over the bowl and gasps]

[laughing about the incident before Rosa glares at him] What? It was funny when Dad started crying. [Rosa continues glaring at him] Uh, I mean, shame on you, Sergio!

[opens the door; happily] Rosa, Carl, Sergio! Please, come in!

Gracias, and thank you for watching Sergio tonight.

It's our pleasure.

[sees Lola sitting on the sofa] Lola! My favorite Loud. Is that a new crown? It really brings out…

Cut to the chase, Casagrande.

[groans] My dad's lectures are dullsville, and I can't sit through another if Sergio isn't gonna be there to wreck it.

Hmm. Sounds like a you problem… [Carl offers her some cash] that, I might be able to help with.

[firmly] Okay, Sergio, you'd better be on your best behavior with the Louds. If you pull any of your usual stunts, I'm sending you to bird boot camp. [Sergio gulps and whimpers worriedly; later, back in the van, waves goodbye] Thanks again! We'll pick him up tomorrow morning. [drives off as Rita, holding Sergio in his cage, and Lynn Sr. wave farewell… only to come to a stop and come back, holding out Lola, disguised as Carl] Nice try, Lola. Carl would never call the van seats "tacky." He doesn't even know what that means.

Carl, it didn't work!

[comes out, disguised as Lola] Worth a shot. [as they walk up to each other, he demands her a refund]

Sorry. No refunds or exchanges.

Hey, Sergio. [lets him out of his cage] The other pets are waiting for you out by Charles' doghouse.

[squawks] Sergio has arrived! So, what's the plan? What are we doing for fun today? [the Loud pets take out some playing cards and play a game of Old Maid] Ugh, Old Maid? [squawks] You call that fun? Ugh, no, thank you.

What you got there, Ronnie Anne?

Ronnie Anne

You guys have to check out that tamale truck, these are so good!

[horrified] What are you doing?! If Abuela sees you eating that, you’re toast!

Once, she caught Tío Carlos eating a churro from the new bakery. She stopped cooking for him for a month.

[whimpers] I had to survive on frozen waffles!

She gets super jealous when any of us likes someone else’s cooking.

$70 for a marshmallow blaster?!

Small price to pay. Add to cart.

[enters the apartment, excited, along with Bobby, looking upset] OMG, guys, look! Bobby and I got our BAT scores in the mail!

Ooh, what's a BAT test? [gasps] You get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!

No, Carl. BAT stands for "Big Academic Test." It's to get into college, and I crushed it! Fashion design school, here I come!

Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams! But don't leave me BACK! [sobs]

Is something wrong, Bobby?

Bobby

I didn't get a good BAT score.

[gasps] Who wouldn't want to give mi Bobbito a good score? [takes of her shoe and goes to the door] I'll just give those testing people a piece of my mind!

Bobby

[runs up to the door, blocking her way] I don't think that'll help, Abuela. [groans] I really wanted to do well so I could go to business school and open up a whole chain of mercados. I don't know what happened. I aced all my practice tests, but as soon as I sat down, my palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked, [pulls out the van keys from his pocket] I had to walk home!

Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket! [grabs the keys and leaves]

Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety. My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby. There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you.

Bobby

Deal!

[gets his hand covered in sweat] Eh, you weren't kidding about your sweaty palms. [chuckles]

Hey!

[furiously shaking her shoe in front of Carlos' face] You lost your torta privileges, mister!

[sees her nietos back into their regular outfits; horrified] ¡Familia! Why are you in those clothes?! Go get dressed.

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, what's going on?

What's with the clothes?

And the labels?

Bobby

And the spicy food?

Just do this for me, por favor.

[squawks] She landed!

It's too late! Mama Lupe is here! I have to go pick her up.

Ronnie Anne

I thought you were excited to see your mom.

I am, I just hope she survives the visit.

[out of sync] What, why?

I didn't want to put this on you kids, but if Mama Lupe finds out we're not carrying on our family traditions, she could…

[squawks] Go adiós, forever.

[enters with Frida] Once my cousin, Tacho, gave Mama Lupe fast-food tacos. The shock almost did her in.

See? Who needs the bathroom?

Ronnie Anne

Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.

I'm brushing here.

[as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl] My princess toothbrush! How dare you!

Ronnie Anne

On the bright side, we don't have to sleep on the floor. [later, laying on Lucy's bed, sandwiched between her grandparents] On second thought, I'd rather sleep on the floor.

[in a coffin with Carlitos] At least you're not in a coffin! [freaking out in horror]

Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. [closes the door, Frida freaks out again]

[groans] I want to go back home.

I think it's kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!

[shrieks] You're not helping! [closes her coffin]

Stop drooling on me! [takes the comforter from Maria]

Hey!

[as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her] Ugh. Are you kidding me?!

[squawks; scared] Need a snuggle.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, it's been a long day. Let's just try to get some sleep.

Bobby

There's something in the coffin with me! [gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It's too many people!

Mija, it might be hard, but at least we're not in Bad Luck City.

Ronnie Anne

[as Hector falls on her off of Lucy's bed, breaking a coffin] This is worse than bad luck.

Ronnie Anne

The only way we're going to the woods is if Abuela drags us kicking and screaming.

Carlos, do something!

Mama, be reasonable. [His mama gives him a dirty look] Oh, I hear the woods are lovely this time of year.

[squawks] Mama's boy.

Ronnie Anne

[walks down the hall with her sleeping bag, packed up, humming; bumps into her grandparents, looking cross as they block her way to the door; grunts] Uh, can I just get to the door?

Sergio tells us you're camping in Great Lakes City Cemetery tonight.

Mis bebes? At a cemetery? At night?! Nunca!

Much too scary for kids.

[squawks] Even for me!

Ronnie Anne

Well, that's the point. Legend has it 40 years ago, a group known as the Fearless Four spent the entire night in the cemetery. No one's been brave enough to do it since. Until tonight. [points to Maria on the couch, munching on popcorn, with Carlos sitting next to her, reading a book] And Mom gave me permission!

Well, I'm her mom, and I didn't give her permission to give you permission.

Oh, come on, Mama. You let Carlos and me go when we were kids.

Heh! Maybe you'll make it longer than we did. Maria couldn't last an hour.

[scoffs] Me? You wanted to leave.

Uh, no...I'm pretty sure that was you.

I really don't think so. [pushes Carlos' book of the couch; starts getting in a cat fight with him] You gonna cry, huh? Gonna cry, widdle baby boy?

MOM!

[sighing with exasperation] Aye…

We got you!

¿Que? What's going on here?

Ronnie Anne

We know it was you scaring us, we figured it out last night. [flashback to the Casagrande apartment] Mom, it was so scary. There was a skeleton and a zombie and a spider!

It's okay, mija. [she and her hermano realize something] Wait... Carlos, isn't that what scared us when we were kids?

It is.

Sid

[eating a tamale] It was so scary, I'm not gonna sleep for weeks.

Ronnie Anne

Sid, where'd you get that tamale?

Sid

The spider dropped it.

Rosa, your tamales gave us away!

You weren't complaining when you were stuffing your face.

Ronnie Anne

Anyway, we realized it was you who scared us.

And us. I mean, uh, Maira.

Oh you wish.

Ronnie Anne

So my friends and I teamed up with Mom and Tío Carlos to get you guys back.

We did?

Ronnie Anne

Laird, I thought you knew?

No! No one tells me anything! I've been genuinely terrified all night.