Lori quotes from The Casagrandes

Looks like I have to literally be in disguise for the rest of my life.

I still don't get why I have to come along.

[rioting] BECAUSE RONNIE ANNE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!

She is NOT my girlfriend!

Lincoln, we are literally crossing a bridge! Do you really want to get into an argument with me RIGHT NOW?!? (Lincoln shivers in concern, Lori winced) I'm really sorry, Lincoln.

It's okay. It's just that Ronnie Anne is my friend.

Ronnie Anne

What do you mean you didn't convince him?

He talked about the bodega for 40 minutes until the beef jerky guy showed up and at that point I had literally reached my limit.

Ronnie Anne

[sighs and thinks] We need to do something to get Bobby's attention.

[while being dragged by Lori] We're leaving? But Mrs. Casagrande's baking a cake!

[heartbroken] Lincoln, I literally just lost my boyfriend! [angrily] Do you really wanna argue with me right now?!

Bobby

[appearing] Babe, where are you going?

[furious] What do you care?! Why don't you just go back to your precious bodega?! YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE ABOUT IT MORE THAN YOU CARE ME! [starts sobbing]

I'm just gonna go help Mrs. Casagrande with the frosting. [chuckles and rushes back inside the apartment]

Ronnie Anne

Lincoln, what's happening out there?

I don't know. But it was too much drama for me.

Ronnie Anne

Wait a minute. They're hugging, and Lori's smiling. She must have finally convinced him! Yes! [runs over to Lori and hugs her, moments later] Thank you, thank you, thank you! I knew we could do this. I'll go pack up my stuff.

Uh, actually…

Ronnie Anne

What?

I know I came here to convince Bobby not to move, but after talking to him, I think he should stay.

Ronnie Anne

Well, that's great for you guys, but what about me?! Lincoln, come on! Help me out here!

I don't know, Ronnie Anne. I think your family's pretty awesome. I mean, who can make a cake like this?

[sighs] Okay, Two stops to 45th St.

This is an express train to 250th St.

Wait. What?! Ahh! [the train leaves]

[her city girl fantasy ends when she sees Vanzilla towed away] Hey! That's my van! Come back!

Bobby

Babe, watch out for horse butts!

[sees a snake in her drawer] Why is a snake in my sock drawer?!

She needed a warm spot to lay her eggs.

[clinks her glass] I'd like to make a toast. Bobby, Lori. I just want to say how much it means to have you here with us. [tears up] I don't know if I can't get through this.

[touched] Oh, Mom.

[clinks his glass] Uh, excuse me if I might. I'm sure it means a lot to you, Rita, but with all respect, it means more to us.

Well, Hector, that seems really unlikely because nothing means more to us, 'kay?

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Is that so?

Yeah, that's right.

Forget the toast. I can say it so much better with music! [starts playing his guitar] We love Bobby and Lori more than... [Lynn Sr. elbows Luna and she dashes off] ...Anyone in the world.

[brings in her axe and starts playing, cutting Hector off] FAMILY!

Oopsie.

[viscously] How DARE YOU! [violently attacks Carl]

Control your children! It is not safe to have Thanksgiving in this house!

Well, if you don’t like it, YOU'RE WELCOME TO LEAVE! Not you, Bobby, you can stay.

That's what you want, isn't it? To steal our precious Roberto away from us?! [hugs Bobby tightly]

[hugs Lori as well] Oh, oh, like you haven't been trying to steal Lori from us! Well guess what, BUCKO, it's not gonna happen!

[pleading while intervening] Guys, guys, please stop!

STAY OUT OF THIS!

Why would anybody want to spend Thanksgiving here, gnawing on your "dry-bird?"

[comforting her husband as he sobs] The turgooseon is delicious, the only problem is, you're lumpy gravy!

[enters the dining room] Did someone say gravy? [squirts gravy on Rita as she shrieks]

[bumps Gravybot aside] No. They don't deserve it.

[jumps towards her siblings] Look out below!

[gasps horrifyingly] My painting!

I'm sorry, Boo-Boo Bear, I know you were looking forward to having a real Thanksgiving this year.

Bobby

It's not all bad. [holds up some turkey jerky] I found this half-off turkey jerky.

Jumping jerky! Holy hot dogs! [gets up afterwards]

Bobby

Whoa, how did you guys find us?

Tracking devices. [both look at each other]

You left before trying my twice-baked tart.

[scoffs] They would prefer my flan.

Flan, shman. [chanting] Tart, tart, tart–!

Bobby

Stop! Don't you guys see? This is why we left. We couldn't stand the fighting and competing.

We don't want to choose sides. So maybe from now on, we should just spend Thanksgiving by ourselves.

Well, nobody wants that.

We certainly don't.

Lori, Bobby, I'm sorry we've been acting so childishly.

We're sorry, too. It's just hard to let go of your kids. [to the Casagrandes] You know what? You should get Lori and Bobby for Thanksgiving.

Well, goodness knows we haven't done anything to deserve that. They should spend it with you.

Hey, I got an idea. Why don't you just rotate every year, huh? Much like the juicy hot dogs I'm selling at a mere 40% mark-up. Holiday discount.

Bobby

Works for us.

I'm glad we figured out future years, but what about right now? I'm starving!

Bobby

Well, we've got hot dogs and sunflower seeds and 20 kinds of artisanal jerky. Maybe we could throw a dinner together here.

I'm game.

Me too.

We could make this place look festive. I think I have some leftover decorations in the car.

I'll help you.

Thanks for picking me up, Lori. I'm so excited to trick-or-treat in Great Lakes City. I've never gotten city candy before.

Who cares about candy? Next to Valentine's Day, Halloween is the most romantic holiday of the year.

Ugh. Please tell me you and Bobby won't make this holiday lovey-dovey like you do all the others.

Trust me, even you will literally be impressed when you see our matching costumes. They're the same ones Mom and Dad wore on their first Halloween date.

Well, I just wanna trick-or-treat with Ronnie Anne.

Thanks for coming, Lucy.

I'm flattered the Casagrandes want my help.

Thank you for letting Boris come along, too. I'm so excited for Halloween in the big city.

Lucy! Muchas gracias for helping us!

It's my pleasure, really. Scaring people brings me joy.

Bobby

[hugs Boris] And this must be the legendary Gramps that Lori's been telling us about. Nice to meet you, sir.

Boris is actually a child, but appreciates the sentiment.

Hey, Carlota. You look stressed. What's up?

I'm just really behind on making everyone's costumes for tonight. I'm never gonna finish on time.

Hmm. What if you had help? Leni is awesome with fashion.

Bobby

That's a great idea! Babe, would you mind going back to Royal Woods to get her? We'll still have plenty of time for our romantic Halloween celebration.

Oh, it would really help me out, Lori.

[sighs] Of course. Anything to help you guys win. [chuckles]

[quickly hugs her] Thank you so much for coming!

You can brief me on the way up. What are we looking at?

Silk, cotton, wool, and I was thinking… linen.

[gasps] Linen in October? Now, that's scary.

Bobby

[peeking out] Hi, Babe!

[noticing Lisa, also in tow] Lisa, what are you doing here?

None of our siblings found my musings on All-Hallows-Eve to be interesting, so they offered my 50 bucks to, and I quote, "Take my dull facts elsewhere."

Did someone say dull facts? You're speaking my language! Lisa, would you like to help me reassemble a skeleton while discussing the mythology behind this spooky holiday?

[gasps and squeals] I apologize for that amateurish display of emotion. Be right up!"

Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, I am so ready to start our romantic Halloween celebration. Is the mercado all decorated?

Not yet. We just need to wrangle the pack of angry neighborhood cats, which means we need Lana.

[slumps in dismay] Ugh, seriously?!

It would mean a lot to me, mija.

Ugh. You know I can never say no to you, Mr. C.

[hugs her] I was counting on that.

[sobbing] I can't believe I forgot the straw wig for my scarecrow costume!

Bobby

It's okay, babe. Leni and Carlota can make you a wig out of a mop head.

Bobby, I need to wear the wig my mom wore on her first Halloween date with my dad. It's TRADITION! [sniffs] I have to go back to Royal Woods. I promise I'll be back in time for our Halloween, boo-boo bear.

Bobby

Okay, I'll be waiting my little candy corn.

[answers her phone as it rings] Hey, Lincoln.

Hi, Lori. I need to ask you a--

How do I look? Do I look okay?

You look…the same.

Okay. But do I look like someone you'd want in your life forever? I'm meeting Bobby's dad today and I'm really nervous, and it doesn't help it that my car's in the shop, the rain is ruining my hair, and I'm late!

Wait, you haven't met Arturo yet? But we all spent Christmas at the Casagrande's together.

We should have met them but… [Flashback to the ending events of "A Very Casagrandes Christmas"] As soon as we got there, I had to go to the bathroom. And he left before I got out. [quicky makes her way to the bathroom]

Arturo

Feliz Navidad, Louds! Be right back. Rosa is sending me out for more masa. Wish me luck! [leaves as Lori exits the bathroom, relieved]

Then, we ended up leaving before he got back. But today, there's no masa standing in our way! I'm finally meeting him. And I need it to be perfect, Lincoln.

Bobby

[as Lori enters his apartment] Hey, babe!

I am so sorry for being late. [hugs him] You wouldn't believe what happened to me. [checks out the apartment; amazed] Wow! Your place looks great! Where's your dad?

Bobby

Relax, babe. He's also running late.

Oh, perfect. I'll go freshen up.

Bobby

[off-screen] Hey, Dad, you made it!

Ah! It's him. He's here. [opens the door to see Arturo…only to realize in horror he's the same guy she pushed into the puddle earlier]

Arturo

Great to see you, mijo!

[gasps in horror and closes the door] That's Arturo?!

Arturo

You won't believe what happened to me! I was attacked by the rudest blonde girl!

I shoved Bobby's dad into a puddle!

Bobby

[knocking on the bathroom door from outside] Babe, are you almost done? My dad's here!