You know… I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada… designed specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems… and replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
I can’t sleep on your couch. I sleep in a bed. And, given it’s dimensions I have no intention of living out E.M. Snickering’s beloved children’s book, The Tall Man From Cornwall.
[after Leonard refuses to check a message from Stuart, assuming it's about Penny] You have to check your messages, Leonard! The leaving of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy!
[Leonard, Raj and Howard are in the Cheesecake Factory freezer along with Sheldon, forced by the latter to perform exercises that mimic the movement of their tasks when they will be at the North Pole, but after less than a minute they have enough]
Sheldon
Gentlemen, use your imagination. Innovate. Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the ice planet of Hoth? No. He cut open a tauntaun and used its internal body heat to warm him up.
We came to apologize again and bring you home. So why don't you pack up your stuff, and we'll head back?
Sheldon
No, this is my home now. Thanks to you, my career is over, and I will spend the rest of my life here in Texas trying to teach evolution to creationists.
CMrs. Cooper
You watch your mouth, Shelly. Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not, by nature, at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
[checking an encyclopedia] Right here. See it? The common field cricket, a.k.a. Gryllus assimilis, which is Latin for "Suck it. You lose."
Sheldon
Hang on. [Finds another page] Voila. The Snowy Tree Cricket, a.k.a. Oecanthus fultoni, which is Latin for "I'll suck nothing." Of course I'm joking because the Latin for that is Nihil exsorbibo.
Penny, while I subscribe to the "Many Worlds" theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
[After Sheldon offers him a job] Please don't take this the wrong way, but I would rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple, and then die a slow agonizing death from viral infection, than work with you.
The Big Bang Theory · 597 quotes
Sheldon
