Zack quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Zack

Wow, is that the laser? It's bitchin'.

Sheldon

[sarcastically] Yes. In 1917 when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be "bitchin'".

Zack

Well, mission accomplished.

Zack

You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it'll just come back to life.

Sheldon

Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Zack

No. I'm almost sure that it was the Discovery Channel. It was a great show; they also said dolphins might be smarter than people.

Leonard

They might be smarter than some people. [Sheldon and Raj laugh; Penny is disgusted]

Zack

[oblivious] Well, maybe we can do an experiment to find out.

Sheldon

That's easy enough. We'd need a large tank of water, a hoop to jump through, and a bucket of whatever bite-size treats you find tasty.

Zack

[knocking at Penny's door] Babe, open up.

Penny

[inside her apartment] I'm not talking to you.

Zack

Then who are you talking to? Babe?

Zack

I'm not sure about this, I heard splitting affects the children.

Penny

Zack, we don't have any children!

Zack

Are you sure? Cause you didn't even know we were married until this morning.

Howard

You can put it in a satellite or a rocket and it'll run forever.

Zack

Cool. Could it be used for missiles and war stuff?

Howard

Yee-ah. But we didn't create it for weapons.

Leonard

And I doubt that the military would be interested in our little guidance system.

Zack

Is it better than the one they use now?

[together] "Way more." "A lotǃ"

Zack

Huh. You sure you guys are smart?

Zack

Penny?

Penny

Oh, Zack, hey!

Zack

What are the odds of running into you here?

Penny

Well, it's a bar, so pretty good.