Now, Jimmy, I want you to behave yourself at the Wheezers' this weekend.
Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine. I've been looking forward to this for weeks.
It'll be just like having a brother who looks nothing like me and has a different last name.
[slightly annoyed] Man, you guys are so lucky! I have to stay home and loofah my grandma's cankles.
I can't believe you're camping out in the desert. [snorts] I get slightly phlegmy just thinking about it.
HughThat's what Burning Duck is all about, Wheezer, my man. We're going to let it all hang out, groove to a natural scene, might even toast some marshmallows.
Honey, put your pants on. You can groove when we get to the desert. See you soon, sweetie.
Hugh
Keep it real, Jimbo. Go with the flow.
Well, Jimmy, let's get you settled in.
Bye, guys. Have fun while I'm cankling.
[After Jimmy wins the kite-flying competition]
Hugh
Way to go, son! You made your ancestors proud.
Yes, well done, Jimmy. Well done indeed. Listen, why don't you and your "people" pop over to the compound for a celebratory Flurp and ice cream banquet?
I think I'd rather gargle liquid Nitrogen!
Hugh
Jimbo, that was rude. Now your ancestors are ashamed again.
Wow, this place is awesome!
: It's nothing, really. Sorry about the heliport, we're having it redone.
Wow, Neutron, this sure beats the heck out of your dinky little clubhouse.
It's not "dinky," it's ergonomic!
Oh, no, no, no, Cindy, I'm sure that Jimmy's clubhouse is state-of-the-art-- primitive art, that is. [Everyone laughs as Jimmy fumes furiously] Thank you so much.
Hugh
He got you there, Jimbo.
[Jimmy growls in annoyed fury]
Humans of Earth… Your planet is being connected to the Galactic Cable Network, with over nine billion channels of service.
Hugh
[gasps] Free cable?! From space?!
Enjoy watching your fellow creatures play for their lives on this addition of "Intergalactic Showdown!"
What did he mean, "play for their lives?"
Hugh
I don't know. But nine billion channels! Look at all these great shows! "Laser Soccer from Regulon." Who Wants To Marry A Yolkian?" "Studs!"
Hugh, go back! I think I saw the kids!
Hugh
It was just some stupid game show.
Hugh! [switches back to the channel; horrified when she sees her son and his friends on the screen] Jimmy! My sweet baby! What is he doing there?!
Hugh
Playing for cash and valuable prizes, I assume.
I'm calling the other parents. Stay on that channel!
FFlippy
Thanks for making me look like Pinocchio after a bar fight.
Hugh
All right, all right, all right. So maybe you don't look perfect, but the important thing is nothing will ever hurt you again. [a group of Twonkies run by and attack Hugh, then falls off along with Flippy]
FFlippy
Hey, Braveheart, hand me my leg, will you? The other one.
I demand to know how this happened!
Hugh
Well, Judy was tinkering with Jimmy's stuff. I'd ask her.
[offended] Oh, really?! Well, Mr. Let's-Push-All-the-Buttons…
Hugh
Now, honey, name calling won't solve this mess you got us in. Besides, we may be here for a while. Look, some people seem to be adapting.
School is in session. Today's lesson is how to not get eaten by a giant fire ant. [squawks]
Miss Fowl, a raptor ate my homework.
MMan
So, what do you got, Sam?
Rock burgers, rock dogs and rock lobster with a side of rocks.
MMan
I'll just have soup.
One hot water! Hold the rocks!
Well, I guess we could live here. I could make curtains and paint the walls with some berry juice.
Hugh
Now, that's the spirit, Sugar. Maybe it will distract you from thinking about our missing Jimbo.
Hugh
Oopsy. There, Sugarbooger. Remember, we're in the Cretaceous Era. We've got millions of years to come up with a plan to save him.
Hugh, are you aware that most of the things you say make no sense?
[Jimmy and his parents show up in the backyard of Uncle Newt and Aunt Kari's house to celebrate Aunt Amanda's birthday with the other Neutrons]
[carrying her birthday present] Happy Birthday, Great Aunt Amanda! You're looking more beautiful and less wrinkly every year.
No thanks to you, young man, your gadgets and gewgaws have taken ten years off my life!
But, Aunt Amanda, how can you say that? Jimmy's gadgets have saved the town dozens of times.
KAunt Kari
Sure. After he brought down a giant meteor to destroy us all.
NUncle Newt
Or those evil rotting aliens.
CACousin Annabelle
OR PANTS! HORRIBLE WALKING PANTS!
CGCousin Gomer
Which cousin are you again?
Hugh
Now, now, now. Newt, Kari, Cousin Gomer, Cousin Annabelle… [Baby Eddie babbles] and little Eddie, let's not fight. We've gathered together because we love our dear Aunt Amanda and not because her fabulous wealth controls our very destiny.
Yeah, can't we all just get along and be a family?
NO! Because of you, the Neutron name isn't respectable anymore. Why can't you be nice like your two young friends?
James Isaac Neutron! What were you thinking?
Nothing! I mean, it must have been sunspots!
You're a menace! That's what you are, young man! [the other adult Neutrons agree]
Hugh
Jimbo, get inside the house and stay there before Aunt Amanda writes us all out of the will!
[sharply] No buts, mister! March!
[Jimmy sadly obeys]
And take that horrible (robotic) dog with you! [Goddard growls and follows Jimmy inside the house]
[Later, inside the house…]
Hey, Jimmy, are you okay?
Cheer up, Jimmy. We brought you some of Aunt Kari's world-famous, migraine-inducing desserts.
Guys, we have a situation. There's no reason those presents should have exploded. Someone bombarded the spatula with delta waves. Only a genius could come up with a plan like that. And the delta waves came from the backyard. Do you realize what that means?
Uh, Jimmy, do you mind if we just keep eating?
It means that there's another genius in my family besides me. An evil genius.
That's horrible! Hey, Sheen, are you gonna finish that death-by gelato?
Goddard, isolate the Neutron genius gene. Now, compare the gene against DNA profiles of all adult family members. Hmm. The two most likely suspects would be… Cousin Gomer or Cousin Annabelle.
Okay, so what you're saying is that one of them must only be acting dumb.
We gotta find out which one before they make another attempt on my family's lives!
Right. To the buffet! What? I'm still hungry.
[sneaks past the family and places the battery in the birthday candle] Zappa du ba-ba, zappa du ba-ba, Zap, Zap, Zappity bo-ba!
Hugh
All right, it's time for Aunt Amanda's birthday cake, everyone. Come on! [the family heads to the cake; Hugh places the candle holder on top of the cake]
NFNeutron Family
[singing] Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday! [suddenly Baby Eddie zaps the battery in the cake, much to the family's horror]
[races outside the house riding on Goddard in his Flycyle mode] GET DOWN, EVERYONE! [the adult Neutrons duck for cover as Jimmy removes the bomb and throws it into the sky, where Goddard blows it up with lasers before making a landing, while Jimmy goes face-to-face with Baby Eddie] Too bad you didn't know about Goddard's backup battery. It's all over, Eddie! Oh, you're going down, baby. [he and Baby Eddie have a brawl and the adult Neutrons shriek, then Jimmy launches Eddie who hits a picnic table, sending party hats and presents flying everywhere and catapulting the birthday cake, which lands on Aunt Amanda's head]
Hugh
All right, all right, all right, break it up now. Jimbo, we told you to stay in the house!
This is the child you raised?! A vicious, rotten baby mauler?!
It's not what you think, Aunt Amanda! Eddie's an evil genius! He was trying to blow everyone up so he could get your fortune!
Hugh
He takes after her side of the family! [points at Judy]
Hugh
He may be adopted. It looks nothing like me.
[A high-pitched whirring sound is heard]
KAunt Kari
Wait. There's that horrible noise again!
I know, Aunt Kari. I reset Eddie's rattle during our struggle. It's programmed to overload.
[The sound is shown coming from Baby Eddie's rattle]
Oh, poopy! [throws his rattle into the air and it explodes] You broke my rattle! You dweeby, no-good, pointy-headed, weasel-faced freak! [The adult Neutrons are shocked as he accidentally reveals his true colors while Jimmy grins smugly] Uh, I mean… [in baby voice] Goo?
That baby's a bad seed! [to Jimmy] It's Jimmy who's the good nephew!
[The adult Neutrons cheer for Jimmy and forgive him as Sheen, Carl, and Cousin Gomer exit the house]
KAunt Kari
I'm so sorry little Eddie tried to destroy us all.
If I were you Aunt Kari, I'd keep him on a baby leash.
Oh, no, not the leash! I'll get you for this, Cousin Jimmy, you hear me?! This ain't finished, not by a long shot! Hey, where's my juicy cup? Where is the cup that I can spill without spilling?
Dad, our family is very weird.
Hugh
It sure is, son. It sure is.
This is a nightmare. How am I going to clean this house if I'm six inches tall?
Hugh
I know, these are dark times, Sugarbooger. But look on the bright side. We finally got a jumbo-sized TV!
[Goddard flies into the living room]
[to Jimmy; sharply] James Issac Neutron, are you responsible for this?
You know, Mom, we could waste precious time assigning blame.
[watching Betty being hypnotized by Grandma Taters' show while standing outside her house; narrating] The show was hypnotizing people and turning them into mindless zombies! (Luckily,) It didn't affect me because I was only watching the reflection. [bursts the door open and enters, trying to get Betty's attention] Betty, snap out of it! You've been hypnotized! Stop watching the TV!
But I must watch, and you must watch, too.
[runs away, screaming as he makes it back to his house] Mom, Dad, we've gotta call someone! There's a TV show that's turning everyone into… [enters the living room, only to see his parents have been hypnotized too]
JHJudy & Hugh
Hello, Jimmy, we're happy to see you.
Come sit here and we'll be happy together.
[dashes out of the house] NO!
Hugh
Nothing would make me happier.
[Jimmy runs downtown]
CSCorky Shimatzu
Yes, you must watch it. It's fabulous.
[The happy zombies strap Jimmy to a restraint chair]
Mom, Dad, you can't do this to me!
Oh, we're happy to do it.
Hugh
Positively ecstatic.
But you're not supposed to be happy all the time! You have to be sad sometimes!
Hugh
Happily, that's no longer true.
But don't you see? Grandma Taters' show has stolen your emotions and caused you to lose your humanity! Soon, the whole world will be pack of soulless, mindless zombies!
Wondering if I care…still wondering… NOPE!
EJEvil Jimmy
While the dork's away, the clones will play, eh, pooch?
[Goddard whimpers and nods yes]
You're in big trouble, clone! Step away from that duplicator!
EJEvil Jimmy
Sorry, no can do, bro. This goodie-two-shoes town of yours ain't big enough for the both of us.
Wait, you don't know how dangerous that thing is!
EJEvil Jimmy
Oh, I think I do. [starts up his rocket and flies away] Hasta la vista, big-head!
Don't worry, Goddard. He forgot about my rocket. [jumps in his rocket but as he starts it up, he notices that Evil Jimmy clogged up the ignition with a watermelon] I really hate that clone.
[Later… Jimmy is scrubbing the watermelon off in his rocket's ignition]
Hugh
Hi, Jim-Jam, gettin' ready to visit that new planet in the sky?
New planet? What new planet? [Hugh points to the planet up in the sky; gasps]
Hugh
Sure is pretty. In a creepy, steaming kind of way.
Goddard, deploy telescope. [Goddard activates his telescope and analyzes the planet with the screen revealing the planet to be an evil cloned Earth; horrified] Oh, no-- he's cloned another Earth! [End of Act I; Beginning Act II] My evil clone must've used the Flux Field to clone a duplicate Earth.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
