Hey, I don't want to drink blood anymore.
Huh. I've lost all desire to consume human flesh.
HughHey, I can speak in complete sentences. Now, where's my scary little Sugarbooger?
[holding a plate of banana balls and prune puffs] Right here, you monster. Who's up for banana balls and prune puffs?
[Everyone expresses in disgust]
We never got to go trick-or-treating.
And we left behind all our candy when we changed into monsters.
Hugh
No candy on Halloween? That is scary.
OMOctopus Man Jimmy
Don't worry. I can fix that.
What a cool guy. Too bad he didn't have enough time to deliver presents to our house. Or did he? [leaves his room and heads downstairs to the living room and opens his Christmas present] My dwarf star! [reads his note from Santa] "Sorry it took so long. I had to let it cool for five years. Love, Santa." Of course! I should have realized.
Hugh
Good morning, Jimmy. Merry Pule. Funny, it doesn't look like Pule. It looks... just... like... Why... Why, it looks just like Christmas!
[singing] Oh, Judy, well you came and you made me some cookies? Will you- [sees Hugh is walking out, gasps] What we have is beautiful and you can't destroy it.
Hugh
Alrighty then.
[Carl dings the triangle six times]
[as Judy enters the kitchen with her suitcase] Mom? Are you going on a trip?
Oh, you noticed. Well, since you asked, I'm going to a spa for a week to be pampered unmercifully.
Hugh
Hughsy-doodles is confused.
I'm sick of being unappreciated and doing all the work around here. [takes out her long chores list and hands it to Jimmy] Here are the chores I do every week to keep this place up and running. You two are going to have to do every one of them while I'm gone. Good-bye. (And stay out of trouble.) [slams the door and leaves]
Hugh
No one to tell us your bath is ready?
Or make us change our clothes. Or make us leave the lab and come to dinner.
Hugh
No one to tell us you can't have pizza for every meal, or say, "Hugh, put down that duck and talk to me for once."
We're free man! Masters of our own destiny. We rule this house.
Hugh
We, uh… well, once we finish the chores.
Oh, yeah. What's the first one?
[Later that evening… MaternoTron enters the dining room serving Jimmy and Hugh their dinners]
Hugh
So, how's that week's worth of chores coming, Robo-booger?
All chores were completed at 1700 hours this evening.
Good work, MaternoTron. Assume sleep mode until the next mealtime.
Negative. A mother's work is never done. A mother must protect and pamper.
Oh, yeah. [clears throat] Override maternal chip directives until further notice.
Don't use that tone of voice with me, young man. Now eat! [releases the serving covers on Jimmy and Hugh's plates, revealing bowls of liquid spinach]
[horrified] Leaping leptons! I said water the lawn, not cook it! What is this stuff?
Soy protein, kelp, talapala oil, and spinach for flavor.
Hugh
Sugarbooger's dinners never smelled quite so… how do I put it? Disgusting.
[scoops up the spinach with a ladle] This is the train and your mouth is the tunnel.
Hugh
Uh, no thanks. See, my tunnel is temporarily closed for… [MaternoTron stuffs the ladle into his mouth]
(Oh, no.) I must have set the autonomy parameter in the mothering chip too high! She really thinks she's Mom. [MaternoTron stuffs another ladle into his mouth]
And after dinner… [takes out a scrubbing brush with eyes glowing red] your baths. [Jimmy and Hugh react with horror; Later in the master bathroom, Hugh is first to be bathed while she holds him down in the tub, scrubbing him so hard] HOLD STILL!
Hugh
[screaming and moaning] Not the face!
Oh. Um, well, I left my homework in the lab.
Too many wires. You'll electrocute your eye out. Bedtime!
What? But it's only 7:00!
[Jimmy's bedroom; the time on his alarm clock switches to one minute later]
Then I must rock you to sleep. [picks Jimmy up and rocks him at rapid speed; singing] ♪ Rock-a-bye Jimmy on the treetop. Tomorrow more kelp till your pant buttons pop. ♪ Are you tired yet?
[Later that night in the master bedroom…]
I have been neglectful to you as a wife.
Hugh
[nervously] No! Uh, really. It's okay.
No, it is not. Switching to wife mode. Take out the trash! We never talk anymore. Get me some ice cream. Let's watch a movie with lots of crying! I should never have given up my career. Rub my feet.
[The citizens clamor angrily at Hugh for what the Jimmy clones did]
Hugh
Calm down, folks. Now, just tell me, what did the Jimster do?
He busted my skateboard, dude!
He said I was gonna be "dust in the wind."
He made me smile and my dentures fell out! [pulls out her dentures]
He mocked Ultra Lord's family!
He made my heart sing and… [snaps out of it] I mean, he said things to me so vile and despicable I cannot repeat them in mixed company.
PFPie-face Man
And, he threw a pie in my face!
Hugh
[Chuckles] You can't beat the classics. [Pie-face Man growls] I'm sure Jimmy had a good reason for doing all these admittedly strange, bizarre things, so…who wants pie?
[All growling]
PFPie-face Man
[Spits] I'm good.
Oh, no! It was the clones! I gotta find them. Goddard, activate clone locator!
[Goddard's chest show a map with Jimmy's head representing the clones, pinging]
Hey, Neutron. Just trimming the old hedges before they start throwing off pollens for us.
Hugh
Wheezer, I'm going to need my Lawnlopper back.
Well, Gee, Neutron. I gave that thing back weeks ago. You must have forgot.
Hugh
Forgot about my Lawnlopper 300 Pro-Deluxe as seen on TV?! I don't think so.
Well, It's probably in your garage. Why don't you check?
Hugh
It's probably in your garage. I'll just go get it.
Hey! I already told you, I gave it back, you wingding.
Hugh
And I'm telling you you didn't, toolhog.
Hugh
Sneeze-jockey!
Hugh
Just because my lawn is lush and silky while yours is limp and hard to manage…
What?! There's nothing wrong with my lawn.
Hugh
Oh, please! Dandelions, gopher holes, and your tacky ceramic lawn cats- please!
Oh, yeah?! Well, what about your stupid lawn ducks? They're the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood.
Hugh
No, you put that down right now!
Hey, look at me- quack, quack, quack. I'm a stupid lawn duck- quack, quack… whoops.
Hugh
Sir Quacksalot! [smash, screams]
Hugh
That was the final straw, Wheezer. [smashes Mr. Wheezer's lawn cat, then Mr. Wheezer screams] As of right now, we are Mortal Enemies!
Well, that goes double for me!
Hugh
It's a deal!
Hugh
YOU'RE ON! Quick, Jimmy! Throw Carl back in his home. As of right now, we will not have anything to do with him, or anyone named "Wheezer", or anyone who has even "wheeze-ED".
But, Dad, you don't understand. Carl's my best friend.
Not anymore! Now follow me, Carl, 'cause as of right now, the Neutrons and the Wheezers are officially sworn "nemesises"!
Hugh
Don't correct our ignorant opponents, Jimbo! Now into the house, quick! [foreign accent] The air out here is thick with the stench of Wheezers.
Bye, Jimmy. I'll never forget you.
Don't worry, Carl. A feud can't last forever.
[Hugh and Mr. Wheezer find their lawns infested with crabgrass.]
Hugh
Great stinking bananas?!
[The angry dads approach each other.]
Hugh
D'ohhh! This is all your fault, Wheezer!
Oh, no! The crabgrass started on your lawn, Neutron! I guess this neighborhood just can't have nice things!
[pushes them aside] You're both wasting time! The only way to fight an infestation this big is for you to work together.
Never! No lawn is worth that!
Hugh
I'd rather be dipped in pickle juice and thrown to rabid weasels!
Ditto! [Goes back in the house]
Hugh
[sadly patting the lawn] Goodbye, old friend. AVENGE YOU, I WILL!!!
Thank goodness you boys are alright.
Mom, does this mean that this feud is finally over?
And Carl and I can go back to being friends again?
Well, the Wheezers and the Neutrons may have their differences...
But we'll just have to get over them for the sake of the children.
Hugh
I agree one hundred percen-- [realizes something] Just as soon as Wheezer admits that HE TOOK MY LAWNLOPPER! [crying loudly] Golly!
Hugh
Stupidhead!
Hugh
Mucus monkey!
Hugh
"Duck lover"?!
[Judy and Mrs. Wheezer repeatedly hit their husbands with brooms to make them stop arguing]
I just remembered. Sam at the Candy Bar paid me to send a message to Mr. Neutron and he's chosen a festive polka theme song. I think I'll sing it now.
[sings the song about the LawnLopper]
Thanks for borrowing my LawnLopper.
Yodel-lay-yodel-lay-yodel-lay-hee-hoo!
I'll be back for some new sundaes.
Yodel-lay-yodel-lay-yodel-hoo!
That'll be 2 bucks again, please!
NWNeutrons and Wheezers
[infuriated] Sheen...
Of course, we could even discuss a preferred customer discount. [The Neutrons and the Wheezers advance furiously on him as the episode ends]
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Neutron.
My goodness! You boys have turned this place into quite the hot spot.
Yup- hope you enjoy it. Um… hold up, Mr. Neutron.
Hugh
What… I'm with her.
Whoa, whoa, whoa- back it up, chief. Hmm… yeah… nope, sorry, not feeling it.
Hugh
What do you mean?
Don't make me spell it out, Mr. N., but your outfit just isn't saying McSpanky's to me.
Hugh
Oh, really? Well, maybe because it's too busy saying, "Step aside, Mr… Sassymouth before I tell your parents!"
Go ahead- I turned them away two hours ago.
Hugh
That's just terrible. How could you… Hey, look, a famous movie star!
Hugh
[snickers] Sucker.
What, I don't see anybody… Oh, I see him! Hi! No, that's not him.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
