[Vortex residence; Cindy goes under acupuncture, wearing her bathing suit and covered in needles]
Relax, Cindy, only 678 more needles to go.
[Wheezer residence; Mr. Wheezer has put Carl in a plastic bubble]
WMr. Wheezer
[laughing] This is the same plastic bubble my father put me in for 14 happy years! Hey, there, Bubble Boy!
[Folfax residence; Mrs. Folfax is holding a jar up against Libby's forehead with a wasp inside]
FMrs. Folfax
Relax, Libby, baby, it's only a little wasp. Your great-great-great grandmother used wasps to cure everything!
[moves, releasing the wasp] Then why don’t you dig her up and let us sting her? ...I'm sorry, Mama.
[Estevez residence: Sheen is sitting on a chair upside down as his dad grinds pepper up his nose]
Alright! The old "pepper up the nose" cure! I love it! Bring it on!
WMr. Wheezer
Hey, Neutron. Just trimming the old hedges before they start throwing off pollens for us.
Wheezer, I'm going to need my Lawnlopper back.
WMr. Wheezer
Well, Gee, Neutron. I gave that thing back weeks ago. You must have forgot.
Forgot about my Lawnlopper 300 Pro-Deluxe as seen on TV?! I don't think so.
WMr. Wheezer
Well, It's probably in your garage. Why don't you check?
It's probably in your garage. I'll just go get it.
WMr. Wheezer
Hey! I already told you, I gave it back, you wingding.
And I'm telling you you didn't, toolhog.
WMr. Wheezer
Cheese-brain!
Just because my lawn is lush and silky while yours is limp and hard to manage…
WMr. Wheezer
What?! There's nothing wrong with my lawn.
Oh, please! Dandelions, gopher holes, and your tacky ceramic lawn cats- please!
WMr. Wheezer
Oh, yeah?! Well, what about your stupid lawn ducks? They're the laughing stock of the entire neighborhood.
No, you put that down right now!
WMr. Wheezer
Hey, look at me- quack, quack, quack. I'm a stupid lawn duck- quack, quack… whoops.
Sir Quacksalot! [smash, screams]
That was the final straw, Wheezer. [smashes Mr. Wheezer's lawn cat, then Mr. Wheezer screams] As of right now, we are Mortal Enemies!
WMr. Wheezer
Well, that goes double for me!
WMr. Wheezer
Let's do it!
YOU'RE ON! Quick, Jimmy! Throw Carl back in his home. As of right now, we will not have anything to do with him, or anyone named "Wheezer", or anyone who has even "wheeze-ED".
But, Dad, you don't understand. Carl's my best friend.
WMr. Wheezer
Not anymore! Now follow me, Carl, 'cause as of right now, the Neutrons and the Wheezers are officially sworn "nemesises"!
Don't correct our ignorant opponents, Jimbo! Now into the house, quick! [foreign accent] The air out here is thick with the stench of Wheezers.
Bye, Jimmy. I'll never forget you.
Don't worry, Carl. A feud can't last forever.
[Hugh and Mr. Wheezer find their lawns infested with crabgrass.]
WMr. Wheezer
Holly leaping catfish!
[The angry dads approach each other.]
D'ohhh! This is all your fault, Wheezer!
WMr. Wheezer
Oh, no! The crabgrass started on your lawn, Neutron! I guess this neighborhood just can't have nice things!
[pushes them aside] You're both wasting time! The only way to fight an infestation this big is for you to work together.
WMr. Wheezer
Never! No lawn is worth that!
I'd rather be dipped in pickle juice and thrown to rabid weasels!
WMr. Wheezer
Ditto! [Goes back in the house]
[sadly patting the lawn] Goodbye, old friend. AVENGE YOU, I WILL!!!
Thank goodness you boys are alright.
Mom, does this mean that this feud is finally over?
And Carl and I can go back to being friends again?
Well, the Wheezers and the Neutrons may have their differences...
But we'll just have to get over them for the sake of the children.
I agree one hundred percen-- [realizes something] Just as soon as Wheezer admits that HE TOOK MY LAWNLOPPER! [crying loudly] Golly!
WMr. Wheezer
MORON FACE!!
WMr. Wheezer
DUCK LOVER!!!
[Judy and Mrs. Wheezer repeatedly hit their husbands with brooms to make them stop arguing]
I just remembered. Sam at the Candy Bar paid me to send a message to Mr. Neutron and he's chosen a festive polka theme song. I think I'll sing it now.
[sings the song about the LawnLopper]
Thanks for borrowing my LawnLopper.
Yodel-lay-yodel-lay-yodel-lay-hee-hoo!
I'll be back for some new sundaes.
Yodel-lay-yodel-lay-yodel-hoo!
That'll be 2 bucks again, please!
NWNeutrons and Wheezers
[infuriated] Sheen...
Of course, we could even discuss a preferred customer discount. [The Neutrons and the Wheezers advance furiously on him as the episode ends]
Now, Jimmy, I want you to behave yourself at the Wheezers' this weekend.
Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine. I've been looking forward to this for weeks.
It'll be just like having a brother who looks nothing like me and has a different last name.
[slightly annoyed] Man, you guys are so lucky! I have to stay home and loofah my grandma's cankles.
WMr. Wheezer
I can't believe you're camping out in the desert. [snorts] I get slightly phlegmy just thinking about it.
That's what Burning Duck is all about, Wheezer, my man. We're going to let it all hang out, groove to a natural scene, might even toast some marshmallows.
Honey, put your pants on. You can groove when we get to the desert. See you soon, sweetie.
Keep it real, Jimbo. Go with the flow.
Well, Jimmy, let's get you settled in.
Bye, guys. Have fun while I'm cankling.
Sounds like my men are hungry!
Uh… what is this, Mrs. Wheezer?
Fiber loaf à la king- a hypoallergenic protein substitute.
WMr. Wheezer
You see, Jimmy, the Mrs. and I are allergic to most, meat, fish, grain, dairy, fruit, vegetable, and jalapeño-based food products.
Eat it, Jimmy, before it gets damp.
[grabs the fork and picks it up, with the entire bowl stuck to it] Well, mind if I add some salt?
WMr. Wheezer
Come on, family! We're gonna climb Mt. Incredibly Unstable!
[Mrs. and Carl look scared.]
No one's ever climbed Mt. Incredibly Unstable and lived! I'm in!
[The Wheezers run off, shouting.]
[flying around the hallway with a rocket board] Coming through, watch it! [his rocket board gets magnitized] Hey, what's wrong with my rocket board?! [screams as he's pulled by his enraged mother with the Electro-Magnet; shocked] Mom?!
[outraged] You are so grounded, mister!
[pops out of a nearby trash can] She's right, Jimbo. I'm afraid your senseless reign of carnage is over.
Hi, Jimmy. You said to spread the word, so I told our parents.
You bring your teachers back, this instant!
I can't! They're programmed to be back in a week.
Then, we will have to round these children up ourselves. Kids? Oh, kids!
Allow me, hon. [loudly] QUIET!!!
[The students all stop partying and get their attention]
Children, please go to your classrooms. Until Miss Fowl and the others return, we parents will be filling in as substitute teachers.
[The students all groan and complain in dismay]
[speechless] Substitute teachers?!
WMr. Wheezer
Good idea, Judy. The kids shouldn't miss one precious day of education.
Mom, Dad, you can't do this! It'll be totally embarrassing!
Don't be silly, Jimbo. Your mother would never dream of embarrassing you.
WMr. Wheezer
Neutron, this coffee you made is absolutely delicious!
Thanks, but my secret ingredient is the low-cal sweetener Judy brought. [takes out the raging hormone bottle Judy took from Jimmy, even though he's still grounded from doing science]
Hugh, that's not the low-cal sweetener! That's the bottle I took from Jimmy this morning!
Well, it tastes marvelous.
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius · 473 quotes
