Kitty Katswell quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Kitty

Stop using me to hit people, Dudley! Or should I call you… THE IDIOT?! [bashes Dudley on the head with her fist]

Kitty

[irked] This is all your fault, Dudley! We never would've been captured if you hadn't kept trying to celebrate my birthday!

Kitty

[referring to the Caped Cod] That is one freaky fish.

Kitty

Put your hands up, Stink Bug! [Stink Bug raises his hands and his underarm odor melts her and Dudley's blasters; disgusted] Oh! Okay, put em' back down!

Kitty

[disguised as a tour guide] And here's Petropolis Museum's most famous possession, the Kruger Rat.

[amazed] Oooh!

Kitty

Made of rare ratamantium, legend says that when the full moon hits its emerald eyes, they beam a hypnotic ray that controls the minds of rats.

Snaptrap

[dropping in from the ceiling] Precisely why I'm stealing it!

Who are you?

Snaptrap

Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!

Oh, you, uh, Dr. Destruction?

Snaptrap

What?! No!

You're the Kanga-rooster. The bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!

Snaptrap

[sighs in annoyance] I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! [holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]

Never heard of you.

Snaptrap

Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! [knocks off the glass case and steals the artifact]

Kitty

Think again, Snaptrap! [rips off her disguise and makes a fighting pose] Hyah!

Snaptrap

Well, if it isn't special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! [grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor] Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!

Kitty

I'd rather use my ten claws!

Kitty

We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.

Dudley

Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

Careful, Kitty, he's part-Chinese… [stutters] Fighting Dog.

Dudley

Beef with broccoli! [flicks Kitty in the nose] Orange chicken!

Dudley

I still can't believe T.U.F.F. agents get to take vacations. Aren't we supposed to be protecting the world from evil?

Kitty

Don't worry, Dudley, T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. have a longstanding agreement to take a vacation in the last week of August.

Snaptrap

We're not taking a vacation!

[disappointed] Aww…

But, Snaptrap, I already booked D.O.O.M. timeshare in Acapulco. I wanted to go snorkeling.

Snaptrap

You can snorkel in the shark tank, Larry!

Chief

[enters T.U.F.F. Headquarters and sees all filed papers piled everywhere and is in a complete wreck] What in blazes?! Have we been attacked by D.O.O.M.?!

Kitty

No, Chief. We're just a little disorganized since we lost our secretary.

Chief

The secretary quit?!

No, we literally lost her. She took a 10-minute break, stuff piled up, and we never… [stutters] saw her again. Rosemary, if you can hear us, shoot up a flare!

Chief

This is a nightmare! We've gotta hire a new secretary! (But who?)

Chameleon

So, they need a new secretary, hmm? Now I have the perfect cover to get into T.U.F.F.! [disguises himself as a female French poodle] I am now Fifi Ouioui! French poodle secretary! I'll need a convincing French accent. [clears throat] Sacre bleu. Croissant. Eiffel Tower. Perfect! What's not so perfect is that French poodles can't stick to walls! [falls and hits the ground] As they say in France, ow là là!"

Kitty

Oh, my gosh. You have a crush on her, don't you?

Dudley

What?! No.

Kitty

Oh, yes, you do. You wuv her.

Dudley

I don't "wuv" her. Just because she's the most gorgeous, amazing, French-- KITTY, I WUV HER! What do I do?! You gotta help me!

Kitty

Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. [holds up a newspaper of Snaptrap's prison release with the headline reading: "Snaptrap Released!"]

Dudley

[looking at computer monitor, not noticing] Oh, yeah.

Kitty

Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!

Dudley

[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while gazing at the monitor] Come to papa.

Kitty

Are you surfing meat again?

Dudley

Who, me? No. That would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.

Snaptrap

[in an elegant tuxedo] Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!

Dudley

Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Snaptrap

My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. [holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it] Say hello to Vivian!

[unenthusiastically] Hello, Vivian.

[chanting excitedly] Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!

Kitty

Get a grip, people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous, or bombs, or-or poisonous bombs!

Dudley

Kitty may be right. You better let me eat all the muffins just to be safe. It's what heroes do. [rips off his black shirt, revealing a blue muffin shirt]

What are you having for lunch today, Kitty?

Kitty

[holds up an anchovy sandwich; smiling] Anchovies.

[blasts a hole through it with his blaster] I was gonna have muffin. NOW WE'RE EVEN! [storms off in anger as Kitty's sandwich disintegrates]

Dudley

Anchovies? He kinda did you a favor.

Dudley

[chanting] Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules!

[chanting] Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules! [Kitty shows up and they all scream in fear at her]

You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?

Kitty

[looks at all the other people, all quivering in fear] No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.

Dudley

Hey, mean lady, where are you going?

Kitty

[walks to the mall's exit in disappointment] I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.

Dudley

[blocks her way] Kitty, wait. Don't be so hard on yourself. You were just trying to protect everyone in your own super-violent, pushy, misguided, heartless.. I forgot my point.

Snaptrap

[on monitors] It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? [rips off his tuxedo] I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. [laughs evilly]

Kitty

Ah-ha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. [pulls out pom-poms and shakes them around, gloating] Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!

Chief

I can't believe Snaptrap was lying! That means those bathroom floors weren't as clean as he said they were!

Chief, I've analyzed a… [stutters] blueprint of the mall. The bad news is, there's absolutely no way to stop the mall from hurdling toward the sun.

Chief

Hmm… What's the good news?

The food court's open till 9.

Kitty

Keswick, give me that blueprint.

Chief

What's your plan, Kitty?

Kitty

I'm gonna get Dudley to hurl us even faster toward the sun.

Chief

What's your backup plan, Kitty?

Kitty

Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.

Chief

Keswick, will that actually work?

Dudley

Trust her, guys. She's got good instincts.

Are you crazy?! She blew up my muffin!

She ruined my day at the beach!

She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!

Chief

No, she didn't.

Oh, sorry. I thought we were just yelling stuff.

Chief

What's the temperature, Keswick?

112 degrees, sir. [his clothes burn off, only leaving him in his underwear] Perfectly… [stutters] survivable, unless you're made of soap.

Snaptrap

[as Vivian melts] NO! Vivian! Now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!

Kitty

[aiming a net shooter at him] Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make another soap friend.

Snaptrap

Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!

Francisco

[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat] It's too hot, boss.