Hey, Steven, look at this! [pulls out small cackling skull]
Whoa! What are you, crazy?! [knocks the skull out of Amethyst's hand and stomps it]
An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them.
They were after this. [takes out an hourglass from her fanny pack]
[entranced] Can I see that?
[interrupts] No! It’s extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home.
Garnet! Tell Pearl to let me see the thing! [Garnet puts finger to his lips]
Aw, man! I wanna come next time! I even wrote us a song. [takes out ukulele] It’s like: If you’re— W-wait, hold on. Hmm... [tunes ukulele, singing]
If you're evil and you're on the rise
You can count on the four of us taking you down
Cause we're good and evil never beats us
We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas.
We... are the Crystal Gems
We'll always save the day
And if you think we can't
We'll always find a way.
That's why the people of this world... believe in
Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... and Steven!
[Steven finds the fridge full of Cookie Cat ice cream sandwiches]
[with starry eyes] No way. I-It can't be! Wha-- Where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them!
Well, we heard that too, and since they're your favorite...
We went out and stole a bunch!
[grunts at Amethyst angrily] I went back and paid for them.
The whole thing was my idea.
All that matters is that Steven is happy.
[begins to rap] Oooohhh…!
He's a frozen treat with a whole new taste,
Cos he came to this planet from outer space!
A refugee from an interstellar war,
But now he's at your local grocery store!
(Cookie Cat!) He's a pet for your tummy!
(Cookie Cat!) He's super duper yummy!
(Cookie Cat!) He left his family behind!
Cookie Caaaat! [murmurs] Now available at Gertman's off-route 109. [Gems burst out in laughter and applause]
I can't believe you did this. I’m gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one. Hello, old friend. [bites into one] Oh, so good! [Steven's gem begins to glow] I like to eat the ears first.
Quick! Try and summon your weapon!
I don’t know how! [panicking] Ah, it's fading! How do I make it come back?!
Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don't force it.
Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
Please, don't. [Steven's gem glow fades away, collective sigh]
Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?
I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. So, [points] Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm... Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?
Okay, your Majesty. [crosses arms]
And Pearl, your foot was like this. [moves it at the angle it was]
I don't think it works this way, Steven.
And Garnet— uhh... [mushes her face upward] Yeah.
[Steven takes half-eaten Cookie Cat out of freezer]
Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh, he’s a frozen treat..all new taste..interstellar war, now available at Gertman's... Aw! It was funnier last time! [beat, sighs] Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
Don't be silly, Steven. Of course you are.
And you’re fun to have around, even if your gem is useless. [Pearl growls]...I mean, you’re one of us, Steven. We're not the Crystal Gems without you! [Garnet nods]
Yeah, even if I don't have powers, I still got... Cookie Cat! [takes a bite] Oh, so good. [Steven’s gem glows then summons his shield, collective gasp]
Oh-ho, what?! I get a shield?! Oh... YEAH!!
[he launches the shield which ricochets everywhere across the room, breaking a TV. Amethyst cracks up]
Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!!
[looks through telescope] Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big!
Garnet! Pearl! [runs to them carrying Steven]
We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity! Where were you? [Amethyst puts Steven down]
Can I see? [peers] Whoa...
[the shining sphere uncovers itself, revealing a hexagonal-looking iris and pupil]
It's a giant eyeball! Awesome!
Not awesome! It's a Red Eye!
A Red Eye?! It's going to infect us all!
That's pinkeye, Steven. [Amethyst laughs]
It’s going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We have to stop it!
The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a light cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.
If Rose were here, this would be so easy.
I know, but she's not. And the cannon is missing. We'll have to find another solution.
If it belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where it is. He can help us save the day! Ah? Eh?
..Greg is... nice, Steven. But I doubt someone like Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.
Your dad is kinda a mess, Steven.
I'm just sayin'! Even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean somehow.
You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up except—
And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. [Steven's knee breaks a frame of Greg and a beautiful pink-haired woman] I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me.
[gasps] Uh, Dad? I broke a photo!
S'okay, buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs! [inside, a bright glow shines on Steven]
Huh? [sees a glowing pink cannon-shaped object] The light cannon!
[speaks to the cannon] Please work! Unlock! Activate! Go, please! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless! I know you can help!
It's okay, Steven! We'll figure out something else! Something even better.
R-r-right... If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs...
[the cannon glows again; Steven gasps. Its forming hinges start to drop one by one, causing Steven to fall down]
[the cannon unlocks and falls; all Gems gasp. Steven then attempts to lift it, the Gems soon help]
We fought a giant bird. We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out.
Because we have to place this Moon Goddess Statue at the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart. Oh Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday. It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue.
Because I can help carry it for you, in this! [takes backpack out of package]
It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger. Aww, I blew it. [puts the backpack over his shoulder] I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like "Dang, Steven, that's so cool", but this is obviously important Gem business.
Yes, so you should let us take care of it.
What? I'm a Gem! [lifts up shirt and points to gem]
But you've still got a lot to learn.
So let him come! [waves hands] It'll be educational.
Hmm, alright. [hands statue to Steven] You can carry it in your hamburger.
[gasps, then laughs] Mr. Queasy! [shakes the plush doll and laughs]
QMr. Queasy
Ooh, I got a medical condition!
You're definitely gonna come in handy! [removes first aid kit and stuffs it in]
Coming! [walks down stairs and onto warp pad]
What’s the matter Steven?
I wanted all of us to have breakfast together. So I made together breakfast, [points to breakfast] but everyone keeps leaving.
[whilst leaving through door] Ah, that’s nice.
Oh no, not you too! I can’t let this become together brunch! [runs towards door and jams with arm, slips through]
AGAll Gems (Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl)
Steven!
Ugh, [breakfast shakes] Together breakfast? [Breakfast transforms into a massive monster of its ingredients and wraps Steven in its syrup, Pearl spears it, which distracts it]
It’s taken refuge in organic matter! [Monster hits Pearl and sticks her to the wall with a mix of whipped cream and syrup]
Now it has all the power of a breakfast, we have to destroy it.
[surrounded by whipped cream] Aah! It’s horrible!
I didn’t want this! I just wanted to eat together like, like best buds!
[arm stuck in its mass] Steven, you’ve got to get away.
But my breakfast--! [Monster launches a giant waffle at both Garnet and Amethyst which smashes them against a wall]
That’s... enough! I... don’t care if you... are the most important meal of the day! [pushing the monster from the bottom, into the lava well] I made you to bring us together... not to tear us apart!
Hey, Steven, have you seen a gem shard anywhere? It's very important.
No. Have you seen my pants? [in his underwear] They're also very important.
I'm serious, Steven. [holds bubble] These shards have a powerful partial consciousness that has been harnessed by Gems throughout history in order to create...
[thinking] "They weren't in the kitchen either... under the bed! No, wait, I looked there too. And then Pearl walked in... [gasps] Pearl!"
—obedience waned as the shards overdeveloped...
"Oh, jeez... she's really explaining something... [sighs] I can't just start listening now! I'd be lost... Just like my pants..."
—could become a monster! That's why it's very, very important that it's kept away from any kind of garment.
[a pair of blue denim pants sprints across the room unnoticed]
If you see it, bring it to me right away. I'm going to check in town! [leaves]
For my pants?! [long beat] ..I guess I'll keep looking here. [sees his self-sentient pants] That's unusual!!
Ah... Where's your face, Frybo? Being part of the Fryman family means you gotta sell fries! And be my son, which you are. [Peedee sighs] So... you're already halfway there. Keep at it, Frybo!
I'm Pee— [Fryman closes door] dee...
When I told my Dad I wanted to be part of the Fryman family business, I didn't think it meant being stuck in a sweaty old costume. Things used to be different, Steven. Nothing to worry about back then except making myself dizzy on the old seahorse ride at Funland...
Oh, Frybo, you're hilarious. [Peedee clenches his hands, sighs]
I wish there was a way for this costume to do its job without me in it! [Steven thinks for a beat]
Maybe it can, Peedee... Maybe it can...
