Connie Maheswaran quotes from Steven Universe

Connie

So, why were there humanoid tracks out there? They weren't ours, and they weren't Pearl's... It couldn't have been the monster, unless it's just some guy in a monster suit. But that kind of thing only happens in cartoons. Usually over a property dispute.

Connie

Don't listen to her, Steven! She's just trying to mess with you!

Steven

"Hi! My name is Steven." "Hi, my name is Stevan." "Hi... my name is... Stefan?"

Steven

Hi, my name is Steven!!

Steven

Whoa! How do I do that? [turns to her] Hi! My name... is Steven! [she adjusts her glasses]

Connie. What... happened?

Steven

I'm magic. Well, half-magic, on my mom's side.

Connie

You did this?

Steven

Apparently. I'm a member of the Crystal Gems. We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff.

Connie

Oh! That's kinda like my dad. He's a cop. Well... more like a private security guard.

Connie

So... How long does it usually last?

Steven

Oh! Right. [he strains his arms and himself, pats his gem]

Connie

What's wrong?

Steven

It, uh... doesn't seem to wanna go away.

Connie

Oh.

Steven

So, I don't see you around that often. [they start rolling forward]

Connie

My dad works for a bunch of different beaches, so... we're never in the same place long.

Steven

I go on adventures with the Gems sometimes. They usually say it's too dangerous for me, though. [strains on some rocks, falls down] Ugh!

Connie

Do you always go in a bubble?

Steven

No, this is new. I dunno what this is. But it's okay! The Gems will knew what to do!

Steven

Aw, what?! [pushes his side, straining] Hey! Guys! Garnet, help!!

Connie

[pause] I don't think they can hear you.

Steven

[facepalms] Aww, that's right! I told them not to watch.

Connie

We can just wait here until they come out.

Steven

No, no, no, it's okay! I've got other friends that can help.

Steven

Oh, sorry! Are you alright? [Connie stands up] It's not so bad. [looks up] Uhh... It-It's okay! I, uh—

Connie

It's not okay!! You keep saying that but you don't know what you're doing! Now we're going to suffocate or starve at the bottom of the ocean, and only my parents will notice because no one else cares about me!

Steven

Huh?

Connie

[crying] I'm gonna disappear without ever making a single friend...

Steven

We can be friends. [beat] I saw you at the boardwalk parade last year. You dropped your bracelet. I picked it up, but then I couldn't find you. I saved it in the freezer so it would last longer, in case I saw you again.

Connie

Oh! You were the kid on the car wash float. [chuckles] You had soap bubbles in your hair.

Steven

I was supposed to be a scrub brush. [both chuckle] I'm sorry, Connie. [puts bracelet on her arm] If I had returned your bracelet back then, you wouldn't be stuck in this bubble with me now.

Connie

No, it's okay! I'm having fun.

Steven

Introducing the finest in luxury transportation... Lion!

[yawns and lays down]

Steven

Aw, you little goofball. [Walks over to Lion and presses his face into his mane]

Connie

You have a pet lion?!

Steven

[Lifts his face out of Lion's mane] Lion is sort of like a pet. He does his own thing most of the time, though.

[Chomping on something; The shot switches to a half-eaten crystal iguana by Lion's paws]

Steven

See? Who KNOWS where he got that?

Connie

Wow, Steven. Everything in your life is so awesome and magical. [Connie picks up a stick] The most exciting thing in my life is tennis practice. [She gets into a stance and swings the stick from her left to her right] Forehand! [She swings the stick from her right and back to her left] Backhand! [She brings the stick to the center of her body, bringing it up and then slamming it down] Overhead death strike!

Steven

Whoa! Tennis is rad!

Connie

[Picks up the stick again] Well, I made up that last one.

[Snarls]

Steven

I think Lion says we should hurry up and go. Or maybe he was just yawning. [Steven and Connie blink and stare at each other for a few seconds, then Steven throws his arms up into the air] Anyways, let's go to the movie!

Steven

Did you see what I did? It was magic! My tears brought the fountain back to life and saved Amethyst!

Pearl

..I'm pretty sure me and Garnet unplugging the clogged chamber brought the fountain back to life.

Garnet

We saved Amethyst.

Steven

[beat] You don't think my crying was... a little related to that?

Pearl

Oh, Steven. You don't have healing tears. You'll never have any real magic powers, [Steven becomes horrified] and we don't want anything more to do with you.

Connie

"She didn't really say that!"

Steven

No... but that's what it felt like.

Connie

Is that why you've been so down? [he shrugs] Oh. You can have your juice back.

Steven

Nah, that's okay. [sniffles, sighs] Everyone expects me to be like my mom. What if I never get those powers?

Connie

Then you'll be like me. That's not so bad.

Steven

But... if I don't have powers, then I can't hang out with Amethyst, or Garnet, or Pearl... [starts crying, grips pants tightly] and I-I can't go on missions! [Connie touches his hand]

Connie

You don't need any powers to be here with me.

Connie

Ow! Ahh...

Steven

What's wrong?

Connie

I think... [sigh] there's just... [take glasses off] There's something wrong with my glasses. [sees Steven clearly] My... My eyes... I-I-I can see!

Steven

What?!

Connie

I can see without my glasses!

Steven

Did I... heal your eyes? But... how?

Steven

The juice box! I don't have healing tears! I HAVE HEALING SPIT!!

Connie

What am I going to tell my parents? What am I going to tell my optometrist?!

Steven

I don't even know! [hugs her] Oh, thank you, Connie! Lion, let's go tell the Gems! They're never gonna believe this!

Steven

Things are going pretty good so far, huh?

Connie

[with her hands on her head] Steven, are you kidding me?! What is this thing that you brought to dinner?!

Steven

It-it's my family. It's all the gems fused together into a six-armed, giant woman.

Connie

Why couldn't you just bring one of the gems?

Steven

'Cause that would be a lie.

Connie

So, Steven was telling me that on his mom's apple farm, they're bio-engineering a gala-fuji hybrid.

Steven

Yes, that's definitely true.

Connie

Isn't that right, Mrs. Universe?

Alexandrite

(sniffs) Ugh! What are you doing? I'm hungry!! I don't think so. Cut it out, you two.

Steven

Where's this bus taking us?

Connie

Wherever we end up. We'll find a way to survive. I've been reading about sustainable living.

Steven

Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!

Connie

What's up with you and apples today?

Alexandrite

STEVE-E-E-N! [Steven and Connie scream; picks up the bus] You two, come out of that bus this instant!

Steven

Aah! Okay! J-just put the bus down first.

I don't even know where to begin with you, young la--

Pearl

What were you thinking, running off with Connie like that? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!

Garnet

Or gotten mangled in traffic.

Amethyst

Or thrown in prison.

Pearl

Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you.

Steven

But...

Garnet

No dinner for 1,000 years.

Steven

(sad expression) 1,000?

Pearl

We would never starve you, but you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.

Steven

No! The midseason pre-finale of "Under the Knife"! How can you do this to me?!

Greg

Because we love you, Steven.

Wow. That was a masterful use of the "because we love you" shutdown. I'm quite partial to the "It's for your own good!" myself.

That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit, was pretty funny. [laughs]

Garnet

All comedy is derived from fear.

[laughs] You are too much.

I did not know what to make of the two of- Excuse me, four of you, but I see that you are responsible parents. Uh, caregivers? Guardians.

Connie

So, I can still hang out with Steven?

Sure.

Steven

Alright!

Steven

Jamie!

Jamie

Oh, hey, Connie and Steven. You guys come out here to stare at the ocean and think about life too?

Connie

Uhh, no...? We came to, uh—

Jamie

Yeah, life is crazy. One day, you're right here in Beach City delivering mail and then the next thing you know... you're on a bus to Kansas, following your dreams of becoming an actor. "Follow your dreams," they said. But no one said anything about all the rejection and sadness there was to be found. So many auditions day after day... So much rejection day after day... That's why I came back. [two seagulls crash into each other and fall into the sea] One more rejection would have destroyed my fragile heart. [sobs, chuckles] Sorry... sometimes I get caught up in the drama zone, you know?

Steven

Yeah, right... Drama zone.

Connie

Oh, by the way, we have something for yo—

Steven

No, we don't!

Garnet

I didn't mean to upset you.

Jamie

Then will you go out with me?

Garnet

No!

Jamie

But I've loved you since the moment I saw you.

Garnet

Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least, you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea who or what I am. [shades glimmer]

Jamie

But I bloom for you like— like a... camellia... under moonlight?

Garnet

No, you don't! [long beat] You make a very convincing lovesick fool. You convinced these children. [adjusts her shades] You even convinced yourself. [smiling] You're a fantastic actor.

Jamie

[beat] ..What am I supposed to do now?

Garnet

Start with local theater. [slaps Jamie's back, then walks away. Connie and Steven walk closer to him]

Connie

Are you okay?

Jamie

Yeah. That was some pretty solid advice.

Steven

Were those more letters you wrote to Garnet?

Jamie

No. That was the mail I was supposed to deliver on my last route.

Steven

[beat] We'll help you pick it all up.

Jamie

Thanks.

Connie

[fights off seagulls with her violin bow] Run back to your masters! Tell them we're not afraid of your kind!

Steven

[chuckles] Thanks for saving my jam snack. Unfortunately, it's not safe from me. [munches it] You're such a good sword fighter, Connie.

Connie

Really? I was just swinging this thing around. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'd love to learn how to use a real sword!

Steven

Oh! [gulps snack; starry eyes] Steven has an idea!

Pearl

You want me to do what?!

Steven

You should teach Connie to sword fight, she's already so good!

Connie

Steven!

Steven

But you are! Y-You helped me fight the robot floaty-thing, she took down that evil clone of herself, uh... those mean seagulls just now?

Pearl

You're awfully young to begin something like this. But I suppose I was only a few thousand years old when I began fighting alongside Rose Quartz. [Connie raises her hand] Yes, Connie?

Connie

Please! I want to learn! I mean, I don't know what'll happen in the future. But if something dangerous comes along... I don't wanna be a burden, I wanna help! I want to be there for Steven to fight by his side! The Earth is my home too. Can't I help protect it? [Pearl starts watering tears of joy]

Pearl

Oh... okay... If that's how you feel... we should get started!

Steven

Woo-hoo! [runs after her laughing]

Connie

Wait, now?

Connie

Keep my stance wide ("Good.")

Pearl

Concentrate! Don't you want him to live?!

Connie

Right foot, left foot

Pearl

Yes, but put your whole body into it!

Connie

Deep down, I know that I'm just a human ("True.")

But I/you know that I/you can draw my/your sword and fight

Connie

With my short existence, ("Good.") I can make a difference ("Yes, excellent!")