Sadie quotes from Steven Universe

Sadie

Hey, Beach City, we're not done yet! I'd like to welcome my friend and yours to the stage… Steven Universe!

Steven

Wait! I want to tell you Purple Puma's backstory. He was the wildest cat in the jungle, so wild that the others cats couldn't take it. So she, I mean he went to look for somewhere he fit in, somewhere with other people who felt misunderstood.

Sadie

That really sounds like Steven. [Lars shushes Sadie]

Steven

That's why we're all here. To be wild and free, and body slam each other, and wear cool costumes, and make up nicknames and and uh..so can't we just have this? Can't we just wrestle? [Garnet takes microphone]

Garnet

No. [everyone gasps] Because we are the...Notorious Order of Wrestling Haters.

Pearl

That's right! Um...we want to stop all wrestling everywhere! Are you going to let us destroy all wrestling?

Lars

You gotta save wrestling! Come on! Tiger! Puma! Tiger! Puma!

Steven

Two of the usual, please. I've had quite a day.

Lars

You must be confused, pal. I work here every day and I've never seen your mug before.

Steven

Oh, hardy-har, Lars!

Sadie

Huh?

Steven

I used to make jokes. But you know what? I've had a lot of time to think today and sometimes you gotta smarten up. Act like an adult, 'cause one day if you don't, everyone you know is gonna grow up without you, and you won't have little Steven to pick on anymore because I'll be a grown up too!

Sadie

Steven... who?

Steven

..Steven Quartz Universe!! And I want that donut right there! [taps glass screen, sees his reflection] Uwah?! Aahh!!

Sadie

Sir, ar-are you okay?!

Steven

I'M... OLD!!

Lars

Yeah, and nuts.

Steven

I'm gonna have to eat fiber cereal, all my teeth are gonna fall out, and then, I'll have to eat oatmeal, [ages further] and it'll be sugar-free! Sugar-free..! [sits down crying with Sadie beside him] I need to reverse this!! ..I need a reverse birthday! The king costume... [to Sadie and Lars] Will you help me into my birthday suit?

Sadie

YEAH, YOU'D BETTER RUN!

Steven

[limping as his back hurts from running] I'm…too…old…for this. [ages forward into an old man with gray hair and trips over]

Amethyst

Hey, Steven. You wanna try some special new french fries? [offers him some]

Steven

[happily] Do I? [grabs and eats a handful; chuckles until his face turns red; screaming] HOT!

Amethyst

They're special because they're seasoned with… [takes out a vial of Fire Salt to show him] Fire Salt!

Lars

Steven! What are you… [slips on the soda puddle and falls]

Steven

[exhausted] Sorry, Lars.

Lars

Ugh, Steven! Who do you think has to clean up this mess? [turns] Sadie, clean up this mess.

Sadie

[annoyed] No way, it's your turn. I cleaned the last five "Stevens."

Lars

Aw, come on. That fall messed up my back. [rubs side] It hurts, really bad.

Sadie

[rolls eyes and takes up mop and bucket] Fine. Move aside, I'll take care of this. Could you grab the soap? [Lars belts out an anguished groan]

Lars

[exaggerating, contorts body into pained position] Oh! It hurts! Sooo much!

Sadie

[concerned] Maybe you should take the day off.

Lars

[snaps upright] Okay! You gonna be fine on your own?

Sadie

Well, I guess so bu--

Lars

[walking out] You’re the best Player Two! [leaves]

Jenny

[bumps into Lars] Oof. hey Lars, thanks for inviting us over.

Lars

It’s no problem, [goofy laugh] cause I got the whole day off, by faking a severe back injury! [both Jenny and Sour Cream high-five him]

Steven

[disgusted] Ugh, he was faking this whole-- [notices an emotionally distraught Sadie, runs after her, and grabs her arm] Uh, don't worry! We can handle the Big Donut. Who needs crummy old Lars?

Sadie

[emotional] Steven! He's made a fool of me! [to herself] IDIOT! [crying] He's burned me before... [angrily] just once, I'd like to burn him back!

Steven

[gets an idea] I know how to burn people!

Steven

Hi, Lars!

Lars

Why is Steven in a Donut suit?

Sadie

Don't worry about that. How's your back?

Lars

Oh, actually it still hurts like—

Sadie

Really?

Lars

No, no, it's cool. I know I can count on you to help, "P2".

Sadie

Sure. Just relax, in fact, why don't you have a donut? [presents him the donut dosed in Fire Salt]

Lars

Yeah, alright.

Sadie

Careful, it's a little hot.

Lars

[takes a bite of the donut] Hey, this is pretty good, is this a new flavor or something?

Steven

[cracks up, laughing] She said… she said it's hot!

Amethyst

Hey, why's donut guy breathing fire?

Steven

I tried to prank Lars but I used too much Fire Salt!

Amethyst

Steven, that's hilarious.

Lars

[struggling to talk, getting out words in between fire breaths] YOU… DID… THIS… TO ME?! [angrily begins chasing Steven around, setting the boardwalk aflame in the process, as Amethyst looks on, greatly amused and laughing]

Sadie

It wasn't Steven! [approaching] It was me. [Lars appears surprised and lets Steven go]

Amethyst

Ohhh, now it's gettin' good!

Sadie

After all I do for you, you LIE to me? So you can sneak off with some other girl?!

Steven

[from background] And other boys! [Lars, still struggling to breath, glares at Steven whom retreats behind cover]

Sadie

[tearing up] That night we played video games, I don't know what it meant to you. But ever since then, I can't get the thought out of my head that you’re a good person. [grabs his hand] That night, I really thought…Player Two. Is that just your way of saying I could’ve been anyone?

Lars

[attempting to speak without breathing fire] Sadie-- [coughs]

Steven

Another day saved by Steven Universe, with the bonus musical stylings of Harold Smiley! You're welcome!

Sadie

I'm not apologizing.

Lars

[in a strained voice while coughing] Uh, no! [wheezes] I want to help! But I get it if you want to be alone.

Steven

Welcome to paradise!

Sadie

Oh, Steven... it's beautiful here.

Lars

It's a beach! We live on a beach!

Steven

It's a magical beach!

Lars

[fumbles phone] Is that why my phone has no reception? Why were you even here?!

Steven

We came here to look for a dangerous gem creature that we never found...

Lars

..Yep. I'm going.

Sadie

Huh? Lars! Wait! Lars... this could actually be kind of fun!

Lars

If I'm going to be bored out of my mind and possibly die, I'm gonna go to work and get paid for it. [stops to find warp pad missing] Okay, where is it?

Steven

What?

Lars

The teleporter thing! Where is it?!

Sadie

Oh, i-it wouldn't disappear... would it?

Steven

No, no, no... Well, maybe.

Lars

WHAT!?!

Steven

It's okay! The Gems'll come to save us when they see I'm missing! Eventually...

Lars

STEVEN!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?! WE'RE STRANDED!!

Sadie

Calm down! Is this really the worst place to be stuck in? [view on a waterfall and butterflies]

Lars

Ugh! You calm down. I'm gonna find better reception.

Lars

[stroking Sadie's hand; tearing up] Sadie? Do you ever get lonely, even when you're around people? [Sadie nodes yes; presses his lips into her mouth and they both start kissing]

Steven

[singing] Why don't you let yourself just be…

STEVEN!

Lars

[annoyed] How long have you been watching us?!

Sadie

Don't you know what privacy is?!

Steven

People walk in and out of my room all the time.

Lars

[glares angrily at Sadie, realizing she hid the Warp Pad in a pile of leaves] You knew! [wrenches his arm away from her]

Steven

Uh, guys?

Lars

It's her fault we've been trapped here! [points angrily at Sadie]

Steven

[shocked] WHAAAAAAT?!

Sadie

Look, I panicked! I hid the Warp Pad! You were just gonna leave, but I knew how much you really needed this! Why don't you ever let me help you?!

Lars

Help me?! Are you insane?! You trapped me on an island, so you could come on to me! [sulks]

Sadie

[screams in aggravation and starts slapping him] You kissed me on the mouth!

Lars

No, I didn't!

Steven

Guys, I want to be mad too, but can we do it on the Warp Pad?!

Steven

[enters the Big Donut] So, what would happen if I said hi to Sadie?

Garnet

The most probable outcome is that Sadie will say hi back.

Steven

Hmm... Hi, Sadie!

Sadie

Oh, hi, Steven.

Steven

[chuckles] Aw, that was an easy one. What would happen if... [points to Lars at the coffee machine] I said hi to my BFF, Lars? Our friendship is deep but complicated. So the outcome of this experiment is waaaay unpredictable!

Garnet

I see a single potential future where Lars gives you a high five. [starry-eyed Steven gasps at Garnet] And two more potential futures where you suffer third-degree burns all over your body.

Steven

A high five... from Lars! [runs to him] Hi, Lars!

Lars

Criminy! Are you okay?! That coffee was really hot!

Garnet

I drink coffee for breakfast. [absorbs coffee with her body]

Steven

Eh-heheheheh... Funny!

Steven

[holding up a gemstone] It's a gem!

Young Ronaldo

This is the perfect clubhouse for the Beach City Explorer Club! [laughs]

Young Lars

Secret clubhouse, right, Ronnie? [makes mouth zipping motions] Zip!

Young Ronaldo

Lars, you're a riot! [gets startled by scraping noises] Dude!

Young Lars

[using a screwdriver to etch his name on the wall] Just carving our names in. Pretty metal, huh? [sticks the screwdriver into the wall, causing the whole place to rumble]

Young Ronaldo

Weird… [quickly snaps a photo of a wooden board springing outwards from the wall, knocking Young Lars away] Holy smokes! The clubhouse is possessed! [runs over to Lars and shows him the photo] Lars, Lars! When you turn on the TV tomorrow, this is what's gonna be on every station!

Young Lars

[nervously sweating] B-B-But— But you said this was secret.

Young Ronaldo

Our first paranormal discovery! We're gonna take on the world together!

Young Lars

Um… Let me just… Uh, I'll just, uh… [begins ripping the photo into pieces]

Young Ronaldo

[gasps in horror] No! What are you doing?! No-no-no-no-no-no!

Young Lars

I'm just tearing myself out.

Young Ronaldo

Stop! [grabs Lars and reaches for the remains of the photo] Let me… see! [yanks Lars' arm down and retrieves the torn photo] What'd you do? Ohh!

Young Lars

Oh, come on, Ronnie… You know I can't let people see me like that.

Young Ronaldo

What?! What's the matter with you?! [angrily shoves him] Don't you know how important this was?! [he and Young Lars begin wrestling; Young Lars steps on his foot and starts to run away] Why do you care so much about what other people think?!

Young Lars

[tearing up, angrily] You wouldn't say that if you knew what other people say about YOU!

Young Ronaldo

[after Young Lars runs away and disappears] Lars? [also disappears]

Steven

Okay, shh. I've got you. When you were stuck in the wall, was the house like your body? You must have felt like you were under attack back when Lars carved his name in you.

Ronaldo

Can I see that?

Steven

Uh, sorry. We should let it rest. [bubbles the gem and sends it away to The Burning Room in the temple]

Sadie

So, all that lashing out was just from feeling hurt and trapped for so long.

Lars

[talking about the photo] I didn't mean to rip it up, okay? [looks away] You can stop talking about me now.

Sadie

Please, Mom. Don't make me do this.

Make you? You said you wanted to sing.

Sadie

Yeah! I did! I did! I did, I did. Just like I say lots of things like, "Hey, Mom. Swimming looks fun", then bam! Suddenly, I'm anchoring a 400 meter relay for the Beach City Seals. "Hey, Mom. I thought signing up for softball would be nice." 6 birthdays later, I'm still getting nothing but kneepads and batting helmets. "Hey, Mom. I wanna sing at this year's Beachapalooza", and what do I get? THIS! I just thought, for once, I get to do things my way, but you came in and took over everything like you always do.

I just wanted everyone to know how talented my daughter is.

Sadie

THIS is not your daughter.

[stunned] I'm sorry.

Lars

[slowly getting up] Mmm… Huh? Sadie? [gasps in shock as he notices everyone looking at him] How did I get here?! [stands up, panicking] What are you all doing here?!

Sadie

Lars, don't get mad.

Lars

Huh?!

Sadie

But Steven really didn't mean to…

Lars

[furiously turns to Steven] You! What did you do?!

Steven

[nervously] I spent the day…with my mind…in your body.

Jenny

Whoa. Where's your chill?

Buck

Buck is no longer pleased.

I'm so sorry. He wasn't like this this morning.

Lars

I was acting weird all day and you all just LIKED IT?!

Please don't make a scene, Laramie.