Greg Universe quotes from Steven Universe

Greg

I could have tamed you, I could have shown

Greg

Bright sunny day don't cost nothing

Greg

I could never be

Greg

Huh? [spots him] Steven?

Greg

[they share a hug] Steven! My little man.

Greg

Hey, hey, it's OK, Schtu - ball. Your old man's perfectly fine.

Greg

[to the Zoomans] You're all very nice, and l'm flattered,

Greg

Whoa, hey, don't cry. You can choose someone else.

Greg

You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.

Steven

I know, Dad!

Greg

When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one showed up except—

Steven

An alligator!

Greg

No, it was your mother!

Steven

[laughs] I know!

Greg

And we were always together after that. Until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. [Steven's knee breaks a frame of Greg and a beautiful pink-haired woman] I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me.

Steven

[gasps] Uh, Dad? I broke a photo!

Greg

S'okay, buddy. If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hotdogs! [inside, a bright glow shines on Steven]

Steven

Huh? [sees a glowing pink cannon-shaped object] The light cannon!

Steven

[speaks to the cannon] Please work! Unlock! Activate! Go, please! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless! I know you can help!

Greg

It's okay, Steven! We'll figure out something else! Something even better.

Steven

R-r-right... If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs...

Pearl

It's working!

Pearl

Steven!

Amethyst

This is it!

Garnet

Brace yourselves!

Steven

Enough! No more cat fingers! I want Steven fingers!....And I don't mean little me heads on fingers, I mean my REGULAR fingers! Uggghhh! [a spot on his head turns into a cat, then his arm turns into a cat] Wha! Aahhh! Stop! [his foot turns into a cat] Amethyst! [various parts of his body turn into cats] Pearl!...Garnet! [gasp] Dad!

Greg

[hoses the ground while singing along to his headphone music and hears a bang] Hello? Who's there? [cat-covered Steven crawls in] We're closed,come back tomorooaaaah!!! [sprays Steven with hose]

Steven

Dad!

Greg

Huh? [sees Steven's face among the cats] Steven?

Steven

Dad! [starts tearing up] Help!,The cat fingers are taking over my body!

Greg

Hold on, I'll get you out of there! [a cat bites him and throws him to the side]

Steven

Bad! Bad cat fingers! [he steps in a puddle and the cats makes him jump to the roof]

Greg

Can't you make them go away?

Steven

I tried, but it made it worse! My life is over! I can't go on magic adventures! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never get to have another water fight with you dad! Because these things hate...water! They hate water! Dad, spray me again! [Greg sprays him and he jumps down, then, the cats run towards Greg]

Steven

The Gems were trying to tell me something about Mom's room... but I was so mad I didn't listen. They're always leaving me behind, and... I guess I wanted to do it to them too.

Greg

..That's not so bad. Everyone needs some alone time now and then. Belelelerow! [munches donut]

Steven

[chuckles] Yeah, i-it was really fun for a while. But now... the whole city, everyone and everything is acting really weird.

Greg

Well, the important thing is you told the truth.

Steven

..Yeah, I... guess I did...

Greg

Belelelerow! [munches donut]

Steven

Uh, Dad? Y-Your advice is making less sense than usual.

Greg

Well, the important thing is family and friendship, honesty, values and no one got arrested. Belelelerow! [munches donut]

Steven

Aah! I'm still in the room! All of this—it's all a fakearoo!!

Steven

Ahh... Forgot to ask Dad what kind of donuts he wants. Ugh... [walks back inside] Hey, Dad, I—

Greg

Olé! Steven! [a shocked Steven stares for a beat] Ha! You had me scared there, son. Didn't see you... standing in the doorway. Your old man's still got it! [Steven angrily stares at him] What, this? I guess I couldn't wait for those donuts.

Greg

Oh—oh, yeah! Ugh-ho-ho-hoh! [falls down] Ouch! [rolling] Ho-ho-ho-hoh...

Steven

Just stop, Dad. I get what's going on. Your leg isn't broken at all, is it? [Greg stands up]

Greg

It was broken, but you healed it back at the car wash.

Steven

You lied to me! Now I can't do it anymore!!

Greg

What?!

Steven

The Gems needed me to fix the broken rock, but my powers aren't working! It-it's because of you! You messed with my head!

Greg

No! I-I didn't mean to fo— I-I just wanted to live with my son again!

Steven

I really thought I was getting better. I finally felt like a Crystal Gem. [cries] Now, what if I can't do anything?

Greg

Steven, don't beat yourself up! This is my fault!

Steven

Yeah! Yeah, it is!

Greg

[via communications] "Hey, can you hear me?! Where do you two think you're going?!"

Steven

Hey, Dad! Guess where I am!

Greg

I know where you are—it's where you're going that concerns me!

Steven

Don't worry, Dad! This is just a quick test flight.

Pearl

This'll be perfectly fine, just a pop over to the nearest star system. I'll give him back in 50 years.

Steven

50 years?!

Greg

"WHAT!?! I'll be dead in 50 years!! Pearl, you bring him back right now or I'll—" [Pearl cuts him off] Hello?! Hello!?!

Steven

Pearl, I'm not supposed to go! Pearl!!

Pearl

Oh, this is so exciting! Steven, you're gonna love it. [plays keyboard keys to a discordant note, opening the ship's wings with eight engines] Hang on tight!

Steven

What was that? [the ship's alarm blares loudly as more parts of the ship fly away] Pearl?!

Pearl

We can make it! We're almost there! [the ship is starting to break apart]

Steven

Pearl!!

Pearl

I'm gonna show it to you...

Pearl

Steven! What are you doing?!

Steven

We need to go, Pearl! We're not gonna make it!

Pearl

But we're almost there! [sees a cluster of stars before Steven comes to her face to face]

Steven

Pearl! I know you miss space, and I know you worked hard! But sometimes... you just got to know when to bail.

Steven

Man, why did Connie have to say I have one mother instead of zero... or three?

Greg

We'll figure this thing out. We just have to put our heads together.

Steven

(gets an idea) Why didn't I think of this before? It's so obvious! You can all come to dinner -- all three of you, fused into ONE! (snaps finger)

Pearl

What?!

Amethyst

Whoa!

Greg

What?

Pearl

Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations!

Steven

It'd be like—like I'm actually bringing my whole family!

Amethyst

That's insane.

Garnet

Fusion is serious magic, not a trick for dinner parties.

Steven

I know. Then I guess this is it. I'll never get to see Connie again. Oh, Connie! I'll never know a star that shines as bright as you.

Garnet

(sighs) We have no choice.