Ronaldo quotes from Steven Universe

Ronaldo

Hey, Lars. Take it down a notch.

Ronaldo

[entering the lighthouse] You're ready for what I've found... the cause of Beach City's paranormal activity.

Steven

Wait, what?

Ronaldo

Welcome to my office. Go that way. [Steven walks in that direction] Welcome... to the truth.

Steven

"Snake People"?!

Ronaldo

Snake People, or "Sneeple", control our government at the highest level. Look. [shows a dollar bill] The snake represents their hold on our country. The diamond represents their underground mines, or their sharp teeth... th-the details aren't important. They pit us mammals against each other with elections, sports, and anime message boards. We spend so much time fighting over dubs or subs that we miss the big picture!

Steven

..What's that?

Ronaldo

That the world is under their control.

Steven

[on the balcony] Ronaldo?

Ronaldo

Steven! Did you see this crater? I think the Snake People might have left it as a sign.

Steven

Yeah... Uh, Ronaldo?

Ronaldo

[turns back] Yes, Steven?

Steven

Are you... totally sure about this Snake People thing?

Ronaldo

Steven, are you having doubts?

Steven

Not really just... doubts... I found out those weird holes in the cliff were 'cause of something me and the Gems did.

Ronaldo

Well, okay, but those red rocks—

Steven

That was us...

Ronaldo

But... the flowers!

Steven

Us too.

Ronaldo

But... but the truth!

Steven

Maybe the truth just isn't what you thought it was.

Ronaldo

Sure it is! Don't get so hung up on these minor facts! Truth is about more than that! Truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true! Truth is searching for anything that proves you're right no matter how small, and holding on to that, no matter what.

Steven

That kinda sounds like the opposite of truth.

Ronaldo

Look! The proof! This cast will show the true face of this conspiracy! [holds up cast which looks exactly like Steven] Oh, wha-huh?

Steven

That's probably from Steven Tag.

Ronaldo

What!?!

Steven

It's a game where... when I tag one of the Gems, they— [Ronaldo cuts him off]

Ronaldo

I'm really not at the center of anything... I'm nothing.

Ronaldo

[to Lars; coldly] It should have been you.

Lars

What?!

Ronaldo

It took her, but it should have been you, Lars!

Steven

Whoa! Hold on, Ronaldo.

Steven

[holding up a gemstone] It's a gem!

Young Ronaldo

This is the perfect clubhouse for the Beach City Explorer Club! [laughs]

Young Lars

Secret clubhouse, right, Ronnie? [makes mouth zipping motions] Zip!

Young Ronaldo

Lars, you're a riot! [gets startled by scraping noises] Dude!

Young Lars

[using a screwdriver to etch his name on the wall] Just carving our names in. Pretty metal, huh? [sticks the screwdriver into the wall, causing the whole place to rumble]

Young Ronaldo

Weird… [quickly snaps a photo of a wooden board springing outwards from the wall, knocking Young Lars away] Holy smokes! The clubhouse is possessed! [runs over to Lars and shows him the photo] Lars, Lars! When you turn on the TV tomorrow, this is what's gonna be on every station!

Young Lars

[nervously sweating] B-B-But— But you said this was secret.

Young Ronaldo

Our first paranormal discovery! We're gonna take on the world together!

Young Lars

Um… Let me just… Uh, I'll just, uh… [begins ripping the photo into pieces]

Young Ronaldo

[gasps in horror] No! What are you doing?! No-no-no-no-no-no!

Young Lars

I'm just tearing myself out.

Young Ronaldo

Stop! [grabs Lars and reaches for the remains of the photo] Let me… see! [yanks Lars' arm down and retrieves the torn photo] What'd you do? Ohh!

Young Lars

Oh, come on, Ronnie… You know I can't let people see me like that.

Young Ronaldo

What?! What's the matter with you?! [angrily shoves him] Don't you know how important this was?! [he and Young Lars begin wrestling; Young Lars steps on his foot and starts to run away] Why do you care so much about what other people think?!

Young Lars

[tearing up, angrily] You wouldn't say that if you knew what other people say about YOU!

Young Ronaldo

[after Young Lars runs away and disappears] Lars? [also disappears]

Steven

Okay, shh. I've got you. When you were stuck in the wall, was the house like your body? You must have felt like you were under attack back when Lars carved his name in you.

Ronaldo

Can I see that?

Steven

Uh, sorry. We should let it rest. [bubbles the gem and sends it away to The Burning Room in the temple]

Sadie

So, all that lashing out was just from feeling hurt and trapped for so long.

Lars

[talking about the photo] I didn't mean to rip it up, okay? [looks away] You can stop talking about me now.

Ronaldo

Oh! I see... You come up here to brood too!

Steven

Brood?

Ronaldo

Yes, Steven. That's just what people like us do. Suffer quietly, shouldering the knowledge no one else can bear.

Steven

Hm.

Ronaldo

As an aficionado of the weird yourself, you've probably noticed ordinary people fear the cold leaded anchor of the truth. The abyss is no Sunday swan ride.

Steven

I know! My dad flipped out when I told him!

Ronaldo

Sounds typical. But it's a good reminder. This is no easy path we've chosen here. There are... sacrifices. Look at them all down there, Steven. It's our duty to let those simple people live out their simple lives, without ever knowing the burden of being friends with us.

Steven

At least we can be there for each other.

Ronaldo

Is that giant hand from the sky sitting right in the middle of the beach?! I gotta get some of this for my blog!