Pearl quotes from Steven Universe

Pearl

Why do you have to look up to her, aside from in a literal sense?

Pearl

Humans just lead short, boring insignificant lives so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.

Pearl

All right, everything begins with your stance. Remember:

Pearl

I was fine with the men

Steven

You're back!

Amethyst

Hey, Steven, look at this! [pulls out small cackling skull]

Pearl

Whoa! What are you, crazy?! [knocks the skull out of Amethyst's hand and stomps it]

Steven

What the heck was that?!

Pearl

An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them.

Amethyst

They were after this. [takes out an hourglass from her fanny pack]

Steven

[entranced] Can I see that?

Amethyst

Yeah, sure.

Pearl

[interrupts] No! It’s extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home.

Steven

Garnet! Tell Pearl to let me see the thing! [Garnet puts finger to his lips]

Garnet

Shh...

Steven

Aw, man! I wanna come next time! I even wrote us a song. [takes out ukulele] It’s like: If you’re— W-wait, hold on. Hmm... [tunes ukulele, singing]

Steven

[with starry eyes] No way. I-It can't be! Wha-- Where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them!

Pearl

Well, we heard that too, and since they're your favorite...

Amethyst

We went out and stole a bunch!

Pearl

[grunts at Amethyst angrily] I went back and paid for them.

Garnet

The whole thing was my idea.

Amethyst

It was everyone's idea.

Garnet

Not really.

Pearl

All that matters is that Steven is happy.

Steven

[begins to rap] Oooohhh…!

Steven

I can't believe you did this. I’m gonna save these forever! Right after I eat this one. Hello, old friend. [bites into one] Oh, so good! [Steven's gem begins to glow] I like to eat the ears first.

Amethyst

Uh, Steven..?

Steven

Wha? My gem!

Amethyst

Quick! Try and summon your weapon!

Steven

I don’t know how! [panicking] Ah, it's fading! How do I make it come back?!

Pearl

Calm down, Steven. Breathe, don't force it.

Amethyst

Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.

Garnet

Please, don't. [Steven's gem glow fades away, collective sigh]

Steven

Ah, I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?

Steven

I think my best bet is to recreate what happened the last time my gem glowed. So, [points] Garnet and Amethyst were here. Pearl was next to the fridge. Hmm... Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed?

Amethyst

Okay, your Majesty. [crosses arms]

Steven

And Pearl, your foot was like this. [moves it at the angle it was]

Pearl

I don't think it works this way, Steven.

Steven

And Garnet— uhh... [mushes her face upward] Yeah.

Steven

Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat. Oh, wait! I sang the song first. Uh, he’s a frozen treat..all new taste..interstellar war, now available at Gertman's... Aw! It was funnier last time! [beat, sighs] Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.

Pearl

Don't be silly, Steven. Of course you are.

Amethyst

And you’re fun to have around, even if your gem is useless. [Pearl growls]...I mean, you’re one of us, Steven. We're not the Crystal Gems without you! [Garnet nods]

Steven

Yeah, even if I don't have powers, I still got... Cookie Cat! [takes a bite] Oh, so good. [Steven’s gem glows then summons his shield, collective gasp]

Pearl

Steven... it's a shield!

Steven

Oh-ho, what?! I get a shield?! Oh... YEAH!!

Steven

Huh? Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!!

Pearl

What's in these things?

Garnet

This is bad.

Pearl

[looks through telescope] Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big!

Amethyst

Garnet! Pearl! [runs to them carrying Steven]

Pearl

We saw. Some of us are trying to protect humanity! Where were you? [Amethyst puts Steven down]

Amethyst

..Eating fry bits.

Pearl

[facepalms] Ugh!

Steven

Can I see? [peers] Whoa...

Steven

It's a giant eyeball! Awesome!

Pearl

Not awesome! It's a Red Eye!

Steven

A Red Eye?! It's going to infect us all!

Garnet

That's pinkeye, Steven. [Amethyst laughs]

Pearl

It’s going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people! We have to stop it!

Steven

What are we going to do?

Garnet

The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a light cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.

Steven

My mom?

Amethyst

If Rose were here, this would be so easy.

Pearl

I know, but she's not. And the cannon is missing. We'll have to find another solution.

Steven

If it belonged to my mom, I bet my dad knows where it is. He can help us save the day! Ah? Eh?

Pearl

..Greg is... nice, Steven. But I doubt someone like Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.

Amethyst

Your dad is kinda a mess, Steven.

Pearl

Amethyst!

Amethyst

I'm just sayin'! Even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it, or lost it, or dropped it in the ocean somehow.

Garnet

True.

Steven

[speaks to the cannon] Please work! Unlock! Activate! Go, please! Everyone's counting on you, you can't just be useless! I know you can help!

Greg

It's okay, Steven! We'll figure out something else! Something even better.

Steven

R-r-right... If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hotdogs...

Pearl

It's working!

Pearl

Steven!

Amethyst

This is it!

Garnet

Brace yourselves!

Pearl

We fought a giant bird. We're only here for a second, we've got to go back out.

Steven

What? Why?

Pearl

Because we have to place this Moon Goddess Statue at the top of the Lunar Sea Spire before midnight. Without it, the whole place will fall apart. Oh Steven, you should have seen the spire in its heyday. It was an oasis for Gems on Earth. It's abandoned now, but we can still save it with this statue.

Steven

What? That's perfect!

Pearl

What? Why?

Steven

Because I can help carry it for you, in this! [takes backpack out of package]

Pearl

A hamburger?

Steven

It's a novelty backpack, shaped like a cheeseburger. Aww, I blew it. [puts the backpack over his shoulder] I was just going to wear it one day, and you guys would be like "Dang, Steven, that's so cool", but this is obviously important Gem business.

Pearl

Yes, so you should let us take care of it.

Steven

What? I'm a Gem! [lifts up shirt and points to gem]

Pearl

But you've still got a lot to learn.

Amethyst

So let him come! [waves hands] It'll be educational.

Pearl

Hmm, alright. [hands statue to Steven] You can carry it in your hamburger.

Steven

[gasps, then laughs] Mr. Queasy! [shakes the plush doll and laughs]

Ooh, I got a medical condition!

Steven

You're definitely gonna come in handy! [removes first aid kit and stuffs it in]

Pearl

Steeeven, let's gooo!

Steven

Coming! [walks down stairs and onto warp pad]

Pearl

What’s the matter Steven?

Steven

I wanted all of us to have breakfast together. So I made together breakfast, [points to breakfast] but everyone keeps leaving.

Pearl

[whilst leaving through door] Ah, that’s nice.

Steven

Oh no, not you too! I can’t let this become together brunch! [runs towards door and jams with arm, slips through]

Steven!

Steven

Ugh, [breakfast shakes] Together breakfast? [Breakfast transforms into a massive monster of its ingredients and wraps Steven in its syrup, Pearl spears it, which distracts it]

Pearl

It’s taken refuge in organic matter! [Monster hits Pearl and sticks her to the wall with a mix of whipped cream and syrup]

Garnet

Now it has all the power of a breakfast, we have to destroy it.

Pearl

[surrounded by whipped cream] Aah! It’s horrible!

Steven

I didn’t want this! I just wanted to eat together like, like best buds!

Garnet

[arm stuck in its mass] Steven, you’ve got to get away.

Steven

But my breakfast--! [Monster launches a giant waffle at both Garnet and Amethyst which smashes them against a wall]

Steven

That’s... enough! I... don’t care if you... are the most important meal of the day! [pushing the monster from the bottom, into the lava well] I made you to bring us together... not to tear us apart!

Pearl

Hey, Steven, have you seen a gem shard anywhere? It's very important.

Steven

No. Have you seen my pants? [in his underwear] They're also very important.

Pearl

I'm serious, Steven. [holds bubble] These shards have a powerful partial consciousness that has been harnessed by Gems throughout history in order to create...

Steven

[thinking] "They weren't in the kitchen either... under the bed! No, wait, I looked there too. And then Pearl walked in... [gasps] Pearl!"

Pearl

—obedience waned as the shards overdeveloped...

Steven

"Oh, jeez... she's really explaining something... [sighs] I can't just start listening now! I'd be lost... Just like my pants..."

Pearl

—could become a monster! That's why it's very, very important that it's kept away from any kind of garment.

Pearl

If you see it, bring it to me right away. I'm going to check in town! [leaves]

Steven

For my pants?! [long beat] ..I guess I'll keep looking here. [sees his self-sentient pants] That's unusual!!