Dr. Maheswaran quotes from Steven Universe

Dr. Maheswaran

[through answering service] You've reached Dr. Maheswaran. Please leave a message, and if you're one of my patients, you shouldn't have this number!

Steven

Where's this bus taking us?

Connie

Wherever we end up. We'll find a way to survive. I've been reading about sustainable living.

Steven

Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!

Connie

What's up with you and apples today?

Alexandrite

STEVE-E-E-N! [Steven and Connie scream; picks up the bus] You two, come out of that bus this instant!

Steven

Aah! Okay! J-just put the bus down first.

I don't even know where to begin with you, young la--

Pearl

What were you thinking, running off with Connie like that? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!

Garnet

Or gotten mangled in traffic.

Amethyst

Or thrown in prison.

Pearl

Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you.

Steven

But...

Garnet

No dinner for 1,000 years.

Steven

(sad expression) 1,000?

Pearl

We would never starve you, but you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.

Steven

No! The midseason pre-finale of "Under the Knife"! How can you do this to me?!

Greg

Because we love you, Steven.

Wow. That was a masterful use of the "because we love you" shutdown. I'm quite partial to the "It's for your own good!" myself.

That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit, was pretty funny. [laughs]

Garnet

All comedy is derived from fear.

[laughs] You are too much.

I did not know what to make of the two of- Excuse me, four of you, but I see that you are responsible parents. Uh, caregivers? Guardians.

Connie

So, I can still hang out with Steven?

Sure.

Steven

Alright!

[sighs] I had a rough day at work and I'm not in the mood for any more surprises.

Connie

What happened at work?

[takes off her jacket and hangs it on Rose's sword, mistaking it for a coat rack] There was a really strange case at the hospital today, straight out of a nightmare. [beat] Oh, don't worry, the rules of doctor-patient confidentiality keep me from sharing the graphic details, but... [realizing] Hang on a moment. When did we get a coat rack?

Connie

Oh, no...

[shocked] A SWORD?! Connie, where did you get this?!

Steven

I-it's—

Connie

I found it! I just... found it outside and I wanted to show it to Steven.

How could you possibly think this is okay?!

Connie

It's—

Do you know how many children I see everyday in the hospital who've cut their faces off playing with swords?!

Connie

I—

NONE!! Because they all have parents who love them, and who don't let them play around with deadly weapons like some kind of gang member! No playing with swords, under any circumstances! [her cell phone rings, answers it] This is Dr. Maheswaran. Yes, calm down, Stromberg. Another one?

Steven

[to Connie] Is she gonna give it back?

All right, I'll-I'll be right there. [zips sword in duffle bag] I have to go to the hospital. I'll have a talk with your father to calculate just how grounded you are. [leaves, comes back] And we're using the abacus! [leaves again]

Connie

I hate that abacus. Steven, I'm so sorry. She took your mother's sword!

Steven

Maybe we can get her to change her mind?

Connie

She never ever changes her mind. We've got to get that sword back ourselves.

Connie

Mom... I'm really sorry about lying to you. It started off as a tiny secret, and then I felt like if I didn't hide it, you wouldn't let me see Steven ever again.

Is that how you feel? Are we too controlling?

Connie

..Maybe.

I just wanted to be a good mother. I... I just wanted to protect you.

Connie

I can protect myself now! [Dr. Maheswaran pauses for a long beat, sighs]

Okay. [Connie winces] We'll... pull back on the rules, and I'll try to keep an open mind about [Connie's lenses] this, and [Lion] that, and... him. [Steven stays frightened] It scares me that you can't talk to me. I need to know what's happening in your life. I... I need to step in when you're in over your head. Would you just promise me you'll stop all this lying?

Connie

[beat] That's a rule. [they embrace each other]

I love you, honey.

Connie

I love you too, Mom.