[Squidward is at the Krusty Krab]
[comes in] I invented a game! I invented a game!
[doesn't want to know what the game is] Whoopee. Do tell.
Well, you know how hard "Tic-Tac-Toe" is and how it always takes so long to play?
Yeah! Well, I made it easier and faster!
[sighs] I know I'm gonna hate myself for saying this, but what do you got?
It's called "Tic-Tac"! [holds out a notebook] You start with four lines that are crossed. And then the first person puts an X. And then the next person puts an, uh... [thinks]
Oh, yeah! An O! And the first person to get four in a row draws a line through them and says, "Tic-Tac"!. [rips off the paper and laughs] You start!
[Squidward draws an X then Patrick draws an O. Squidward draws another X and draws a line through them]
Uh... [rips off another paper] Best two out of four?
[narrating time card] Many Tic-Tacs later...
[Squidward and Patrick had been playing "Tic-Tac" for a while. As they played one more time, Patrick becomes worried as Squidward draws in the notebook]
I should've gone with my first idea: "Tic."
[The X's, O's, and the writing of the Galley Grub starts disappearing before the scene changes to Squidward riding his recumbent bicycle. Patrick runs up to him]
Squidward, I got a new game! It's called "Rock, Paper, Butter"! [holds out a stick of butter melting in his hand]
Butter invent a different game! [laughs]
[Squidward rides away as Patrick eats the stick of butter and sulks sadly back home. The scene changes to Squidward watering his garden. Patrick shows up with two ropes. A long one and a short one]
Squidward, I got it! [throws the ropes on the ground] Whose Rope Is Longer? You... [Squidward picks up the long rope before Patrick finishes] You played this before!
Welcome, gamers! And behold! [thunderclaps] My game!
[Patrick's game board is made out of random board games and is shaped like Patrick himself]
[yawns] Are we finished? Who won? [Sandy, disgusted by Squidward's rude behavior, nudges him, much to Squidward's annoyance]
[laughs] No, my friend. We have only just begun.
What's it called, Patrick?
Might I suggest "Garbage"? [Sandy growls at Squidward] What?
Yeah, Patrick. What's it called?
[As Patrick thinks, Mini Brain Patrick pushes a light bulb out of his head and it lights up.]
It's called... "Patrick!!" [thunderclaps]
Could we just get started already? I'm late for my coma. [still annoyed by Squidward, Sandy zips Squidward's mouth shut]
Hey, Squidward, you finally understand the rules!
Oh, I get the rules alright. The rules are that it doesn't matter what anybody rolls! You can just make up whatever it means! [takes the dice and rolls them] So I could just roll the dice and say, "Automatic Winner!"
Good job, Squidward! You've won!
Huh? Oh, you know what, you're right. That was a good play.
Not so fast! [writes on his rule card] No player may declare himself "Automatic Winner."
You did it again. [becomes furious] You made up another rule! THIS GAME IS THE WORST! STUPID GAME! [Infuriated with Patrick's constant rules, he attacks Patrick. SpongeBob and Sandy run off while he grabs Patrick's game board and shakes it off of Patrick. Then he throws Patrick in the air and when Patrick landed, the game breaks in half. Squidward then puts a piece of the game board in his mouth and shakes his head like a dog. He stomps on it with both feet out of insane anger. However, the police arrives at the scene]
HSHighway Speed Patrol
Destruction to private property. [Patrick, who's visibly enraged at Squidward for destroying his game, writes on his rule card and gives it to the police. Squidward tries to walk away but Nancy O'Malley and the Highway Speed Patrol follow him] Oh, and I see here you are a repeat offender. You're going to real jail. [he and Nancy O'Malley grab Squidward and throw him in the police car]
Anything to get out of this game! Thanks, Officers! [however, the blue cellmate comes back inside the box]
BCBlue Cellmate
Welcome back!
Somebody say my name! [the police car drives away]
[appears on a game board box; to the viewers] GAME OVER!
[the episode ends]
