[jumps out of Gary's dream cloud and hops up onto his alarm clock to get into his own; sees Patrick's dream cloud outside the window] I wonder what Patrick's dreaming. [Patrick is stuck to the bottom of his rock, sucking his thumb and snoring. SpongeBob runs over] I can't resist! [laughs and jumps into the dream cloud. Inside, he opens a door to see Patrick rocking back and forth on a 25¢ kiddie ride amidst the blank, white scenery] Hey, Patrick!
PatrickHi, SpongeBob.
[walks over] You know, Patrick, this is a dream. You can do anything you want.
Patrick
Yup.
I mean anything! Watch. I can turn into a skyscraper. [transforms into the shape of a skyscraper] Going up! Eh? [sees that Patrick is unresponsive and frowns, then perks up again] I can make... [changes back to his normal shape and size, this time with a million copies of himself] A million of me! Eh? Eh?
Patrick
Yup. [the SpongeBob clones disappear]
Ah, tartar sauce. I'm going to a different dream. [leaves]
Patrick
Okay. Bye, SpongeBob. [kiddie ride comes to a halt; Patrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out another quarter and goes to put it in the slot, but accidentally drops it and it rolls away] Oh! [the quarter falls into a sewer grate] Shoot, that was my last quarter. [sits on the ride with a dull gaze]
[SpongeBob walks home into his own dream cloud where his real self is still sleeping]
Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud. [goes to sleep] Ah... [wakes up after hearing his friends voices and faces hovering around his head]
[his head starts circling SpongeBob] SpongeBob! [the heads of Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Gary, Plankton, Pearl and Patrick start surrounding SpongeBob]
HSHeads of SpongeBob's friends
SpongeBob!
[tossing and turning in his sleep] What do you want from me? Leave me alone! No, no... No, no, no, no, no, no! [Squidward nudged and tapped SpongeBob and he wakes up]
[screams, then sees his friends stand around his bed, except Patrick] Hey, what are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
[Scene now shows Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Gary, Plankton, and Pearl, who all look angry at SpongeBob.]
No. We are not having a slumber party!
Do us all a favor, SpongeBob, and stay out of our dreams!
AEAll except Patrick
[grumble in agreement]
Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Patrick
[walks in] Does anyone have a quarter? [all stare at Patrick]
Dr. Patrick, could you call Sandy for me? [gives Patrick the phone]
Patrick
Sure, patient SpongeBob! [Patrick calls Sandy, who is about to head out for SpongeBob's place] Hello, Sandy?
Patrick
I'm calling on behalf of my patient, SpongeBob.
I'm on my way over to take him to the hospital.
Patrick
Uhh, uhh, that will no longer be required! He is in my care as of today.
Well, I'm coming over to take a look. I'll be over there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot-
Patrick
Oh, yeah, yeah, the rabbit. Don't bother, Sandy! [hangs up] SpongeBob, quick, Sandy's coming! We gotta make sure you're well, or she'll take ya to the doctor! [runs to the kitchen with rubber gloves on and dips them into the sink of water] Don't touch me, I'm sterile!
Patrick, you open this door. [Patrick is rolling SpongeBob away] Patrick, sometimes I just don't understand you. [SpongeBob sneezes] Hey! [walks over to Patrick's house] Okay, Patrick, where's SpongeBob?
Patrick
Uhh, uhh, he's not here at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep. Beep.
Okay, now tell me, [shows two rocks] since when do you have two houses?
Patrick
Since I ran out of space to put my stuff.
Uh-huh, yeah. Since when does your house have feet? [SpongeBob's feet are sticking out of the other rock]
Patrick
This is my mobile home. [SpongeBob sneezes the rock off]
Patrick
[holding SpongeBob's hand] Hmmm, the dirt therapy seems to be working just fine.
Patrick, SpongeBob has to see a real doctor.
Patrick
No, he doesn't! I'm taking good care of him! Show her, SpongeBob! Say 'ahh'.
Ahh... [exhales a green gas that kills all the plants, clams, and everything else in its path]
See? He's even worse than I thought.
Patrick
[wearing a clothespin on his non-existing nose] What do you mean? He's fine. [Sandy snatches the clothespin off of his nose]
I'm okay, Sandy, really. [sneezes again, enlarging himself more]
I'm taking you to the doctor right now! [rolls SpongeBob away]
Patrick
Hey, that's my patient! [runs over and pushes SpongeBob the opposite way] You can't take him to the doctor's!
[rolling SpongeBob the other way again] Don't be silly, Patrick!
Patrick
[carrying SpongeBob the other way] He's mine! [Sandy is log rolling SpongeBob the opposite way]
SpongeBob, you'll be better soon. [Patrick is using a wheelbarrow for SpongeBob]
Patrick
I'll save you! [Sandy is using SpongeBob as a basketball]
I'm better, guys! Really! [Sandy and Patrick both push him into each other, squeezing him until he launches into the air]
Now look what you've done, Patrick!
Patrick
What I've done? Everything was fine until you showed up!
You should be arrested for impersonating a doctor!
Patrick
Hey! I'm a good doctor! Right, SpongeBob? [SpongeBob comes down and rolls away]
Patrick
SpongeBob?
I can't stop! [screams while he rolls down a hill] Help me! [Mr. Krabs is cleaning some dimes]
SpongeBob? [runs out the front doors] Stop, SpongeBob! Stop...!
[SpongeBob stops just in time. Mr. Krabs sighs in relief until SpongeBob sneezes so hard that he releases a cloud of pink bubbles that fill the screen and destroy the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs glares at SpongeBob, who returns to his normal size.]
Patrick
[finally turns around] Hi, Sandy! [notices the giant chocolate balloon, then is confused and speaks gibberish]
Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick! [Patrick jumps for joy and jumps on the balloon]
Patrick
Yay! My valentine! Hey, is this solid chocolate?
Patrick, no! [Patrick bites the balloon and chocolate explodes everywhere. SpongeBob and Patrick are in the mess and Patrick forgets his anger]
Patrick
Aw, SpongeBob... you didn't have to get me anything.
Wait, more impressions! A guy [angrily] throwing a piece of paper on the ground! [throws it on the ground] A guy stomping on the piece of paper [stomps on the paper, then picks it up and is upset] I'm a guy who traded everything he owns for a...
Patrick
[walks up to Squidward chewing gum] A worthless piece of paper. [grabs the paper] Hey, thanks, it's just what I needed, Squidward. [blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can. Then he walks away, towards SpongeBob's house] Nice shirt, SpongeBob. [laughs]
[The wind whistles.]
Anybody have any sunscreen? [The episode ends with a fade out to black.]
[SpongeBob and Patrick are stranded in Rock Bottom]
It sure is weird around here. Kind of different. Even the soil looks different. [scoops up a handful of soil]
SSoil
Would you [blows raspberry] mind [blows raspberry] putting me down? [SpongeBob shakes it off as he gasps]
Patrick
SpongeBob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart! [bathroom doors have the "?" on one door and the "¿" on the other]
Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know. [Incidental 200 comes out the "¿" door. Patrick gasps] Maybe we should wait for one more. [Incidental 214 comes out of the "?" door. Incidentals 222, 204, and 201 come out the "¿" door]
Patrick
I still can't read the sign! I wanna go home!
[After Sandy sings a song about returning to her home, Texas]
Patrick
Do you think she knows the muffin man song?
Patrick, she sang that song from her heart. She really misses Texas.
Patrick
Well, let's get some Texas and bring it down here.
Patrick, we can't-- [comes with an idea] That's it! Patrick, your genius is showing.
Patrick
[frantically covers himself] Where?
KNKing Neptune
Yours is superior. [bows to SpongeBob] Therefore I concede to you, SpongeBob SquarePants, you win. [The crowd cheers]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Yeah! [dancing] We're going to Atlantis! We're going to Atlantis!
[King Neptune laughs]
KNKing Neptune
You, SpongeBob. That repulsive thing in my palace?
You mean, Patrick can't come?
KNKing Neptune
[laughs] No, of course not.
KNKing Neptune
Ah, the only friend you need, my dear boy, is the royal grill.
Patrick
[crying and wiping his tears with a tissue] It was nice knowing you, buddy![Mr. Krabs cries]
[pats Mr. Krabs' claws] I know, Mr. Krabs, I'll miss you, too.
KNKing Neptune
[luggage appears next to SpongeBob] Come, SpongeBob, grab your things! It's time to depart to Atlantis! [a two-seater bike appears. He rings bell and pats SpongeBob's seat]
I don't wanna go! [cries]
KNKing Neptune
It's too late now. I can't live without your burgers! [grows giant] You're going to be a god and like it! [zaps SpongeBob and he becomes a muscular god. But being the same size, he looks a little strange] Maybe we do have a problem.
[in a booming voice] Wait, Neptune! I have another idea! [summons lightning]
[The scene cuts to the outside of the Krusty Krab. Patrick walks in the Krusty Krab, his face still on his bottom]
Patrick
Good morning, Krusty Krew.
Hi, Patrick. What'll you have?
Patrick
Uhhh... [drools stupidly]
[SpongeBob writes Patrick's order on the notepad. King Neptune screams, drawing SpongeBob's attention]
KNKing Neptune
The accursed stove has burnt my finger! Feel thine own wrath, stove! [uses his powers to zap the stove] Haha!
[in a stern voice] What did I tell you about using your powers, trainee?
KNKing Neptune
[sighs, then embarrassedly puts his arms behind his back] Uh... Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.
[SpongeBob smiles, ending the episode]
What did I tell ya about those hooks, boy?
Patrick
I'll tell ya about the hooks. You ride 'em up, and up, and up, then you gently float down.
And do ya know what happens when ya don't float back down?
Worse! Ya end up vacuum-packed, in a can of tuna! With nothin' to look forward to but the smell of mayonnaise!
I need a sailor's promise! Repeat after me: Yoho! Yoho! Near the hooks, I'll never go!
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Yoho! Yoho! Near the hooks, we'll never go.
[A hook comes down and pokes Mr. Krabs in the butt]
YOOOWIE! Mother of Pearl! Fire on the poop deck! [rubs his butt]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
Ahh! Mother of Pearl! Fire on the poop deck! [rub their butts]
Patrick
Hey SpongeBob, you're going the wrong way!
I always go to work this way.
Patrick
You're not going to work today, we're gonna go play Hooky!
But, Patrick, we promised.
Patrick
Well, I had my fingers crossed.
You don't have any fingers, Patrick.
Patrick
Well, that Mr. Krabs is just a big dummy! We played on those hooks all day long, and nothing happened to us!
Patrick
Look, SpongeBob. Are you gonna listen to a big dummy, or are you gonna listen to me?
[SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab]
Patrick
SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest. [walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with his feet] Well, I've gotta get to work.
Patrick
Okay, now... say it. [SpongeBob hesitates] Say it.
Patrick
SpongeBob, you're never going to feel better 'til you get this thing off your chest.
[has a purple alien-like leech sucking on his chest] I know, Patrick. [pulls it off and throws it aside]
Patrick
Say it. [SpongeBob still hesitates] Say it...
Patrick
You're ugly and what?
Patrick
No, proud.
Is that what he calls it?
[As we cut back to the pineapple rooftop]
[breathing heavily] That felt great! I feel empowered!
Patrick
So whaddya wanna do now?
I don't know. How about a movie?
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
