Take it, SpongeBob! Take it, please! And promise me no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry... don't give that paper back to me, EVER!
“The Paper” · Season 1
In this episode: Squidward (3), Abrasive SpongeBob (1), Patrick (1)
Well, you can't play music with a piece of paper. [plays 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' off-key. Little black musical note symbols fall out of the clarinet]
[applauding] Hooray! Hooray! That was great, Squidward. All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.
What? I didn't play any wrong notes. [plays the song off-key again]
Yeah, see, you're playing it like this... [plays his piece of paper as the clarinet with the note symbols coming out] ...When ordinarily it goes like this. [plays the song on-key] I'm partial to doing it in the key of A-minor myself. [plays the song in high notes. A music sheet appears] Ah, nothing like a duet between buddies, eh, Squidward?
Wait, more impressions! A guy [angrily] throwing a piece of paper on the ground! [throws it on the ground] A guy stomping on the piece of paper [stomps on the paper, then picks it up and is upset] I'm a guy who traded everything he owns for a...
[walks up to Squidward chewing gum] A worthless piece of paper. [grabs the paper] Hey, thanks, it's just what I needed, Squidward. [blows a gum bubble then puts the gum on the piece of paper and throws it behind him in the garbage can. Then he walks away, towards SpongeBob's house] Nice shirt, SpongeBob. [laughs]
[The wind whistles.]
Anybody have any sunscreen? [The episode ends with a fade out to black.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's SpongeBob SquarePants pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.