Eric Cartman quotes from South Park

Cartman

Parents? Parents? [begins a fake sob] OH GOD! [sobs loudly and turns away]

Cartman

Töten Sie die Juden! Wir können nicht stillstehen bis sie alle tot sind! [Kill all the Jews! We cannot stand still 'till all are dead!] Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready to do thy bidding, Mel Gibson.

Cartman

Aw, aw, no, come on, people, we're so close to completing my final solution!

Cartman

Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh, but you can suck my fat hairy balls!

Cartman

Whoa, pixie sticks, 29 cents! [slips into a trance] Wall-Mart? Are you speaking to me? ...My friends...trying to hurt you again? Yes Wall-Mart, I understand.

Cartman

[walks up to a group of girls and flips each one off in turn] Fuck you, Millie! Fuck you, Annie! Fuck you, Bebe! Fuck you, whatever-your-name-is! A-a-a-and Fuck you, bitch!

Cartman

They're not people! They're hippies!

Cartman

Did you eat their brownies? Did you eat their brownies?!

Cartman

Don't be sad, Butters: what awaits each person in heaven in eternal bliss, divine rest... and ten thousand dollars in cash.

Cartman

Goodbye, Butters, I must be going now. I'll be looking down on you from time to time. Have a long, fulfilling life Butters! Good-byeeeeeeeee...

Cartman

God only knows the horrors that go on at girls's slumber parties.

Cartman

[advising Butters] ...just roll with it if they start lezzing out.

Cartman

[after Kenny blows up the future-telling device with a mushroom cloud so large it can be seen from space] Damn, Ken!

Cartman

[to Kyle] Shut your goddamned daywalker mouth!

Cartman

The only way to fight hate is with even more hate!