Traditional Craftsman. Built in 1923. Greene and Greene were influenced by the English Arts and Crafts movement.
...
I love all of the stained glass.
Yeah, they're typical of these places. It's what they call Arts and Crafts houses.
Come here, I wanna show you somethin'. Sit. You won't be disappointed.
My God. That is awesome. What is that made with?
Hand painted with gold leaf. It's brilliant?
Yeah, it is. You're not kissing me back.
No. I'm sorry, I... I thought you were single. I didn't see a ring.
My gaydar's usually better.
I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.
You asked me to lie on a bed with you.
Right. To look at the ceiling.
I'm sorry. No, no worries, I...
I'm not looking for anything...
Your family and everything. You.
Didn't mean it as an insult.
No, I mean... Being called complicated feels... awesome. I'm gonna go.
No, it's okay. I'll just, Uber.
[Ian and Lip are in kitchen with Carl, Debbie, Liam and Kassidi]
[Appears from front door] Hey, can you believe that this guy today told me I was complicated?
ILIan, Lip, Carl, Debbie and Liam
Yes.
Well, you married that guy after, like, a week.
And you cheated on him with your car thief ex-boyfriend.
Who had several different names.
Almost married a heroin addict.
Hid my meth inside our dead mother's casket.
Didn't you also get fired from a job for fucking your boss' brother?
Testified against me to the military, fired me, stole my church.
Okay, I get it. I'm complicated. I'm gonna go walk my dog now. Well, I can keep going. Fuck you guys. At least Rusty loves me. [Leaves out backdoor]
PPastor
This poor child couldn't help himself once the devil got inside of him. Psalm 101:3 says, "I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do. I will have no part of it."
Romans 13:810 says, "Let no debt" remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."
PPastor
What is your name?
PPastor
Are you a homosexual, Ian?
PPastor
Would you like to come up to the altar and bring Jesus back into your life?
No. I'm... I'm good. See, I already got Jesus in my life.
PPastor
Corinthians 6:9-10 clearly states, "Neither the sexually immoral nor" male prostitutes nor homosexuals "will inherit the kingdom of God."
CCongregationalists
Amen.
Really? 'Cause Colossians 3:11-13 says, "Here there is no Jew or Gentile, barbarian, Scythian," slave nor free, but Christ "is all, and is in all."
PPastor
Corinthians 6:17-20, "Flee from sexual immorality." All the sins a person commits are outside of the body, "but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."
Galatians 5:14, "For the entire law" is fulfilled in keeping the command: "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
PPastor
The lust of the flesh comes not from the father, but from the world.
Woe to you, teachers of law and Pharisees, you hypocrites.
PPastor
You don't actually think you can win a Bible quoting contest with me.
PPastor
Are you the queer boyfriend?
No, I'm queer transgender ex-boyfriend, actually. But we'll probably start banging again soon. Hey, any of you queers sick of this bullshit wanna get out of here? We got this brick building over on Ashland. It's the one with all the gay rainbow flags.
LSLewis's father
Lewis! Get back here! Lewis! Get back here!
You wanna fight? I'll fight you, but you're gonna get your ass kicked by a homosexual. Let's go. [Holds up bible and walks to door] Fags, this way!
SSSteven's father
Steven you get over here, right now.
Fiona, your dog's been barking all fuckin' night.
Wasn't Rusty. He was with me at the apartment.
This is where we first made ramen noodles together.
What's with the... documentary?
Oh, I'm making a video scrapbook for my boo before he goes AWOL on me.
Kassidi's having some separation anxiety with me leaving to go back to the academy in a couple weeks. She wants to make sure I remember the goods I got back at home.
This is where you first went down on me.
Oh, place is turning into the fuckin' Super 8.
Yeah, that's why I've been sleeping at my building.
What, you haven't rented that apartment yet?
No, I will. Just... too many folks crashing here right now.
That's Toto. He's tied up outside.
Belongs to the hipster couple up the street. Got a job dog sitting.
Like 101 Dalmatians up in here.
Yeah, Toto sounds pissed, Debs.
Yeah, he gets barky sometimes. I can't figure out why. But they pay 40 bucks a day, and I need money for welding school tuition.
You and, uh, Trev boning again?
Definitely turning a corner.
Everybody's boning somebody but me?
Duran and I call it "besties with benefits."
[Scoffs] I hope you're all double-bagging. This place is already too crowded.
Burn this into your mind. Ready to take on Svetlana today?
Dominance is in my DNA. It was hibernating inside me like a baby bear. But now I'm woke. Mm. Grown and grizzly.
You wanna practice the rules again?
I'm a man, V. Men don't practice. We perform.
Svetlana is a professional ballbuster. You gotta come strong.
Oh, I'm gonna lay down the law at The Alibi. No more Mr. Nice Guy. There are new rules, there's a new attitude, and... I want to be called "sir." "Sir Kev." No, nah, just... just "sir." Maybe "Sir Ball"?
I want her wearing a uniform. One of those ugly grandma blouse that you tie up to the neck. I'm tired of her flashing her ta-tas all around.
From now on, your ta-tas will be the only ta-tas getting flashed. This bacon? It's not crispy enough. Do it again. Dominance. Boom.
You guys actually do wear those hats. I thought that was only in cartoons.
RRCMP officer
So you 'fugees come here, pick up some Invokana, Advair, EpiPens, smuggle it back.
Hey, we're servants of a just cause, huh? Health care in the States rapes the elderly and the poor. Our way's the only way some grandpa's not gonna keel over from leukemia before his 90th birthday. Or a kid in some tenement doesn't stop breathing after a peanut butter sandwich.
RRCMP officer
Lot of cash. How much were you planning to buy?
Well... what do you say you just drop us right up here, you hold on to the stash for some Tim Hortons? No harm, no foul.
RRCMP officer
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. I'm gonna pretend you didn't just attempt to bribe a member of Her Majesty's Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
How 'bout you pretend you didn't just arrest us? This poor homeless man needs asylum from the war-torn streets of Aleppo. The United States turned its back on him.
RRami
I'm a computational biologist at Loyola who overstayed my visa.
I'm soliciting empathy, Muhammad. Nobody likes a braggart.
RRami
It's Rami. Sounds nothing like Muhammad.
[The RCMP cruiser crashes into a moose knocking out both RCMP officers]
The fuck?! [Sticks head out of window to determine cause of accident] That, Mr. Computer Biology, was a gift from Allah. Let's go. Come on, come on, come on.
RRami
[Referring to officers] Wait. Are they dead?
New rule. No more of your ta-tas hanging out. This is a decent establishment. There will be a dress code.
[Veronica holds up modest shirt] This is shirt to bury Catholic nun in, huh? Not to sell drinks.
It's your new uniform. This will teach you a lesson that you don't fuck over the people you love.
[In Russian] Unless those people are stupid.
"Tupyye. Tupyye." You say that a lot. It means "stupid," right? [Grabs Svetlana's chin and turns her face to his] Well, here's a new new rule. You don't call us stupid anymore. [Svetlana jerks face away, grabs shirt, walks away and Kevin says to Veronica] Dominance. Boom.
[To Kevin and Veronica] I am looking for Svetlana Yevgenivna, pozhaluista.
Freelania Alexeyevich? [In Russian] Fuck, can not be.
I am blast from whoring past, no?
[In Russian] We go aside to talk.
Hey! No speaking Russian!
Five minutes and you're back unloading the liquor stock.
You helped to smuggle me into this country. Freelania Alexeyevich always repays her debts. You said you would drop dead before I could find anyone to turn me from whore to wife. I would like to see you die now, please.
Not true. You were always ugly bottom-feeder, only good for hand jobs.
Very true. It's too bad you are still... bitter prostitute slave working for poor people. If you weren't such a cunt, madam, you might be able to marry well too. $4,500 for 40 pounds of lube and vagina cleanse. Debt repaid. Now you are a "ugly bottom-feeder."
Break time's over. [Throws trash bag at Svetlana's feet]
[Svetlana follows Freelania outside who gets into a Bentley Contininental and drives away with Svetlana mouthing "bitch"]
...
Svetlana's been on that laptop all day. I don't trust it.
Think she's plotting revenge?
This is the same chick who offed her husband/father and no one's ever found the body.
Permission to take cigarette break, Sir... Ball?
...
How long Svetlana been on her break?
Feels like a long time, right?
Kev, this isn't good. I told you, she is plotting something against us. Some Russian chick comes in here yesterday, and ever since, Svetlana's been acting weird.
That's it. I'm gonna put a stop to this. Domination time. [He and Veronica walk up to Svetlana] All right, what's on the laptop?!
New rule: no personal business at work. Open the laptop.
New rule: show us what's on the laptop or get shipped to the gulag.
[In Russian] I'm not showing you shit.
Show us what's on the damn computer, or we're gonna call Immigration.
KVKevin and Veronica
Show us the fucking laptop!
Fine! [Turns around laptop] You want to see what I'm doing? I am looking up fact after fact about rich old fuck who's about to marry a bottom-rate whore who I helped smuggle into this country. She gets to have American dream, live life of beauty and privilege while I sit here and get shit on by two ex-lovers who still treat me like a prostitute slave, who make me wear a vampire blouse just to strip me of the last bit of dignity that I still have.
RRami
I need to rest. I think I busted my knee.
It's not swollen enough to be busted. It's probably just bruised. And men on the battlefield don't let something like a little busted knee stop them. You want freedom? It doesn't come with R&R. Freedom means arms severed and legs blown off. Every soldier has the scars of battle.
RRami
We're not soldiers! We're fugitives. My wife and I just had a son. I was planning on getting settled in Montreal and then sending for them. And what if I die out here tonight and never see them again?
Well, if you died, you'd have the respect of your son. He'd be able to say that his dad did everything to give him a better life.
You may be an asshole and a know-it-all and a pain in the ass, but you're a hero to your family.
RRami
Thank you, Scout Master.
It's Frank. All right, you get some rest. I'll take the first watch.
[Ian is pinpointing locations on a map]
My God... You're, still at it.
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out where all the gayhating churches are. There's like one in every neighborhood.
Homophobia's back in style.
And for you, my sweet, hot bitch... I found it.
[Holds up necklace with a vial] What is it? Is that blood? Is that your blood?
Yeah. It's your blood now. You possess me, and vice versa. [Brings Carl to sink with a kitchen knife] Here. Come here. I'll try not to nick an artery.
[Fiona is painting walls in apartment]
It's called "Dangerous Robot." I'm doing the bathroom in Liquid Kitty.
What happened to just "blue"?
Well, neither is Liquid Kitty, it sounds like a dyke bar. Why don't you just paint it "Wet Pussy"?
Benjamin Moore didn't have that one. It took me forever to choose. What is my taste, even?
That's by necessity, not choice. Well, you're asking the wrong gal. Mel handles this shit.
And her style's like... resort meets brothel.
That's perfect for a nursery. You guys start picking out cribs?
Crib, singular. We're down a fetus. I miscarried.
It's okay. I mean, yeah, it sucks, but we hadn't figured we'd both get pregnant.
[Reading off phone] "Sassy Russian exprostitute" seeks single geriatric male with piles of money and a terminal illness."
Guy named Gerald seems interested. Luxury cigar importer.
[To Svetlana] Hey, guess what we're doing.
I can find my own rich husband.
We know that you can, but if a wealthy cigar importer comes into The Alibi tonight, it won't kill you to smile and have a drink.
What is the point of smiling?
Make other people feel good.
I make people feel good other ways.
Yes, you do. But there are some situations where hand jobs are not appropriate. [Svetlana walks away unimpressed]
