So, what are you working on next?
FordI'm just going to a house over on Franklin. Owner saw some work I did on a Marion Mahony Griffin house.
Ford
One of the world's first female architects. Born in Chicago.-
Ford
You never heard of her.
Ford
She worked with Frank Lloyd Wright.
Ford
He stole most of her designs.
Ford
You ever seen any of his buildings?
I don't know. I don't think so.
Ford
They're all over the South Side.
Really? I thought there was just a bunch of crack houses down here.
Ford
No. Some amazing historical buildings in this area.
Ford
It's one of the reasons I moved to Chicago. Do you wanna see some of them?
Ford
This is one of my favorite buildings in the city.
Ford
One of the first residential highrise buildings ever built.
No shit. I've walked past here a thousand times.
Ford
Built as luxury apartments for the Chicago Exhibition in the '30s.
I know a guy who got his face shot off in here.
Ford
Arched windows. It's Romanesque revival. Look at the ornamental cornice.
I would look at it if I knew what a cornice was.
Ford
Up the top, there. Come here. See all that extraordinary masonry work and detail? It's remarkable.
You mean the little ribbon things?
Ford
It's polychromatic brick façade on top of beautiful stone.
Looks kinda like a castle.
Ford
Yeah.
...
This is the Frank Lloyd Wright thing?
Ford
Built for the Robie family. And the planters are supposed to break the inside out so it divides.
...
Ford
And we're under a bridge. And now everyday places...
Ford
Traditional Craftsman. Built in 1923. Greene and Greene were influenced by the English Arts and Crafts movement.
...
I love all of the stained glass.
Ford
Yeah, they're typical of these places. It's what they call Arts and Crafts houses.
Ford
Come here, I wanna show you somethin'. Sit. You won't be disappointed.
Ford
Look up.
My God. That is awesome. What is that made with?
Ford
Hand painted with gold leaf. It's brilliant?
Yeah, it is. You're not kissing me back.
Ford
I'm sorry.
No. I'm sorry, I... I thought you were single. I didn't see a ring.
Ford
I am single.
My gaydar's usually better.
Ford
I'm not gay.
Ford
I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression.
You asked me to lie on a bed with you.
Ford
Right. To look at the ceiling.
I'm sorry. No, no worries, I...
Ford
I'm not looking for anything...
Ford
Complicated.
Ford
Your family and everything. You.
Ford
You're complicated.
Ford
Didn't mean it as an insult.
No, I mean... Being called complicated feels... awesome. I'm gonna go.
Ford
I'll drive you back.
No, it's okay. I'll just, Uber.
[Fiona and Ford are walking through warehouse of antique furniture]
Ford
American midcentury modern.
Ford
Reference to the Danish design movement of the 1950s. [Fiona laughs] Try it.
Ford
Hmm-mmm
Ford
Says who? You get to choose that. That's what design is for. Decide who you want to be. [Attractive saleswoman walks up to Ford with him and her conversing in Greek and she walks away] Thank you.
Ford
Greek. I lived in a monastery in Macedonia for a while.
Ford
And I just scored you a $2,000 chair for 450, which is insane.
I'm not gonna spend $450 on a chair.
Ford
It's not a chair. It's an investment in your future self.
I look like a fucking First Lady.
Here. Go cross your legs and pretend to be captivated.
Smokey to Bobcat. Do you hear me? Over.
We're trying to get Svetlana married off to a rich dude.
Ford
So... you just gave 'em your place, just like that?
What else was I supposed to do? Man, I was really digging my quiet mornings away from Gallagher chaos. And it's extra bad right now 'cause of Ian's gay messiah shit.
Ford
He should read Pope Leo the 13th's encyclical on property rights.
Ford
You know, whiskey is actually clear when it comes off the still. It gets the caramel color from the barrel...
You know, I'm just... I'm just gonna say this. Sometimes it feels like it doesn't even matter that I'm sitting here. I know all the places you've lived. I know all the languages you speak. I've met your exes, your baby mamas, your spawn. And yet, you have never asked one question about me. Did you know that I became legal guardian of my siblings when I was 23? Or that I dropped out of high school, but then I got back and I got my GED?
Ford
Yes, actually, I did. And I know you did it to convince your genius brother who's a recovering alcoholic to stay in college. I know you got left at the altar by your junkie fiancé with whom you were very much in love.
Ford
'Cause I ask around. There's some other stuff I know. You're fiercely protective of your family. You're generous. Like today, for example, you gave your apartment to a homeless family.
You are so very much yourself. You don't even have to try. And frankly, you scare the fuckin' shit out of me.
...
[Gerald walks over to Svetlana at wall] It's him. It's him. Svet, Svet. The buzzard is in the tuba. The buzzard is in the tuba.
I have no idea. I've never done this before. What's she saying? I can't hear anything. I can't hear anything. We never tested the microphone.
All right, well, she needs to relax. Tell her to lean in a little.
Svetlana, lean in a little. Too far. Too Far. Too far. Too far. Take a sip of your drink. Sip, not gulp.
Tell her to- to ask him about something.
All right. All right. All right, Svet. Ask him about his mother. No, not his mother. Ask him about his favorite sports teams. Allergies... What the hell do people talk about on dates? Did she just drop her earpiece in her drink? Oh, no. [Svetlana nears her hand to Gerald's crotch] She's gonna grab his cock, isn't she? [Svetlana moves hand all the way in] Called that one.
I always fantasized about having enough money to stock up on toilet paper.
Ford
Lofty goals.
Hey, when I was a kid, we had to use whatever we could find. Christmas napkins, paperbacks, coffee filters.
Ford
You don't answer it?
No. Got boxes to unpack. I've got a bathroom to clean. I clean it every week.
Ford
It's not that dirty, is it? Ever look behind the toilet?
No, and I never plan on doing so.
Ford
Uh-huh.
Come back tomorrow with an "I Voted" sticker, and you get free nachos.
TTyesha
You're going to hell.
It's the way of the world, Tyesha. Every vote can be bought. Some votes are just cheaper than others.
TTyesha
You don't think giving away nachos for the Hispanic guy is maybe a tiny bit racist?
Ruiz is from Puerto Rico. Nachos are from Mexico. Hey, Jorge. You registered to vote?
You want to come in a little later tomorrow, have time to get your family and friends to the polls for Ruiz?
JJorge
I'm not voting for Ruiz.
TTyesha
Hey. Some handsome Irish dude out here waiting for you.
Ford
Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh, we'll hit Pilsen. Then we'll go over to Logan Square.
Ford
[Sighs] The son of an Irish socialist helping a capitalist convince the immigrant masses to vote against their own interests. James Connolly would be spinning in his grave.
Ford
James Connolly.
[before flashback scenes] No, absolutely not. We're not gonna be showing you a recap of last week because you were too busy. Get the hell out of here. All right, all right, stop your whining. Fine, here you go.
How do you listen to this crap?
Ford
This is indie folk country.
It's like if a bad hipster band smacked into a truck of cows.
Ford
Well, switch it if you want.
[Tooling on a tablet] Isn't your code your birthday?
Ford
Put it in the American why or the right way?
Ford
There. Irish, even. Little on the nose.
Ford
You know, U2 is the band most made love to in all of Ireland.
Oh, well, you're in America now, bitch.
[Fiona wakes up, uses Ford's tools to scratch her arm in a cast and gets into shower]
[Pulls open curtains and turns off water] We need our money back.
What the fuck?! What money?!
We've been giving you money for utilities that have not been getting paid. We need that money back.
[Sighs] Fine. Jesus! [Close curtains and turns water on]
The bills are under my name now. That water you're using? We're paying for that. [Fiona scoffs] So, until you repay us what we've been paying you for the last three months, plus your share of rent for the last three months, plus what it cost for me to get shit turned back on, I don't really feel like sharing my water with you.
Yeah, I'll tell you what... you take everything that I owe you from the last three months and subtract it from everything that you owe me for the last years. And when I've used all of the water that I am entitled to some time in, I don't know, then we can talk about who's even. [Shuts curtain and turns water on]
...
[Lip appears in jogging attire] What are you wearing?
Oh, Tami's mom died of cancer, so her family does a five-K thing every year.
You look sort of ridiculous.
Everybody looks ridiculous in running shorts.
Debbie! Turn my water on!
Hey, did you turn the water off on her?
Deb, she carried us for years... You can give her a break. Turn the water back on!
Once you pay us what you owe us.
I'm gonna get it to you. I just lost track... [Ford pounds on front door]
You owe Carl, Lip, and I; $832.
You don't see Carl going up to my shower, turning my water off!
[Ford continues poundings on front door]
If you had the month I had, you would have lost track, too.
[Mockingly] Ooh, my Irish boyfriend left me.
Go take a flying fuck on a rolling doughnut!
Go take a rolling fuck on a flying doughnut!
Ford
[Lets himself in house] Hello? I come in peace.
[Debbie grabs a knife and walks to Ford]
Ford
I just want my tools back.
Ford
My carpenter tools. They're missing.
Well, why would I know about that?
Ford
Come on, Fiona.
What, you think I just wandered on to your site and picked them up out of your truck or something?
Ford
Maybe.
Or maybe I came into your house in the middle of the night and I watched you sleep for an hour and then I just took them on my way out.
Ford
[Scoffs softly] Do you have them or not?
No. [Laughs] You egotistical fuck! I haven't thought about you in weeks!
We thought about you, though.
Ford
Guess I'll be going, then.
[Ford walks to his truck and Fiona follows] Yeah. Damn straight you'll be going, 'cause next time, I won't stop them from beating the shit out of you!
Ford
If my tools happen to turn up, let me know. That's how I make my living.
Oh, if they "happen to"... fuck you!
Ford
I'm on a completion deadline, so I don't have time to fuck around, Fiona. Just tell me how much you want for the tools.
Ford
Five hundred. A thousand.
Ford
I'll give you $1,500, if you give them to me right now. I know you could use the money.
[Chuckles] I don't need... [Starts throwing dishes with food at Ford]
Little help, please? Get out of here, Ford. Get her some water.
I don't need anything from you!
Ford
I want my tools, Fiona.
Ford
I want them.
Hey, you just got your cast off. How about some free coffee...
For any customers who felt that their safety was compromised? So sorry about that, everyone. So sorry.
I can't fucking believe...
MMan
[Squeezing between Fiona and wall bumping her] Oh, excuse me.
No. Did you just fucking touch my ass?! [She lunges at him knocking him to the ground]
Hey, Fiona! Come on! Fiona!
I fucking felt you! I felt you do it!
AAllan
[Manhandling Fiona] Let's go! Fiona, come on! Let's go!
MMan
What is wrong with you?! Get off of me! Stop!
Li- Lilli? How about if we get this guy a couple of free burgers if he promises not to sue? I'm so sorry. So sorry, you guys. It's all good. Enjoy your meals.
Shameless · 903 quotes
