[Greeting woman at dorm door] Hey, I'm here to escort you to a world of pleasure. [Enters room filled with young men] Oh, uh, hey. What's up, fellas? No offense, but the Rapewalker doesn't do gangbangs. I mean, you could be fucking a chick, but if you're getting off surrounded by a bunch of dudes, that's pretty gay.
TrevorThanks, Michelle. You can go now. [She leaves room]
Her leaving did not make this feel less gay. Her leaving did not make this feel less gay.
Trevor
So you're the Rapewalker. Word's getting around that you're a real... gentleman with the coeds. Walking them home. Making sure they cum before you do.
Well, it's important to treat a girl right.
Trevor
Well, it's kind of fucking things up for the rest of us! I mean, if you want to treat a girl right, go get a wife!
You're right. But I already have one. [Shows picture of Veronica on phone]
Trevor
Damn, that's your wife?!
Trevor
Smoking hot, huh? Wow, dude. Look at that. Fuck. Those tits real? Oh, man.
None of your fucking business.
Trevor
Why would you leave that?
It's so simple in your 20s because you fall in love, you make bank when your girl posts videos of herself masturbating online. But then one day, you wake up, the bills are piled up, babies crying in your face. Everything's just so fucking hard. And the one thing that was easy, her, it's the hardest of all.
Trevor
Yeah, but she's really hot. She bad in the sack or something?
She can do more with the flick of her tongue than girls here can do gyrating their entire bodies. [He starts jerking his head back with widening eyes that seems to say; now-you-see-what-a-condescending-schmuck-you-are?] That's what happens when you marry the best. No matter how many girls there are, they're still not V. Hey, thank you, man! This was a great talk!
Trevor
I love this.
Trevor
Playing house. You told me about your big, chaotic family, but this is more like a romantic breakfast for two.
I know, it's kind of weird around here lately, especially with Carl being gone. Kind of miss the chaos. And the weaponry.
Trevor
Hey, bud. Hey.
Lookin' sharp, man. Look at that. Yeah? [Knocking on side door with Ian opening to let in Frank]
Hey, hey, smells good in here. Aw, come on. Jesus, come on!
I got Liam into private school. That doesn't buy me breakfast?
Trevor
Do you mind if I take this one?
Trevor
Okay.
Trevor
You were stealing from homeless people, Frank! You were pretending to be their father and their guardian and then you turned them into slave labor for your own personal indulgence!
Trevor
You're lucky you're still alive, because no one would have...
Trevor
Blamed them for beating you to death and burying the body. So no, you don't get breakfast.
Okay, let go of the door before I hurt you, Frank.
I... stop. I was their fake father. I'm your real father and I'm not gonna let go of the door until you let go of the door.
Trevor
Really?
Come... would you... Come on.
You've been warned, Frank. I'm gonna count to three. One...
Hey, Liam, would you get me a blanket?
Get me a blanket. Yeah. And some of that bacon. Get me... [Ian sprays him and closes the door] Ah fuck! What happened to three? You said, "I'm gonna count to three"! Shit!
Trevor
As advertised.
Trevor
[Wake to phone and glances at Ian's phone] Anyone important? Someone named "Answer at Your Own Risk."
Trevor
Didn't even know you had a mom.
Haven't talked to her in months.
Trevor
What's she like?
Unmedicated. Bipolar. Drug addict.
Trevor
My kind of gal. Kidding. Are you gonna text her?
Um... Later. You can't just dive into Monica. You got to dip your toe in slowly.
Trevor
Should we, um, invite her to the Backend tonight? Could be a hoot.
Trevor
I am charming. Parents love me.
I don't know. Um... Monica's brand of crazy can be kind of terrifying sometimes.
Trevor
I don't scare easy.
Trevor
[Walking down street with Ian] And I don't know where she's at with her meds, so... if it turns into a total shit show... I'll still want to bang you. Probably more. [Sees sign; "Closed for private event"]What? They can't close down the entire place for one party. Fuck...
Uh, we can hit that cowboy car that we passed down the street.
Trevor
No, they card.
Trevor
It's all slimy queens jacking off into urinals anyway.
Then don't use the bathroom, all right? Hey. I'm paying. One drink, then we'll, I don't know, go grab food somewhere else.
Trevor
I'm not going to a place where they fucking card at the door, okay?
My God. You're so... You're gorgeous! I made a gorgeous man. And here's his gorgeous friend. Hi.
Trevor
Yeah, pleasure.
Shit. Well, I went by a cowboy bar.
No, Trevor won't go there 'cause they card. Are you underage?
Trevor
No.
Trevor
Yes.
Trevor
Fuck no.
You are underage! Why wouldn't you just get a fake ID like everybody else?
Trevor
I'm not fucking underage.
Trevor
No.
Trevor
No.
Okay, if he doesn't want to show you, he doesn't have to show you, hon. Forget it. Come on.
Trevor
It's an old license.
Trevor
Pre-transition.
You're trans? I couldn't tell.
Trevor
Thanks. They make you show proof of gender confirmation surgery, so let's all gawk at the freak show, yeah?
Trevor
You want to see prom pictures too? That's too bad. I was in the hospital with my wrist bandaged that night. I forgot to bring my camera.
I didn't ask for prom pictures.
Trevor
How about ballet pictures?
I was just giving you shit, dick wad.
No, stop the name-calling, okay? It's getting crazy here. Ian just gets a little wound up, just like his mom.
No, why are you here now?
See, this is what she does. She just parachutes into your life like, "Hi, I'm here now." As if nothing happened.
That's... I'm... I'm so sorry. [Stammers]
You know, I could've used a mom when I broke my collar bone at 12. Or when I got my heart smashed for the first time.
Trevor
She apologized. Move on.
Okay. Ian, come on. Dude, I'm sorry. Come on, babe. Ian, come on. Ian, I just got here. [Ian walks away]
PPastor
Leviticus 20:13 says, "If a man also lie with mankind" as he lieth with a woman, both of them "have committed an abomination."
CCongregationalists
Praise the Lord.
PPastor
But we are here today to give sweet Tammy a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the Lord and return back to her flock.
Are you fuckin' kidding me?
PPastor
Matthew 18 says we must confront the sinner and give him a chance to repent. So, I ask you in front of your family, Tammy, do you want to be cured of the homosexuality disease and go back to being a normal girl again?
Trevor
Jesus.
PPastor
Do you want God back in your life, Tammy?
PPastor
He can't hear you, Tammy. Do you want God back in your life?
PPastor
Then let us now close our eyes and raise our palms to Tammy so that we may light the path for this lost lamb to find her way back to the kingdom of heaven where she can become the beautiful, feminine woman with long hair that she was put on this Earth to be.
CCongregationalists
Amen.
I'm gonna beat the fuck out of this guy.
Trevor
Come on, let's get out of here.
PPastor
This poor child couldn't help himself once the devil got inside of him. Psalm 101:3 says, "I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do. I will have no part of it."
Romans 13:810 says, "Let no debt" remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."
PPastor
What is your name?
PPastor
Are you a homosexual, Ian?
PPastor
Would you like to come up to the altar and bring Jesus back into your life?
No. I'm... I'm good. See, I already got Jesus in my life.
PPastor
Corinthians 6:9-10 clearly states, "Neither the sexually immoral nor" male prostitutes nor homosexuals "will inherit the kingdom of God."
CCongregationalists
Amen.
Really? 'Cause Colossians 3:11-13 says, "Here there is no Jew or Gentile, barbarian, Scythian," slave nor free, but Christ "is all, and is in all."
PPastor
Corinthians 6:17-20, "Flee from sexual immorality." All the sins a person commits are outside of the body, "but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."
Galatians 5:14, "For the entire law" is fulfilled in keeping the command: "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
PPastor
The lust of the flesh comes not from the father, but from the world.
Woe to you, teachers of law and Pharisees, you hypocrites.
PPastor
You don't actually think you can win a Bible quoting contest with me.
Trevor
He does.
PPastor
Are you the queer boyfriend?
Trevor
No, I'm queer transgender ex-boyfriend, actually. But we'll probably start banging again soon. Hey, any of you queers sick of this bullshit wanna get out of here? We got this brick building over on Ashland. It's the one with all the gay rainbow flags.
LSLewis's father
Lewis! Get back here! Lewis! Get back here!
You wanna fight? I'll fight you, but you're gonna get your ass kicked by a homosexual. Let's go. [Holds up bible and walks to door] Fags, this way!
SSSteven's father
Steven you get over here, right now.
Shameless · 903 quotes
