HMr. Healey
[Mandy knocks on door] Come in. [Mandy enters room] Oh, surprised to see you at the college counseling center, Miss Milkovich.
Came to talk to you about Lip.
HMr. Healey
I'm not at liberty to discuss another student, but I'd be more than happy to help you with your future options.
[Scoffs] please. You and I both know my only options are getting pregnant or getting arrested, so cut the crap.
HMr. Healey
Okay. Then Lip. He's got a good chance of getting out of here.
And what are you doing about it?
HMr. Healey
Encouraging him to go to college. Doesn't seem to be too interested.
You're a guidance counselor. Fucking guide him.
HMr. Healey
There's only so much I can do.
HMr. Healey
Keeping his grades up. Getting teacher recommendations, finding himself a legitimate job, filling out his college applications. Now, you think you can help with any of that?
HMr. Healey
All right, stop by at the end of the day, I'll post some college brochures, you can take them with you. I think you have a better chance of getting through to him than I did, Lysistrata.
HMr. Healey
Show up for English once in a while, And you'll get the reference.
[Walks up to construction site foreman] Hey, uh, 'scuse me. What happened to all the meth heads squatting in here?
GGeorge
Who the hell are you?
Concerned neighborhood citizen.
GGeorge
Took me six months to get rid of 'em.
Yeah, I heard there were dead bodies in there too.
GGeorge
Yeah. Four, yeah. Coyotes got to 'em at one point. Gonna take me eight weeks to make it livable again.
Hey, how much you paying these guys?
Might have a better deal for you.
I'll tell you this. For all of their laziness and lack of motivation, the Mexicans are a lovely people.
Why'd you go down there, Frank? Hey, I'll take another, Kev.
Sometimes a man just has to get away, be alone with his thoughts.
[Kevin slides bottle to Tommy and Frank intercepts it, uncaps and takes a sip with Tommy snatching it from Frank, wiping the bottle top on his shirt] Hey! Jesus. So what, you woke up from a drunken stupor, ddidn't know where you were?
I knew exactly where I was. Had a business opportunity With our south-of-the-border brothers. What did you do to your foot?
It fell off. Was the only prosthetic I could afford.
What kind of business opportunity?
I was hired to move some inventory.
Only the best the Mexicanos have ever seen.
Not something you really want to be bragging about, Frank. Which end did it go in?
Tommy! Hey, you still got that garage?
Yeah, it kinda comes with the house, Frank.
Great. What say you let me sleep there?
Because the last time you stayed at my place, you shit in my kitchen sink.
The layout of your home is very confusing.
No, Frank. No means no. [Holds up middle finger]
Fuck you, Tommy. Fuck you means fuck you.
You can't stay with me, Frank.
Wh--what if I suck your dick?
Frank. What if you immigrate to Mexico, Frank? Reverse the prevailing tide.
Why are you even here? Should be collecting disability. 'cause I didn't injure my foot at work. Hey, let me crash at your place. I'll tell the insurance company that you did.
Why can't you stay at your place, Frank?
Ungrateful little shits! That's why. Things I do for them. Blood, sweat, and tears. [Phone rings at bar] This is not how a family treats each other.
[Answers phone] Yeah. Hang on. [Hands phone to Kevin] It's for you. V.
Hey, baby, what's going on? What? No, yeah, okay. Okay, I'll be right there. Watch the bar. [Walks away]
Little redheaded bitch is the worst of 'em. Expect it from the others, but not from- not from- from... Her- Debbie. Orphan Annie turned on me. That's how I got all these bruises. She hit me. With a bat. Now, I can't touch her. No. That is child abuse. I'd get reported. [Has an epiphany and makes call hiding behind coffee maker] Operator, can you connect me with child welfare ser- services? Yes, hello. I would like to report, uh... a- a negligence situation. 2119 North Wallace. Gallagher. Six kids living in squalor. No parental supervision. When the father is there, he's drunk. He hits them. Not--n-not that they don't deserve it. They're all criminals, delinquents, vio- what? No, if it's all right, I would like to remain anonymous. No, thank you. And God bless you.
[Listening nearby] That is an all-time low. Even for you, Frank.
Five, six, seven, eight... $900? That's all I have left?
MMeg
That's not bad for your first gig.
But that doesn't even cover my deposit. I lost $100 doing this night.
MMeg
Surprised you didn't lose more. It took me, like, eight gigs before I saw a profit. You gotta pay your dues.
[Arrives at house to meet Veronica on front steps] Hey. What's going on?
Can I sleep here tonight?
Sure. [Veronica goes in house]
It's gonna take a while till I start making money. Here. Almost all of it. I'll get the rest, I promise.
Fiona What?
Well, if you're gonna gamble our money, you should hold onto it, right?
[Scoffs] I was trying to better our situation, Lip.
Oh, congratulations. You risked everything, and you didn't even break even.
It was my first time doing this.
That's not the point. You made a decision without consulting the rest of us.
I'm in charge of this family.
Really? No, sorry, that's- that's news to me. [Mandy appears from front door and leans on porch railings] You see, Fiona, if we're gonna be every man for himself, this family is going under fast.
Here, just take the money, okay? Pay the property tax. I'll get the rest tomorrow somehow.
I took care of the situation myself.
Told a bunch of North Side kids that Wilco was playing at your party. It's like I said. The only way to make money when you're poor is to steal it or scam it , like Don King or Joe Kennedy. But hey, um, let me know if the rules are changing, right, And you're gonna pull this shit again? Maybe I'll have to take over the family money, huh? [He goes in house with Mandy]
Cancer? How did I get cancer?
You must have caught it from Grammy, son.
If she had known that she had the contagious kind, I don't think she would've spent so much time with you in the basement, cooking meth.
I hope not. But right now we have to fight and fight hard. You ready to fight with me, Carl? [Starts buzzin Carl's hair]
Why do we have to shave it?
Didn't you ever see any shows about cancer? Cancer people are always bald.
Grammy hated life. She wanted to die, but you love life. And one of the most important ways you can fight the cancer is to let the sunrays in through your skull.
Why are you shaving Carl's head?
Since when do you... parent?
Since you dropped the ball.
The vermin were literally jumping off his scalp.
Well, make sure you wash the sheets too, okay?
No, Fiona is not going to freak out, because Fiona is not going to know. You're a man now, Carl. The cancer makes you a man. And as a man, it's your job to keep secrets from the women who love you.
Jeez, I'm gonna look like a penis.
I'll get you a hat. I'll get you a hat.
[Frank is at the Make-A-Wish Foundation administrations office]
You said you catered to dying children!
MWMake-A-Wish Administrator
Sir, the Bulls only give us so many packages per season and it takes months.
[Frank puts hand on Carl's back] Ow! What the fuck, Frank?!
That's going on all day, every day! My son is suffering! Have you no soul?!
MWMake-A-Wish Administrator
If you fill out an application now, I can almost guarantee that for next year-
MWMake-A-Wish Administrator
[Hands Frank a brochure] There's a camp. All the spots are full, but there's a quadriplegic. He won't get much out of it. I can bump him for Carl.
Camp?! Like summer camp?!
MWMake-A-Wish Administrator
It's beautiful, on a lake, a wonderful place for children to feel normal one last time.
What the hell am I supposed to do with a trip to cancer camp?!
[Snatches brochure from Frank] I've never been to camp!
[knocks at Blake's front door and she appears] You Blake?
You're moving now, Blake. You're moving tonight.
I don't excuse you, you sick bitch. I don't excuse you 'cause you're hot or 'cause you're blonde or 'cause of what you've got between your legs. Come take a look. [Mandy leads Blake to two men digging a rectangular hole] You see that? They're digging your grave. And you want to be gone before they get down to six feet. How's it going, boys?
MMen
Good. We dug the Berlanti grave in what, two hours? But this dirt is nice and soft, going a lot faster.
[Holding Debbie underwater in bathroom tub to practice for swimming] Stay down. Stay down! Stay. Stay.
Not long enough. You need at least 90 seconds. City pools are filled with city kids, and by "city kids" I mean black kids who swim. Little stereotype-breakers, like those two kids that ripped your bathing suit last year.
They were turning it into a bikini.
If they'll do that when you're just running through the sprinklers at your own house, think what they'll do when they have a large body of water at their disposal. Savage little Cosby kids will drown your ass. Times have changed. Yeah, that's what they said when they were holding me underwater repeatedly in the summer of '67, the so-called summer of love. Not at the Sullivan street pool, it wasn't. It was the summer of drowning whitey. And until you can hold your breath longer than they can hold their breath, you're not going to Sullivan Street.
[Kevin and Veronica are making love]
Oh, my god, you are so unbelievably tasty right now.
[Giggles] Don't wait for me.
What, are you charging by the minute, madam v?
Well, thank you for watching my wallet, you dirty little whore.
I am a dirty little whore. Put me on my back, would you, please?
Oh, hello. Oh, you've been working on your kegels. Oh. Oh, you're flexing it. Oh, you're flexing, Oh, you're flexing that. Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
You want me to finish you off?
I'm good, hon. We got to save your sperm for baby-making.
This was a baby-making session?
Yeah, it just- I just wish you had given me a heads-up before I went with the whole whore thing. You know, I don't want our kid's first impression of you to be that you're a whore.
It was making you hot. Hot is good. We got to help your spermies rocket to my egg.
Well, just don't be upside-down too long. My sperm get dizzy.
