A character in Regular Show
Played by Sam Marin
Regular Show · 562 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Regular Show: in 88 of its 562 quotes
Most scenes with: Rigby Riggerson (52), Mordecai (52), Benson Dunwoody (38)
Muscle ManYeah, baby. Go ahead. You can't make it from there. Oh! Oh! Brick!
Ugh!
Muscle ManOh, snap. Hey, Mordecai, you're looking a little confused. Did you know that we only need one more point to win?
Huh
[In the hospital ward, Rigby is comatose due a severe egg allergy. Benson turns to Mordecai and chastises him in a negative tone]
Well, I hope you've learned something from all this.
[becoming skeptical] What?
Maybe if you'd been working like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened. [Disgusted by Benson's halfheartedness, Mordecai immediately punches him in the face in a rage, making Benson stagger back in surprised. Pops and Hi-Five Ghost hold him away from Mordecai, while Skips and Muscle Man do the same with Mordecai] Mordecai, what are you doing?!
[outraged] WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK! HE JUST WANTED THE HAT!
And look where it got him! [angrily points at Rigby] Your friend over there is only gonna get you into trouble!
Huh! Yeah, right! Take advice from Benson about friends since you've got so many of 'em.
[stoically] I have friends.
No, you don't. Everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss! Rigby only wanted to try and win a hat. He doesn't deserve to be in a coma because of it. [he storms past Benson to the exit]
Where are you going?!
Back to the restaurant.
Why?!
Because I made a promise to Rigby and I'm gonna keep it. That's what friends do for each other.
[He furiously exits and slams the ward door behind him. The group stays silent for a beat]
Muscle ManAwkward...
Muscle ManGood, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
Muscle ManWhat? Why not?
We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
Muscle ManPssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
Lawn bowling!
Muscle ManUgh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
Oh.
Muscle ManWhat?
Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
(the scene cuts to the Lottery Plaza) Muscle Man, wait!
Muscle ManWhat is it?
There's something we need to tell you. The lottery ticket... it's fake. We wanted to get back for pranking us.
It just got out of hand! We're sorry.
Muscle ManIt's okay, I'm not mad.
Really?
Muscle ManNope. ( He suddenly becomes enraged) I’M FURIOUS!!! (Mordecai and Rigby gasp, then Muscle Man furiously shoves Mordecai and Rigby into the ticket checker and then catapults it over a wall)
Muscle ManI already got mine. I could die right now with no regrets. You guys are going to have to take this to your graves. Just wishing you got to taste this Himalayan ketchup. [eats his burger]
Oh, my! I can taste the Himalayas! [Laughs as Mordecai and Rigby moan]
Mordecai, I can't take this anymore! I wanna change my name back! Could you please just be a pal and lend me 50 bucks?
50 bucks? I dunno.. What do you think, Muscle Man?
Muscle ManI don't think you should do it. I like Trash Boat WAY better than Rigby anyways. It's way easier to make fun of. [gaping his wolf tattoo belly] Isn't that right, Trash Boat?
Muscle ManRigbaby, repeat lessons one and two.
Lesson one... is stay calm. Lesson two... is be cool.
Muscle ManStay cool.
Yeah, stay cool.
Muscle ManAlright. Forget those two lessons!
WHAT!!?
Muscle ManLesson three is the only lesson that matters. Lesson three... is never quit. You say it.
Never quit.
Muscle ManWhat?
Never quit!
Muscle ManI'm sorry, did you say something, Rigbaby?
I said never quit!!
[Muscle Man starts on the mower at high volume]
Muscle ManI CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!
NEVER QUIT!!
Muscle ManYOU SOUND LIKE A QUIET LITTLE QUITTER!!!
NEVER QUIT!!!
Muscle ManI'M GONNA YANK THIS CORD JUST LIKE YOUR MOM YANKED THAT PACIFIER OUT OF YOUR LITTLE BABY MOUTH!!!!
NEVER QUIT!!!!!
Muscle ManWe're here today because my dad put a cactus under a cop in a bear costume, who turned out to be an actual bear. [starts freaking out, wreaks havoc]
Muscle Man! [runs with Rigby to comfort him] It's okay, it's okay!
Muscle ManYou're right! You're right! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm okay. My dad might not have been the best pranker in the world... but he was the best trucker in the world. And that hat was his crown. That's why this urn is filled with the ashes of his hat. As the ultimate Father's Day tribute, I'm gonna help my dad fulfil his final wish by spreading the ashes of his hat at the Trucker Hall of Fame.
Guys, I'd like you to go with Muscle Man to help him spread those hat ashes.
What? Why can't Hi-Five Ghost go with him?
Hi-Five Ghost doesn't deal well with this sort of thing. [cuts to Fives outside the window crying]
Okay, we'll go with him.
Thanks. Just make sure to watch after him. If Muscle Man can't spread those hat ashes and get some closure, he may never be the same again.
Muscle Man[twirling suit, chugs soda on the couch] WOO-HOO!! WOO!! [chucks soda at the wall, runs off] WOOO!!!
Muscle Man[reads] "Son, if you're reading this, you punched my face and freaked out in the field by the rest stop where I faked that picture. I'm sorry for pranking you all these years..."
[...]
[writing on his forklift] "...especially about being a trucker. The world is a harsh place, and I only did it to toughen you up for when I'm gone. Now you know the truth — you aren't a Muscle Boy anymore."
Muscle Dad! We need those loads now!
Yes, sir! Right away!
And take off that hat! You ain't worthy of it. [they leave, Muscle Dad takes off his hat and continues writing]
"So please, drive to the highest point of the Trucker Hall of Fame, and spread my hat ashes over those stuck-up jerks. It's my final prank from beyond the grave. But if you hate me too much to do it, I understand."
[Muscle Man laughs as he straps Mordecai's bed to the ceiling]
Muscle ManI can't wait to see the look on Mordecai's face when he finds his bed on the ceiling. He'll be like, "Oh, no! Where am I gonna sleep tonight?"! [he and Hi-5 Ghost laugh] Best prank ever! [high five each other]
[Pops runs in playing with a red balloon, laughing]
I've got you this time, balloon!
[crying]
Muscle ManOh, no, bro! [Pops sobs loudly. Benson and the others come]
Pops! [Skips removes the bed from a severely injured Pops] Call the ambulance, now! It's gonna be okay, Pops. [Mordecai goes to call the hospital while the others try to comfort Pops as he continues sobbing in pain. Muscle Man looks upset and guilty]
[they ambulance people carry a groaning Pops on a ]
He should be fine in a few days. But he's defiantly lucky to be alive. That bed could've killed him. [his line "killed him" echos 3 times in Muscle Man's mind]
Muscle ManPops, Pops! Pops, I'm so sorry, bro! It was an accident!
Oh, no worries. I'll be quite alright.
Muscle ManNo, Pops, I almost killed you all because of my stupid prank!
[Enters Muscle Man's Trailer] Muscle Man, the rival park is pranking us again. We need you!
Muscle ManYou got the wrong man, I don't do that anymore.
But we're getting destroyed!
Muscle ManMaybe I didn't make myself clear. I don't prank anymore.
I can't believe this! You're just gonna let them destroy the park?!
Muscle Man[Stands up and points at Benson] Whoa! Back up, bro! I almost killed a man. A park, that's just land. You can replace that any day of the week, but a man's life, that's forever.
But the park i--
Muscle ManIt's over, Benson. I'm done.
[Sighs] Thanks for nothing.
As you guys may or may not know, it's Pops' birthday tomorrow. I was planning on getting him something nice from the arts and crafts fair last Saturday, but... nothing really stood out. Has anybody gotten him anything yet?
Muscle Man[beat] No.
Why am I not surprised? [pulls cap off of marker] Ideas? Anybody?
Muscle ManHow about one of them Jeff Forgeman grills?
That's actually not a bad idea, but Pops has been watching his cholesterol. Doctor's orders. What else?
How about we get him some new gardening tools?
Well, maybe. It's just, he gets new gardening tools all the time.
What about some horseback riding lessons?
Please tell me you're joking.
Well, no. Isn't he into that?
Don't you remember? That's the exact same gift we got him last year.
Pshh!
Don't "pshh" me! I don't hear you coming up with anything.
Yeah, but at least I didn't say the same thing that we got him last year!
That's right. I'm the son of universe renowned gaming champion Garrett Bobby Ferguson, Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.!
Is this just because we beat your dad's universe record?
No, it's because you blew him up! You think you can just go around exploding people's dads?
But that wasn't our fault.
Yeah. It was just a side effect for getting schooled so hard.
Silence! Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr. was a kind, loving father, with a heart as big as his head, and he's gone because of you.
Muscle ManGood one, dudes.
Muscle ManThe park.
Our home.
(sheds a tear) All is lost.
Thomas, stop thinking about things and bring us the coffee already! (turns to Garrett Bobby Ferguson Sr.) Kid's worthless am I right?
(Thomas yells and throws coffee at Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr.'s face. Enraged, he kicks Thomas off the freeway)
Thomas!!
(as Thomas falls to the ground, Gary's car swoops off after him, with Benson and Rigby still on the back. Pops, Skips and Mordecai watch over the edge)
Hmm, alright, gather round, gather round now. (the villains gather) We'll just tear this thing up and get this war back on. MINIONS! BEHOLD!!! (holds up a crude drawing of him, thinking it's the contract)
(with a British accent) Uh, is that a drawing of you with a butt for a face??
Huh?! A fake?
Hey, losers!
(Gary's car floats up from below the freeway. Thomas is clinging from the edge of the trunk)
Should have checked the fine print when we switched the contract in front of yo' face! know what I'm sayin'?
NO!!!!!!
(Thomas signs the last missing spot and the paper glows yellow around his name. The contract takes off into mid air and flies to the portal, closing it. The freeway begins to crumble and crack as the villains fly back to where they came from, followed closely by the bits of destroyed freeway and unless they can hold on, the park workers, too. The Fergusons stand on the last remaining piece of freeway as terror reigns around them)
Junior! You just broke the universe record for disappointing your father! AUUUUUGH! (explodes)
(falls to his knees) NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! (explodes)
Rigby RiggersonWilliam Salyers · 322 quotes
MordecaiJ. G. Quintel · 310 quotes
Benson DunwoodySam Marin · 195 quotes
Pops MaellardSam Marin · 58 quotes
SkipsMark Hamill · 53 quotes
Eileen Roberts-RiggersonMinty Lewis · 42 quotes
Hi-Five GhostJ. G. Quintel · 23 quotes
Margaret SmithJanie Haddad-Tompkins · 23 quotes
C.JLinda Cardellini · 11 quotes
TThomas8 quotes
DRDon RiggersonJulian Dean · 7 quotes
ShermEddie Pepitone · 7 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
