C.J quotes from Regular Show

C.J.

This is way cooler than a mix tape.

Rigby

Ugh! Who made this garbage?

Mordecai

Dude, we did!

Rigby

Oh, yeah. I knew we should've used more zebra.

Eileen

This is terrible! I can't turn this in!

C.J.

I thought you guys knew everything about music videos.

Rigby

Yeah! Watching them, not making them!

Mordecai

Eileen, I hate to say this, but you probably gonna fail.

Eileen

I-I've never failed a class in my life!

Rigby

Eh, it gets easier after the first few times.

Mordecai

Sorry, Eileen.

Rigby

Yeah, sorry we messed this up for you.

C.J.

Well, there's still an hour left. We can re-edit it?

Eileen

Re-editing this isn't gonna make it work. Ugh! Think, Eileen. Think! [Flashback to what Mr. Murphy told her, back to present] There's only one way I can make this work-- Eileen's way!

He kept running and running.

Hilary

And he shoots the ball into the other team's basket!

Hilary

[laughs] Oh, memories. I've been collecting them, you know, C.J.

C.J.

Yeah. [playfully elbows Mordecai] I'm collecting a few interesting ones myself.

Hilary

No, I mean on tape. It's called "Mordy Moments." [the words echo into Mordecai's head; Flashback… she holds a cassette reading "Mordy Moments" while Mordecai, William, Uncle Steve, and Aunt Maxine are all sitting on the couch] Okay. Who's ready for some "Mordy Moments?" [inserts the cassette into the VCR and sits on the couch with her family]

C.J.

[turning dark grey with anger] HOW DID I MISS THAT SHOT?! [angrily throws the putter out of the golf course, breaking someone's windshield] It was so easy!

Mordecai

Whoa, whoa, CJ. No need to get upset.

Rigby

It's just mini golf.

Eileen

Is something the matter?

C.J.

I can't help taking mini golf seriously. It kinda runs in the family. [sighs] My dad is Carl Putter.

Mordecai

Whoa, Carl Putter? The world champion mini-golf pro?

Eileen

That explains so much.

Rigby

Wait, so your last name is Putter?

C.J.

No, that's just his mini-golf name. Look, it's not something I really like to talk about. Growing up with a mini golf legend as your dad, well… it can be pretty tough.

Okay. Let me get a "honk-honk" in here 'cause you goosed (guessed) it!

It's time to announce the winner of the City College Modern Dance Competition. [pigeon flies by to give the man an envelope] Now, I don't want to "pigeon-hold" anyone, but first place today goes to Eileen Roberts with the dance "Chewed Gum"!

To say you blew away the competition wouldn't be Ostrich (a stretch)! [Eileen squeals/screams again] Let's see how well you dance after a year of sitting in front of your very own flat screen TV!

Eileen

[joyous squeal] This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Flat-screen! Flat-screen!

Thanks for coming everyone and for all of you losers today, don't Rooster (Brewster) on your laurels 'cuz there's always next year!

Joanne

[off-screen] I knew it!

Eileen

Joanne! I thought you were at the beach!

Joanne

I was at the beach, until I realized something like this might happen! How could I enjoy the surf and sun knowing you could be here, messing with my TV?

Eileen

I'm sorry! I didn't think it-- [gasps as Joanne smacks the remote of her hand]

Joanne

[to Eileen; threateningly] Next time, that remote will be your face. To clarify, next time I'll slap your face.

Rigby

I didn't even make that up, that's exactly what happened.

C.J.

Okay. [puts the snowglobe back in its place] So, I guess we shouldn't touch any of Joanne's stuff.

Rigby

Yeah, I think we'd just put the flat-screen on the wall over here, it'll be cool.

Mordecai

[looks closely at Joanne's TV] I can't believe she still has one of these junky old Hanatronics. This must be first generation it's so old.

Rigby

I told you, she's a beast. Her TV's probably too scared to die on her.

[gets out of the limo, angrily] Joanne, what have you done?!

Joanne

Grandpa Hanatronic, I can explain!

Mordecai

Wait, is your last name "Hanatronic?"

Joanne

Uh, yeah, hello? Joanne Hanatronic, heir to the Hanatronic Television Dynasty?

C.J.

[to Rigby] Did you know that was her name?

Rigby

[shrugs] I just thought it was a weird coincidence.

Mordecai

(imagining Margaret and CJ meeting each other at the Christmas party): CJ, this is Margaret. My girlfriend. (the ground gives way beneath him) I mean, my ex-girlfriend. (the hole gets deeper) I mean, a girl I kissed a bunch in the past who's my friend. (the hole gets even deeper) Should I stop talking now? (Screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups)

CJ

[disgusted] I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai!

Margaret

[also disgusted] Yeah, way to make things weird!

Mordecai

(screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Mordecai

(In reality) NO!!

CJ

Where do we turn off next, Eileen?

Eileen

(while looking in her bag) Hold on, let me check the directions! (finds some trail mix) Trail Mix? Oh no! This is my recreation bag! I left the directions in my school bag by mistake!

Rigby

(Takes the trail mix from Eileen) Wump-wump! (eats the trail mix)

Mordecai

[gasps when he looks out and sees CJ on the ground, looking devastated] Uh, I can't be here, I-I gotta hang with CJ. [takes off his seat belt and stands up] CJ, hi! [the chopper jerks, making him lose balance and fall on Margaret's lap]

CJ

[furiously annoyed] Oh, come on! [turns grey] Did you think I wouldn't find out, that you could just make a fool of me forever?! [turns into a full on storm cloud and flies up towards the chopper] This is the LAST TIME!

Mordecai

[interrupting] Muscle Dad is right! Finding the right person is hard. You know, for a while, I've been telling myself there's no such thing as soul mates, but now I'm not so sure. Look at Muscle Man and Starla. [pans to the couple as they look at each other] It's like they were designed for each other. [cuts to Mordecai with the wedding crowd in front of him] So where's my soul mate? Are they in this room? It could be anyone. [points towards Quips and Monica] Maybe it's you. [points at an old lady] Maybe it's that really old lady, I don't know!

Benson

[whispers angrily] Why are you talking?!

Mordecai

Oh, uh, right. My point is, I...

Mordecai

[stammers] I don't know if there's one perfect person out there for me, but I know that for a long time, I've been ignoring my gut. [cut to CJ, who’s look of shock turns into a glare] Because I didn't wanna hurt anyone, but instead of saving their feelings, it's just made everyone around me miserable. For the first time, I'm gonna take Rigby's advice. [walks over to CJ] CJ, I need to tell you--

CJ

[stands up in an embarrassed manner] Mordecai, just stop! I already know what you're gonna say, so save it.

Mordecai

I--

CJ

(tears welling) You don't know who your soul mate is?

CJ

(sighs) Here. (She hands him the charm bracelet from "Real Date") You didn't even point in my direction.

Mordecai

CJ!

Muscle Man

[angry] Yo, Mordo, if you're finished hijacking my wedding, is it okay if we get married now?

Starla

[angry] The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can start up these fryers!

Mordecai

Oh, uh, sorry. (runs off)