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58 QUOTES

A character in Regular Show

Pops Maellard quotes from Regular Show

Played by Sam Marin · 58 quotes · page 1 of 4

Pops Maellard

Played by Sam Marin

Regular Show · 562 quotes

5th most-quoted character in Regular Show: in 58 of its 562 quotes
Most scenes with: Rigby Riggerson (43), Mordecai (36), Benson Dunwoody (34)

Lines by Pops Maellard 2

Pops

Oh, it sounded like a gown of meat!

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Pops

Oh...my head.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Scenes with Pops Maellard 56

Pops

Let's see what's in the newspaper. "Ambassador from Lolliland visits the united states for the first time." [The camera zooms in to a picture of Pops] I say good show, very good show. [A waiter walks to Pops] I say why the handsome chap in the newspaper don't you think?

[The newspaper shows Pops and Pops chuckles]

WWaiter

Uh, sure. I'll be back in a second for the check.

[Pops folds the newspaper and looks at the check]

Pops

Let's see here I think, 25 percent tip, yes, jolly good show, jolly good show deserves jolly good tip I always say.

[Pops puts some lollipops in the bill]

WWaiter

Can I get you any change, sir?

Pops

No, no, it's all for you my good man, top notch service.

WWaiter

Wow, thanks sir, very generous of you.

Pops

Oh, well, good day young man.

[Pops walks away and the waiter opens the bill to see lollipops in there]

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

(Everybody gets up; the park is ruined)

Did you win?

(coughs)

I think you win.

(sighs) It doesn't matter. I wasn't able to hold on to the chair anyways.

Pops

Look!

(half of the chair is still left)

MRMordecai and Rigby

Aww, cool!

No, you don't. You're not getting that chair. But here's what you DO get. You get to flip that cart back over, you're throwing that chair away, and then you're cleaning up this whole MESS!! Pops, you're coming with me. And you two idiots, if this isn't cleaned up when I get back, YOU'RE FIRED!!!

[Benson walks into the house with Pops and Skips]

Rock-paper-scissors for who gets to drive the cart?

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

What is all this junk?

Don't get mad at me guys, but I kind of sent a bunch of stuff to the moon while you guys were in the house.

(Flashback)

A bunch of baby ducks, send 'em to the moon. Soda machine that doesn't work, send it to the moon.

(End of flashback)

You drillbit! What else did you send?!

(monster growling)

Pops

Look there's Skips! There he is!

Oh great, it had to be a monster.

What is that?!

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Whoa... Time to take this baby for a test drive. (screams and lands outside)

(Rigby looks around, and sees Muscle Man rolling a wheelbarrow with Hi Five Ghost behind him.)

(screams and runs up to them, and throws out his punch beam at them. It hits Muscle Man and Hi Five so hard it sends them flying)

(hits walls, cracking it) Oh no, bro!

(Screen shows Pops flying a kite)

(Rigby runs up and throws a punch beam at Pops, sending him flying into the sun)

Pops

WOOOAAAAAOOOOAOAAAOOOAH! (flies toward the sun)

(Skips is fixing a lawnmover. Rigby comes up and punches Skips. Skips breaks through the shed and skids the grass, knocking over a trash can, a tree, a lamp post, a bench, and another lamp post.)

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

There's that chocolate cake at the snack bar!

Yeah...but Benson will only let you have it for free if it's your birthday.

Who's to say it's not my birthday?

...Who's to say it's not my birthday?

MRMordecai and Rigby

FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!!

It's neither of your birthdays.

Aw, man! He's killing us with that.

MRMordecai and Rigby

No cake....no cake....

Pops

{appears from inside the bushes} But it is Skips' birthday!

MRMordecai and Rigby

FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!!

But he's really private about it.

MRMordecai and Rigby

No cake....no cake....

Come to think of it, I don't think we've ever had a party for Skips.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

You guys know what to do, right?

MRMordecai and Rigby

Yeah.

(to the unicorns) Hey, Rigby, weren't we supposed to race some unicorns and not a bunch of losers?!

UUnicorns

(Shouting all at once) BROS!! BROS!! BROS!!

Pops

Horseless carriages...

UUnicorns

(Chanting "Bros")

Pops

Commence!

(The unicorns race off into the distance while chanting "Bros")

This is how you get rid of unicorns.

(Skips presses a button that forms a ramp on the ground, shooting the unicorns up into the sky, still chanting "Bros")

But what if they come back?

They ain't coming back. (presses button)

(The unicorns and their car explode, leaving behind stars and sparkles)

MRMordecai and Rigby

Cooooooool!

That's the only way to get rid of unicorns.

(Scene cuts to daytime, with a close-up of a hand turning a valve and Water is shown flying from a hose. Benson is hosing down Mordecai and Rigby, who are screaming after getting soaked)

(furiously) I can't believe you idiots let those unicorns in here! You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up, or you'll wish it was YOU DRIVING THAT CAR!

The unicorn one? (Benson sprays Rigby with the hose and Rigby falls over screaming) COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!

(to Mordecai) And YOU!

(Mordecai screams, shaking in fear)

Quit spraying that cologne! It's not gonna get you any ladies! Idiots... [walks away]

Wanna go, bro?

Strong Johns?

Yeah.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Alright, everyone. I got some bad news. The park is being audited. ( He Points to Pops) Pops tried to pay the park taxes... [gives him a look] ...with lollipops.

[the rest of the workers voice their displeasure]

Pops

But I gave them more than enough!

We already went over this, Pops. You pay taxes with money, not lollipops.

Pops

[sadly' Oh...

[spits] What's the big deal? It's not like an audit is a bad thing.

It is a bad thing, Rigby! If we don't take care of this, the government takes all our stuff away.

[The park gang starts to panic]

Okay. We only have till 3:00 to stop the audit. Does anyone know someone who can help us? Anybody? Anybody at all?

I know someone who can help...

[angrily] If you say your mom, you're fired!

[long pause] My mom!

GET OUT!

It was worth it! [he and High Five Ghost high-five and walk away]

[thinks] Hmmm... Hmph! Hey! [looks at Rigby] We know someone.

We do? [Mordecai raises his arms. Suddenly, Rigby knows who he's referring to] No! No way!

What? If you know somebody, you've got to tell me.

Rigby has a brother. [Rigby punches him in the butt] And he's an accountant. [Rigby punches him again, rapidly]

SHUT UP!

Dude, what do you have against Don?

[Rigby gets mad, on the verge of crying. A ripple leads us to a flashback of Rigby's sixth birthday party. Pans down from the banner to a young Rigby]

Guys, guys, guys! [zooms out to reveal four bored children, one of them a young Mordecai] Watch me blow out the candle, guys!

[A door opens. Rigby's younger brother, Don, stands in the doorway. Somehow, he is taller than Rigby]

Hey, Rigby. Happy birthday, bro.

Wha- wha - ? I told you to stay in the basement.

Oh. Sorry, Rigby. I just wanted to give you some birthday sugar.

I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKING SUGAR!

RSRigby's Friend 1

I'll give you some sugar, Don.

RSRigby's Friend 2

Yeah, me too! [giggles]

[everyone but Mordecai gets up out of their seats to hug Don. Then, Mordecai follows, but Rigby tries to stop him by grabbing his arm]

DON'T YOU DARE!

I'm just getting some sugar, dude. [Rigby lets go of him] Besides, Don is cool.

[Mordecai goes to Don to give him sugar as everyone else laughs]

RSRigby's Friend

You're the best, Don!

[Young Rigby growls as ripple back to the present]

Yeah. Don really made that party.

Call your brother.

No!

CALL YOUR BROTHER!

NO! I HATE HIM!!!

Fine! Mordecai, you call him.

YOU BETTER NOT!

Dude, he could save the park.

Dude, he could ruin my life! If he comes, I'm gonna tell him to leave.

No, you won't, YOU BE NICE TO YOUR BROTHER OR YOUR FIRED!! [to Mordecai] Call him.

[to Rigby] Dude, just be cool until he stops the audit.

[Rigby growls, on the verge of tears.]

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Benson, give me some sugar! [hugs Benson] Nice to meet you! [points to Pops] Hey, who's this guy?

Pops

I'm Pops!

Pops, give me some sugar!

Pops

[runs laughing to Don and hugs him]

[hugs Skips] Don. Good to meet you. [to Mordecai] Look at this sugar shack. C'mere, guy! I haven't seen you in forever.

[hugs Don] Yeah, I know! It's been forever!

Rigby, give me some sugar, bro!

Don't you have taxies to do? Why don't you get to it?

Oh, ha ha... he was always greedy with the sugar.

Augh...! I can't wait for you to get out of my life!

What, bro?

[mouthing angrily] You keep your mouth SHUT!

Nothing.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Next person receiving an appreciation plague is… Skips. [the other workers applaud for Skips as he comes over to him] It says here in the Book of Park Records that you went the whole year without taking a day off.

[to Hi Five Ghost] Oh, man, that's like, 400 days!

[giving Skips his plaque] Thanks, Skips. We appreciate it. Next is, Pops.

Pops

[joyfully] Hooray!

For helping a baby bird back into its nest.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Ugh. It's so hot. I can't stop sweating.

Dude, is it just me or does being appreciated blow?

Yeah, man. It's not worth it.

Pops

[showing up in the cart] Mordecai, Rigby, did you hear? There's to be a blizzard this afternoon!

But it's the middle of Summer.

Pops

I know, but look! [shows them tennis rackets tied to his feet] I've already donned my snowshoes. [drives off]

Pfft, snow? Sounds like more crazy Pops talk to me, right?

Yeah.

[They both laugh, but not for long when a giant blizzard suddenly appears out of nowhere]

This is crazy!

Dude! I think it's the book!

What?!

Don't you get it?! The pancakes, Benson liking us, the work, this blizzard!

BBoth

Skips!

[Later, they drive the golf cart out from the garage and into the blistering blizzard to search for Skips]

Dude, how are we gonna find him? I can't see anything!

Just keep going! [they suddenly crash into a shadowy figure] What was that?!

[They get out of the cart and gasp in realization to see they've accidentally ran over…]

BBoth

Skips!

[They help Skips up and his right leg breaks, causing him to exclaim in pain]

That's not good.

Help me get him into the cart!

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Pops. Yo, Pops. I found your Mustache Monthly. (Puts Pops' Moustaches Monthly on a chair and turns his head around, before seeing Pops, just out of the shower and naked.) AAAAAGH!

Pops

Aaaaagh!

Aaaaagh!

Pops

Aaaaagh!

Aaaaagh! (In all the confusion, he now catches a glimpse of Pops' "junk mail".)

Pops

Aaaaagh! (Pops covers his "junk mail" with his hat. Mordecai covers his eyes. They both try to leave but they're in each other's ways".)

(breathing) Uh... uh... uh... uh...

Pops

(breathing) Uh... uh... uh... uh...

(Mordecai finally escapes Pops' room as Pops goes into his bathroom. Mordecai goes downstairs and sits on the couch.)

Stop playing for a second. When I went upstairs, Pops was getting out of the shower.

Yeah, so?

And he didn't have a towel.

Ewww!

I tried not to look and just give him the magazine, but I saw his...

His junk mail? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

No, dude, I'm mentally scarred. It's like the image is glued in the inside of my eyelids. Every saggy, wrinkled, shriveled, pasty...

Whoa, whoa! Don't put it in my head!

This is your fault! You have to help me!

I'll help you to forget it if you promise to stop talking about it.

Deal.

(They shake hands.)

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

[reads Darthon manual] "Your party walks down a long hallway and reaches a locked door. What do you do?"

I smash it open with my war claw! Then, a bunch of ladies come out and they're all, "Ooh, Muscle Man! Quit pinching my butt with your war claw!"

[reads] "Roll the 50-sided die to see if you unlock the door."

All we have is a 48-sided die and two marbles.

Close enough. [Muscle Man chucks the die and marbles]

Huh! [the die and marbles roll onto the floor] Did it work?

Uhh... I don't think so.

This blows!

Pops

Mordecai, Mordecai! [western accent] Well, I reckon I'd like a turn now!

Cyborg cowboys take three days to awaken from hypersleep. Sorry, Pops.

Pops

Oh...

Can't he cast a saving throw?

U-uh...

What does all this stuff mean? Are we even IN Darthon yet?

Uhh...

Or is that just an artifact or something?

Uhh... [shuts book] "Your party is suddenly ambushed by a flock of man-bats!" Skips the Mighty gets first strike.

[rolls die and marbles] Hi-yah!

Let's see. Pirate samurai have +2 constitution, -3 charisma, divide by number of geese... Do we have a protractor?

I'm outta here.

Worst game night ever!

Aah!! Dude, they're RIGHT! This game sucks!

Let's get our money back.

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

Pops

Mordecai, Rigby!

Pops! Where have you guys been?

We were hiding in the armor closet, then suddenly we were in the stock room at Shoe Farm.

Good thing it was worth it! Seven bones, baby!

$7.00?[outraged] WE ALMOST DIED FOR $7.00?!!

The numbers aren't important!

It was the principle.

Yeah, if we're gonna spend that kinda money, it's gotta be on a COOL game!

Yeah, something like "Trail of Elderitch" or "The Lair of Anthelon".

Dude, is that out?

Yeah, it came out last week.

BBoth

[run back into store] Yeah-hah!

S1 E15 Unfinished Business

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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.