A character in Regular Show
Played by Sam Marin
Regular Show · 562 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Regular Show: in 88 of its 562 quotes
Most scenes with: Rigby Riggerson (52), Mordecai (52), Benson Dunwoody (38)
Muscle ManYou know who else has the best tacos in the city?
Dude, Benson will blow a fuse if he finds out we were slacking off!
Muscle ManYou know who else would blow a fuse if she found out we were slacking off?
We don't have time for this!
Muscle ManYou know who else doesn't have time for this!?
UGH!!
Muscle ManYou know who else says "ugh"?! MY MOM!!!!
Muscle ManAre you making fun of my mom?! YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF MY MOM!! NO-ONE MAKES FUN OF MY MOM!!!
Yo, little brother! My ears are ringin! Is someone makin fun of our mom!?
Muscle ManYeah, they are, bro!
Oh no, bro!
Muscle ManI know, bro!
That's it! I'm comin' up there!
Muscle ManWho is it?
It's us.
Muscle ManWhat do you want?
We wanna borrow your TV!
Muscle ManWhy?
Because. We're about to beat The Hammer.
Muscle ManWHAT?! (SLAM) NOBODY can beat The Hammer! It's impossible!
Pfft! Not for us! Will you let us borrow your TV or not?
Muscle ManYeah. You can borrow it... if you can tell me what The Hammer looks like.
He's blue, with a black mullet.
Muscle ManFives!
[Fives scrolls thru Video Game Power Mag to see stats for The Hammer]
Uh-huh.
Muscle ManOh man!
So can we borrow it?
Muscle ManYeah, you can borrow it. So we can watch you LOSE!! Ahaha! WOOO!!! WOOHOO!!! This is gonna be hilari-uhh! (CRUNCH!!)
[beat]
Does Benson have a TV?
[reads Darthon manual] "Your party walks down a long hallway and reaches a locked door. What do you do?"
Muscle ManI smash it open with my war claw! Then, a bunch of ladies come out and they're all, "Ooh, Muscle Man! Quit pinching my butt with your war claw!"
[reads] "Roll the 50-sided die to see if you unlock the door."
All we have is a 48-sided die and two marbles.
Close enough. [Muscle Man chucks the die and marbles]
Muscle ManHuh! [the die and marbles roll onto the floor] Did it work?
Uhh... I don't think so.
Muscle ManThis blows!
Mordecai, Mordecai! [western accent] Well, I reckon I'd like a turn now!
Cyborg cowboys take three days to awaken from hypersleep. Sorry, Pops.
Oh...
Can't he cast a saving throw?
U-uh...
What does all this stuff mean? Are we even IN Darthon yet?
Uhh...
Or is that just an artifact or something?
Uhh... [shuts book] "Your party is suddenly ambushed by a flock of man-bats!" Skips the Mighty gets first strike.
[rolls die and marbles] Hi-yah!
Let's see. Pirate samurai have +2 constitution, -3 charisma, divide by number of geese... Do we have a protractor?
I'm outta here.
Muscle ManWorst game night ever!
Aah!! Dude, they're RIGHT! This game sucks!
Let's get our money back.
I've got an idea: Brain Explosion!
What!? You can't explode my brain! That's gotta be illegal!
(holds up CD) No, the band, Brain Explosion.
Oh, never heard of them.
And that's why you've never heard of them. But trust me, these guys are like real, real musicians. Just listen to some of this, and it'll throw that poppy trash music right out of your head.
[a weird synthy noise plays]
Wait, wait... [the weird synthy noise plays again] Aw man, that's like the best part! [Mordecai notices Rigby sleeping, and angrily glares at him] RIGBY!
[startled] Lovin' in the summertime! What? Ah, I think your song just put me to sleep.
Man, you have no taste in music.
Look, all I know is that this song is still stuck in my head.
Alright, well, what if we sit down and listen to the entire summertime song beginning to end? That way your brain'll have closure and then it can move on.
[turns on the stereo]
It's summertime and you know what that means. Gonna head down to the beach, gonna do some beachy things.
[walks out of room] I can't stand this, I'm gonna wait outside.
It's summertime and it feels just right
[opens the door] Well, did it work?
[singing] I think it worked, but I can't be sure.
[pulls his hair] Aw, man! It's even worse now! Time to take a different approach.
[Montage of Mordecai and Rigby doing various things to get the song unstuck, like sticking Rigby's head in a toilet, using loud objects and finally having Muscle Man hit Rigby on the head with a broom. Cut to Rigby angrily taking his helmet off]
Wait. Stop. Stop. It's not working. The stupid song's still stuck in my head.
Muscle ManYou have a song stuck in your head? [at this, Rigby throws the helmet]
Hey Muscle Man, we got work to do, remember? [Muscle Man breaks down]
Dude... are you crying?
Muscle ManNO! Crying's for ladies, LIKE YOU!! I don't cry!!
[cut to a crying nude Muscle Man in the shower, with Mordecai and Rigby knocking outside his caravan]
Dude, he's been in there for hours!
Muscle Man! Muscle Man! [looks inside] Muscle Man, are you taking a shower so we can't see you crying?
Muscle ManNO!! IT'S... IT'S JUST THE SOUND OF THE WATER HITTING THE DRAIN!!
Dude, what's wrong with him?
[appears] His girlfriend Starla dumped him last night.
What?! Muscle Man had a girlfriend? I wonder who had more junk in the trunk.
Muscle Man, just come out! We can talk about it if you want.
Muscle ManNO!!! I DON'T TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS WITH ANYONE!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Alright, Muscle Man, grocery stores have tons of available women.
Muscle ManI don't know, Mordecai... None of these ladies are as hot as Starla.
Dude, man up! Check this out. [points] That girl is single.
Muscle ManHow can you tell?
Check out her cart. American cheese singles, a single serving of soup—and who buys one banana? And I don't see a ring on that finger. So what're you waiting for? Go get her!
Muscle Man[walks to her] Uhh... hey. You're a chick. I was wondering if you wanted to....
[....]
Muscle ManI CAN'T DO THIS!! [rips shirt showing his chest tattoo] THIS HEART BEATS FOR ANOTHER!!! [cries as the woman continues strolling] STARLAAA!!!
Gotta find somebody, gotta find somebody! Fives!! You gotta help me, man! You gotta say my name three times! [beat] I'm jinxed and Mordecai's taking this thing way too far! You gotta say my name three times!!
[Fives shakes his head]
COME OOON!!! [Fives shakes again] WHY NOT?!?!
Because I'm jinxed too...
Muscle ManAha! [leap-punches Fives] No talking while you're jinxed, loser!
Help.. me—
Muscle ManSHUT YOUR MOUTH!!
Hi-Five Ghost, Hi-Five Ghost, Hi-Five Ghost!
Muscle ManHey!!
Ah ha ha ha ha! Whoo!!
Dude, help me back! [Fives flies off] NO, WAIT!!
Muscle ManDude, why'd you do that for?!
I'm sorry, I just needed to get rid of my jinx!
Muscle ManWhy don't you take it off yourself?
You can do that?
Muscle ManPft, yeah, it's easy. Now, here's what you gotta do.
Muscle ManAw yeah! Meat Cooler Kings round two!
Shotgun!
How does it feel to be part of the final four?
It feels GREAT!
Awesome!
It's exciting!
Muscle ManWOOOOO!!!
Mmhm. And how did you make it this far?
Muscle ManWorking together, baby!!
[chuckles] Fantastic. So, what're gonna do with the car?
Share it.
Hmm, that's funny. Because that's not what Mordecai said.
Muscle ManWhat did Mordecai say..?
Well, that he was gonna take the car for himself.
Rigby said that?
Yeah. That's what Muscle Man said.
I knew it!
That jerk.
I can't believe this!
Muscle ManOh, he's gonna pay!
Well, we did it.
Muscle ManYep.
Yeah.
Muscle ManGuess all that's left to do now is step down and get the car.
That sounds about right.
Muscle ManWell, I'll meet you guys down there. I gotta take down the tent first.
[pushes Muscle Man aside] No, no — we'll take care of the tent. You should go first.
Muscle Man[grabs Mordecai by his hooded jacket cuff] I'm not stepping off this thing until you three step off it first.
[getting angry] What's that supposed to mean?
Muscle ManIt means I know what you're up to!
[angrily jabs Muscle Man by the chest] You know what I'M up to!? I know what YOU'RE up to! [furiously jabs his hand] Step one: working with you is a huge mistake, [furiously jabs his hand] and step two: [points to the outside of text] get off this billboard, you smell like barf!
Muscle ManYOU SMELL LIKE BARF!
[They get in a big ball violence]
And now a little insurance to make sure this little competition doesn't end too early... [evilly laughs]
[Scene showing Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man frozen & now showing the W.H.O.Z. Billboard as the days went on, and the years went by]
Year 4224...
[Scene showing an a museum of The Night Owl & now showing the tank running out of liquid nitrogen & now showing a scene to Mordecai, Rigby, High-Fives & Muscle Man in the melting ice]
[enraged] You smell like BARF! [angrily punches Muscle Man in the testicles]
Muscle Man[gasps and holds his testicles] Huh?
[gasping in horror]
GET OFF THIS BILLBOARD, BARF SACK!
Muscle ManDON'T CALL ME A BARF SACK!
[Rigby, Hi-Five Ghost and Muscle Man result in a big ball violence]
[breaks up a fight between them] STOP! STOP! Something's not right! [opens the tent & all of them are shocked] Oh, my... [his pupil shrinks in horror]
How long have we been up here?
Dude, I think we're in the future.
Muscle ManAww, this is all your fault!
Me?! [angrily grabs Muscle Man by the shirt] You were the one who was tryin' to get the car for yourself! [lets go of Muscle Man's shirt] Yeah, that's right, The Night Owl told me what you said!
Muscle ManWhat did I say?
[points at him and jabs him in the chest] That you were gonna trick us so you could get the car for yourself!
Muscle ManGet your hand out of my face! [slaps away Mordecai's hand] [crosses his arms] I never said that! That's what Rigby said!
What?!
Muscle ManThat's what The Night Owl told Me!
But The Night Owl told me that's what Hi-Five Ghost said!
I never said that!
Wait a minute, guys. I think The Night Owl tricked us.
Muscle ManYeah, I think you're right, bro.
[blinds them with flashlight] Hey! Hey you! What are you doing up in the exhibit? [gasps] You're the contestants! [presses an emergency button & talks on walkie-talkie] Contestants are unfrozen! I repeat unfrozen! Requesting backup immediately!
[More liquid nitrogen is coming from the display case's ceiling]
[shakes with horror] That's not good! We gotta get outta here! [points to the car] Muscle Man, can you start that car?
Muscle ManYeah. Let's blow this popsicle stand!
GO! GO! GO!
[They used a fast percussion sound effect made from tightly edited wooden or leather taps combined with scraped rubber textures to mimic frantic slipping before a sudden dash]
Muscle Man[slides down the stairs] WHOO! WHOO!
And if you don't stop goofing off and clean up this graffiti NOW, I’M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!
Huh...??
Do you have anything to say for yourselves?
What just happened?
Ugh, I don't remember anything...
Muscle ManMe and Fives were practicing for a pie-eating contest when you two dweebs came in speaking Spanish or something. [chows down pie]
Then you drank that green stuff.
AUGH!! I can't believe you made me drink your lame drink!
Better get started, or it's coming out of your paycheck.
Muscle ManYeah, losers.
[teasing Muscle Man] What's the matter, Mitch? Don't have any clever jokes about your mommy?
Muscle ManDon't talk about my mom!
Did you guys see that?!
This is not good.
What are we gonna do then?!
Guys...?
What, what is it?
[A loud knock is heard at the door, someone quietly opens it and a skinless Muscle Man is shown to be the knocker]
Muscle ManI told you I was ripped... [falls forward and dies]
AHHH! [telephone rings] AHHH!
[Hi Five Ghost runs to answer it]
[last words] No, Fives, WAIT!
[answers phone] Hello?
Goodbye! [sucks Hi Five Ghost into the phone and squirts him out as a liquid all over Skips and Mordecai, as Benson vomits his gumballs]
[last words] Worst phone call ever.
[Mordecai and Skips are covered in liquid and Mordecai is pushed against the bookshelf by the Halloween Wizard and is knock unconscious. Benson and Pops scream in terror and hide in rooms while Skips tries punching the Halloween Wizard but the Halloween Wizard trips him]
If you can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen!
[Halloween Wizard throws Skips into the chimney, and fire goes up the chimney and burns Skips as fire goes to the top of the house and Rigby screams, Halloween Wizard runs into the bathroom, opens the shower curtain, and sees Benson]
What's up, gumball?
[Benson screams. Him and his nun chucks are flushed down the toilet, causing his gumballs to rise]
[in bedroom] Show yourself... Bad show, very bad show! [door opens] AHHH!
[Pops fires sling-shot, but it hits the wall, Pops gets thrown into a closet and disappears]
What's happening? Hello, is anybody there? Can anyone hear me?
[wakes up] Rigby?
Mordecai!
Don't worry, Rigby, I'm here. I won't anything happen to you.
[An invisible force comes and chops Mordecai's head off and his head falls to the ground]
[last words] Huh, so this is what it feels like to be as tall as Rigby.
[Mordecai gags and dies]
Mordecai? Mordecai? I'm sorry, okay?! I shouldn't have egged your house; do you hear me?! I'm sorry!
[The Halloween Wizard goes to Rigby and laughs]
I told you you'd pay.
Well then, what are you waiting for?! Do it! Do it already!
[The wizard uncovers a case and laughs maniacally while Rigby screams and eggs are thrown at him]
Huh, what?!
How do you like it?
What?! You turned me into a house and killed all of my friends just to throw eggs at me?! THAT'S IT?!
Yep, that's it.
[Points up; zooms out to reveal a big egg coming down on Rigby, then Rigby screams as the egg collapses and he melts]
Rigby RiggersonWilliam Salyers · 322 quotes
MordecaiJ. G. Quintel · 310 quotes
Benson DunwoodySam Marin · 195 quotes
Pops MaellardSam Marin · 58 quotes
SkipsMark Hamill · 53 quotes
Eileen Roberts-RiggersonMinty Lewis · 42 quotes
Hi-Five GhostJ. G. Quintel · 23 quotes
Margaret SmithJanie Haddad-Tompkins · 23 quotes
C.JLinda Cardellini · 11 quotes
TThomas8 quotes
DRDon RiggersonJulian Dean · 7 quotes
ShermEddie Pepitone · 7 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.