Eileen Roberts-Riggerson quotes from Regular Show

Eileen

Double black diamond?! Wait! NO, STOP! TURN THIS THING AROUND! I WANT TO GO DOWN!

Eileen

[removing the earmuffs from her head] I'm just gonna go ahead and take these off now.

Eileen

Guys? What's going on?

[unimpressed after the movie ends] What?

Rigby

[amazed] Whoa! That was awesome!

Margaret

I can't believe you guys think that's cool.

Eileen

Yeah. That movie was chauvinistic and also inaccurate.

Mordecai

I don't know. I heard that movie was based on a true story.

Rigby

If this movie has taught us anything, and it definitely has, you only need one thing to get a girl's number… A sweet ride.

Eileen

I mean, not necessarily. You could just, you know, ask a girl for it, Rigby.

Rigby

Eileen, don't be so naive, that would never work.

Mordecai

Rigby's right. It's a known fact that wheels make you more attractive.

Rigby

A known fact! I don't know how many times I've almost gotten a girl's number, then some guy in a muscle car would swing in and totally ruin my game.

Margaret

Oh, guys. You're kidding, right?

Mordecai

Are you saying you wouldn't give us your number if we pulled up in some cool wheels?

Margaret

You dorks would never be able to get a girl's number cruising.

Mordecai

Oh, yeah?

Margaret

Yeah.

Rigby

[hops onto the table] Let's bet on it!

Mordecai

So, what did you guys think?

Margaret

Yeah, you know, it was pretty good.

Eileen

I think I'm gonna like the remake better.

Rigby

They don't call it Crime Town for nothing, baby. (Mimicking machine gun sounds)

Mordecai

Well, I'm glad you liked it. I missed all the best parts 'cause you were trying to talk to me.

Rigby

Dude, I still don't know what you're talking about. Like I said, it wasn't me.

Mordecai

Whatever.

Margaret

(Mordecai walk to Margaret's car, and looks around for his personal item which turns out to be his wallet, Margaret has followed him to the car to check up on him) What's up?

Mordecai

I can't find my wallet.

Margaret

Oh, let's see... (She also joins Mordecai in the car, helping him look for his wallet, then she leans over the seat) Did you check the glove compartment?

Mordecai

Yeah, I checked there... (They realize that they are close to one another once again) already...

Margaret

Oh, ha...

Mordecai

Ha. (They stare at each other, Mordecai gulps, and leans in with Margaret joining in, and they kiss. Then Margaret opens her eyes and looks disgusted, and pushes Mordecai away) Oh, sorry, I shouldn't…

Margaret

No, it's fine. It's just…

Mordecai

What?

Margaret

Your breath is really bad.

Mordecai

Ahh! Oh, my gosh. (Reaches for the door handle to get out of the car)

Margaret

Wait, no! It's...

Mordecai

I'm sorry! (He exits out of the car to run back into the house) I'm sorry!

Margaret

Mordecai!

Rigby

(Talking to Eileen) Yeah, you know, I came up with the name Morde-shakes, so...

Mordecai

(Runs to the door and goes inside) Morde-shakes are cancelled. Good night, Eileen.

Rigby

Wait, what?

Mordecai

(He grabs Rigby's arm) I need to talk to you. Come on!

Rigby

Whoa! (Mordecai runs inside the house grabbing Rigby, and the door closes)

Eileen

Uh, good night?

Margaret

[elder voice] Why did you put it in reverse?

Mordecai

[elder voice] It was the only thing I could think of!

Rigby

[He looks at his hands, returning to the gang's real age] Guys, look!

Margaret

We're getting younger!

Mordecai

[younger voice] We gotta get off this bus!

Eileen

[younger voice] Guys look, an emergency hatch!

Mordecai

[younger voice] Come on, everybody up!

[younger voice] Now what?

Mordecai

[younger voice] We gotta jump! [The gang holds each other's hands, and then they all jump off of the bus, giggling] We did it! We got off the party bus.

[younger voice] OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Eileen

Rigby, she needs our support.

Rigby

You heard her, Eileen. She wants to transfer colleges. What if we never see her again? (Then the words echo in Mordecai's mind and the tone gets lower. Mordecai starts to worry about never seeing Margaret ever again.) Right, Mordecai? Yo, Mordecai! Mordo, buddy, are you alright?

Mordecai

Guys, it's Margaret's last night of freedom! Let's surprise her with the biggest party of her life.

Rigby

Dude, yeah!

Eileen

That's a great idea!

Mordecai

Whooooaaaaaa!

T.G.I. Tuesday!

Margaret

Huh?

Mordecai

She gets off work at eight tonight, so we only have a few hours. First, let's get supplies.

T.G.I. Tuesday.

Benson

Yep, the Parkside Lux. This ballroom used to host the most elegant balls in its day.

Rigby

Whoa, were they big?

Benson

Oh, they were huge!

Rigby

[Snickers, then Catra punches him] Ow!

Stop it right now, or he'll take it all back!

Margaret

Hey, are you doing anything tomorrow? My family is having a barbecue. Wanna come?

Rigby

Family function?! Pass. I can't stand my own family barbecues, Why would I want to go to someone else's?

Mordecai

[elbows Rigby] She's not talking to you!

Margaret

Um. So, how 'bout it? Hehe.

Mordecai

Sure. Sounds like fun.

Margaret

Awesome! I'm really excited for you to meet everybody, especially my dad. I think you'll really like him. He pilots the traffic Helicopter for the local news.

Rigby

What?!

Mordecai

Whoa! Your dad is Chopper Six?!

Rigby

That dude rules! [imitates Chopper Six] This is Chopper Six now flying over a ton of traffic. Bet all of you losers wish you were in this Chopper! WHOO! And then he flies over some burning truck in a fifty car pile up! So cool.

Eileen

He is really cool, but don't let your guard down. Margaret's dad can be a pretty aggressive guy. It's common in such a male dominant profession. He even refuses to shake hands with any guy Margaret brings home.

Margaret

Oh, come on! He's not that tough. He's super sweet when you get to know him.

Mordecai

Yeah. I'm sure we'll get along fine.

Margaret

Well, we gotta get back to work. I'll pick you up tomorrow, okay? [she and Eileen leave]

Eileen

Later.

Mordecai

Great. See ya. I have to shake that guy's hand.

Rigby

What, why?

Mordecai

Dude, it's a huge deal! I'm finally out of the friend zone, and now she's taking me to meet her parents.

Rigby

So what? You wanna date Margaret, not her dad.

Mordecai

You don't get it, dude. If Margaret and I are gonna date, I need her dad to like me. [determined] I have to get that handshake.

So for your final project, I thought we'd do something fun - a music video! [Eileen is unsure of this as the class cheers] Projects are due at the end of the week. Good luck.

Eileen

Um, Mr. Murphy, what exactly are you looking for in the assignment? I wanna do a good job so I can pass the class.

Don't ask me what I'm looking for, Eileen, ask you what you're looking for, in here. Because making a good film takes more than what you have up here.

Eileen

Hey, guys. Refills? Refills?

Mordecai

Eileen, that's the third time you topped us off.

Rigby

Yeah, what gives?

Eileen

Well, there's kind of this favor I wanted to ask you guys. Look, I gotta make a music video for my introductory filmmaking class, which I only took because I'm required to graduate. But I don't know the first thing about this kind of stuff. You guys are so creative. Can you help me?

Rigby

Can we be in it?

Eileen

Sure!

Rigby

Aw, yeah, we can help!

Rigby

Ugh! Who made this garbage?

Mordecai

Dude, we did!

Rigby

Oh, yeah. I knew we should've used more zebra.

Eileen

This is terrible! I can't turn this in!

C.J.

I thought you guys knew everything about music videos.

Rigby

Yeah! Watching them, not making them!

Mordecai

Eileen, I hate to say this, but you probably gonna fail.

Eileen

I-I've never failed a class in my life!

Rigby

Eh, it gets easier after the first few times.

Mordecai

Sorry, Eileen.

Rigby

Yeah, sorry we messed this up for you.

C.J.

Well, there's still an hour left. We can re-edit it?

Eileen

Re-editing this isn't gonna make it work. Ugh! Think, Eileen. Think! [Flashback to what Mr. Murphy told her, back to present] There's only one way I can make this work-- Eileen's way!

C.J.

[turning dark grey with anger] HOW DID I MISS THAT SHOT?! [angrily throws the putter out of the golf course, breaking someone's windshield] It was so easy!

Mordecai

Whoa, whoa, CJ. No need to get upset.

Rigby

It's just mini golf.

Eileen

Is something the matter?

C.J.

I can't help taking mini golf seriously. It kinda runs in the family. [sighs] My dad is Carl Putter.

Mordecai

Whoa, Carl Putter? The world champion mini-golf pro?

Eileen

That explains so much.

Rigby

Wait, so your last name is Putter?

C.J.

No, that's just his mini-golf name. Look, it's not something I really like to talk about. Growing up with a mini golf legend as your dad, well… it can be pretty tough.

Eileen

And somehow this just got creepier.

Eileen

Come on, Wyatt! What are you waiting for?!

[He looks at his reflection in a mirror] He might not be trying to kill us. And I really need a haircut...

Mordecai

What?! You look fine! Let's just go!

[He backs up into the hallway] No. He might be cool. I'm gonna chance it! [He runs toward the barber]

Eileen

Wyatt, no!

What'll it be, sir?

Just a little off the top.

You got it! [laughing maniacally]

How does it look?

Oh, come on. It's not that bad, is it?

Okay. Let me get a "honk-honk" in here 'cause you goosed (guessed) it!

It's time to announce the winner of the City College Modern Dance Competition. [pigeon flies by to give the man an envelope] Now, I don't want to "pigeon-hold" anyone, but first place today goes to Eileen Roberts with the dance "Chewed Gum"!

To say you blew away the competition wouldn't be Ostrich (a stretch)! [Eileen squeals/screams again] Let's see how well you dance after a year of sitting in front of your very own flat screen TV!

Eileen

[joyous squeal] This is the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Flat-screen! Flat-screen!

Thanks for coming everyone and for all of you losers today, don't Rooster (Brewster) on your laurels 'cuz there's always next year!