AMAnswering Machine
We intercepted two frauds trying to access your voicemail without your permission.
STSpool of Thread
The one who claims to have a complicated relationship with you.
MordecaiDon't listen to them, Margaret!
Yeah, these guys are crazy!
Mordecai? Rigby? [annoyed] Wait, you guys tried to hack into my phone?
Mordecai
It was an accident! We didn't know it was your phone!
Mordecai
Well, we didn't know, but...
But what? I can't believe you would do something like that! I totally misjudged you!
Dude, just come clean already.
Mordecai
(grunts) Okay, look. So I sat on my phone, and accidentally...
He called you with his butt!
Mordecai
Yeah. So I accidentally left you a voicemail with me singing this dumb song. (Mordecai scratching his neck) It's really embarrassing. So we tried to erase it before you heard it.
You what? I want to hear the message!
Mordecai
Wait! Margaret, please!
AMAnswering Machine
Play the message!
WWaiter
Have you decided?
Mordecai
Uhh, I'll take the Eggs Benedict, a-and uh... orange juice.
And I'll have the Eggscellent Challenge.
WWaiter
Oh... I wouldn't recommend the Eggscellent Challenge, it's more of a promotional item.
Yeah, and it's the only reason we're here, so...
WWaiter
Sir, i-it's really just—
Okay, hold on, hold on. I'm confused. I'm the customer, right?
What does that sign say over there?
WWaiter
Uhh... "The customer is always right."
WWaiter
[annoyed] Sir, please!
WWaiter
"The customer is always right."
WWaiter
What would you like, sir?
[In the hospital ward, Rigby is comatose due a severe egg allergy. Benson turns to Mordecai and chastises him in a negative tone]
Well, I hope you've learned something from all this.
Mordecai
[becoming skeptical] What?
Maybe if you'd been working like you were supposed to, none of this would've happened. [Disgusted by Benson's halfheartedness, Mordecai immediately punches him in the face in a rage, making Benson stagger back in surprised. Pops and Hi-Five Ghost hold him away from Mordecai, while Skips and Muscle Man do the same with Mordecai] Mordecai, what are you doing?!
Mordecai
[outraged] WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM?! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WORK! HE JUST WANTED THE HAT!
And look where it got him! [angrily points at Rigby] Your friend over there is only gonna get you into trouble!
Mordecai
Huh! Yeah, right! Take advice from Benson about friends since you've got so many of 'em.
[stoically] I have friends.
Mordecai
No, you don't. Everyone only hangs out with you because you're our boss! Rigby only wanted to try and win a hat. He doesn't deserve to be in a coma because of it. [he storms past Benson to the exit]
Mordecai
Back to the restaurant.
Mordecai
Because I made a promise to Rigby and I'm gonna keep it. That's what friends do for each other.
[He furiously exits and slams the ward door behind him. The group stays silent for a beat]
Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
Mordecai
Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
Pssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
Ugh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
Mordecai
Hey, Rigby! I've got good news! [Rigby gasps] I put you down as an alternate.
Mordecai
Come on, dude. I'm just trying to win the Glove.
Then why did you pick Skips?! He's not even good at video games!
Mordecai
Dude, cool it!
Why would you pick Skips over me?! He's HORRIBLE at video games!!
Mordecai
No he's NOT! [furiously shoves Rigby down the floor; a crowd of people whoop]
CCrowd
Cooooooooooool! [Rigby gets up, looks at Mordecai panting angrily]
Mordecai
Rigby, I picked Skips because you're horrible at video games. [closeup on Rigby, shocked and becomes enraged at what Mordecai says to him]
[Enraged] Fine! Forget you, then! I hope you have as much fun winning the Glove as you did losing your best friend. [he angrily storms off]
Mordecai
Rigby!! [see Rigby leaving with people blocking the exit]
I know what you're doing, Mordecai, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed in you.
Mordecai
[sighs] Look, Skips, I wanna win the Maximum Glove for me and Rigby to share, but I just can't play with him. He's not good enough at video games to win.
Mordecai, I know you wanna make Rigby happy by winning that Glove, but are you sure you're going about this the right way?
Mordecai
Don't worry about it. He'll get over it when we win the Glove. Let's go.
Mordecai
(the scene cuts to the Lottery Plaza) Muscle Man, wait!
Mordecai
There's something we need to tell you. The lottery ticket... it's fake. We wanted to get back for pranking us.
It just got out of hand! We're sorry.
Nope. ( He suddenly becomes enraged) I’M FURIOUS!!! (Mordecai and Rigby gasp, then Muscle Man furiously shoves Mordecai and Rigby into the ticket checker and then catapults it over a wall)
[Jeremy and Chad look towards Mordecai and Rigby who stare back.] Jeremy That's lT. [then he and Chad go up to Mordecai and Rigby, who walks up to them.]
Mordecai
(Grunts)
This party's over! That's right, beat it. I don't want any of your faces here ever again! Hey, not you two. Mordecai and Rigby, you can get out Red BECAUSE YOU'RE FIRED!!
(He angrily camera-flashes in front of both's faces)
But you were gonna give our jobs away!
Mordecai
We had to do something to stop them from finishing the boats!
Yeah, and a lot good THAT did you,
But Benso— (He camera-flashes them again)
NOW, Red NOW, NOW, LEAVE NOW!!
(Benson sighs heavily and recedes down to his normal color hue for a beat)
Hey, Chad and Jeremy! Looks like positions opened up, so whaddaya say? How would you like a job at the park.
JJeremy
(scoffs) Yeah right. We didn't get degrees at the Institute of Technical Technology to work at some at some crazy job like this.
CChad
Good luck finding two suckers dumb enough to take this job!
(Both activate rocket-installed phones and fly away)
Chad! Jeremy! Wait.... ... But... I...
Mordecai
So.. Benson... Not sure if you're looking, but we know a couple of dumb suckers who are real good at cleaning up pizza parties.
REAL good. (He camera-flashes Benson)
TBTrash Boat (Rigby)
Mordecai, I can't take this anymore! I wanna change my name back! Could you please just be a pal and lend me 50 bucks?
Mordecai
50 bucks? I dunno.. What do you think, Muscle Man?
I don't think you should do it. I like Trash Boat WAY better than Rigby anyways. It's way easier to make fun of. [gaping his wolf tattoo belly] Isn't that right, Trash Boat?
[Trash Boat has changed his name back to Rigby, thus puzzling The Urge for a moment]
Huh!? Wait, what did you say your name was?
WOOOO-HOO! The Urge is back, BAY-BAAAAAAYAH!
[Another time traveling rockstar named Dicken Flakes appears]
DFDicken Flakes
Ey! Are you The Urge?
DFDicken Flakes
You robbed me of my fame in the future, so I've come back here to the past to stop you!
[The woman at the name change counter closes her window door]
DFDicken Flakes
[blasts The Urge with his keytar, killing the latter] Nice!
[Another time traveling rockstar named Velvet Overkill appears]
VOVelvet Overkill
Are you Dicken Flakes?
DFDicken Flakes
What's it to you?
[Yet another time traveling rockstar appears]
TTTime Traveling Rockstar #1
Oi, which one of you is the Velvet Overkill?
VOVelvet Overkill and Dicken Flakes
[they point at each other] He is! [they both get shot down]
TTTime Traveling Rockstar #1
Finally! My fame is secure!
[And then, a whole bunch of time traveling rockstars appear]
TTTime Traveling Rockstar #2
Anyone here named Crocodile Deathspin?
[Chaos ensues at the name change palace as all the time traveling rockstars attack each other with their laser-shooting instruments of every sort. As Mordecai and Rigby watch the escalating war, they dodge a laser and get outta dodge. The short-lived war then ends when the last time traveling rockstar with maracas appears and gets blasted by a time traveling rockstar with a laser-shooting saxophone and his maraca-grenades get dropped and then explodes, destroying the name change palace and killing all of the time-traveling rockstars inside. Mordecai and Rigby walk out alive with ashes on their bodies.]
Mordecai
Yeah... Don't ever change your name again.
[a short while after being pulled over]
Mordecai
Benson, we're sorry.
Yeah, the bag wouldn't open and the napkins!--
[Irritated] No, no more! Here's what you guys are gonna do for the rest of the trip — nothing! Absolutely nothing! (in red) Don't say anything, don't do anything. Just stop messing things up!
[pause]
Benson, why d’you hate us so much?
[sighs] I don't hate you guys. I just hate some of things you do. Okay, I really hate some of things you do. I know you don't mean them, but I'm your boss and it's my job to push you to do better.
Mordecai
Is that why Maellard yells at you?
[laughs] You guys dunno how easy you have it! Let's just say his yelling is way worse than mine.
But is it worse than his face? [all laugh]
Mordecai
[squeaks] His face.
(Yawns) Huh? [angry] What?! (He walks into Joyspot Arcade finding Mordecai & Rigby, angrily pulling them out of the building, they both groan)
Mordecai
Ugh. How long were we in there?
(turning red) HOURS! You were in there for HOURS! Now, we're never gonna make it to the dealership in time! It closes in thirty minutes!
Mordecai
We're sorry! We didn't know it was daytime. There aren't any windows in the arcade!
Excuses, excuses! How am I supposed to trust you when all you give me are EXCUSES?!!? When are you two gonna learn that your actions have CONSEQUENCES??!!?! Consequences that AFFECT other people! (Voice breaking) Like me. Don't you two understand? I'm about to lose my job! You may not care about keeping your jobs, but I care about keeping mine. 'Cause if I lose my job, I have nothing! Do you hear me? I have nothing! (breaks down crying) Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take my last bathroom break as an employed man. (enters the nearby bathroom)
Mordecai
Dude, we really messed up. (A few moments later, Benson exits the bathroom)
(Shocked) What...? (He notices the cart is gone, then turns red and starts wailing, screaming in a rage, then panting) Hey, you! (the scene shows a hillbilly on a motorcycle, then Benson runs up to him) There were two guys with a truck that were just here. D’you know where they went?
BBiker
Oh, yeah! They're taking a shortcut out to Highway 13 to the car dealership!
BBiker
Most dangerous highway in the country!
How much do you want for that bike? (he is seen driving the motorcycle to catch Mordecai and Rigby, who are driving Benson's truck)
Regular Show · 562 quotes
