Guest Host Ricky Wilson
With regulars Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Colin Murray, Bez, Ryan Jarman, and Jeff Green
S1818x03
And tonight I am contractually obliged to say "I predict a laugh riot!"…I feel so dirty!
RJRyan Jarman
If there's any legal implications involved in this, then, like, I invented Live 8, you see. This is not actually a lie. We were in the recording studio recording our album. I found Bob Geldof's mobile phone number while we were in the recording studio so I sent him a text message just saying "Three words, mate - Live Aid 2". Lo and behold six months later Live 8 comes out. It's just nice to know that you've made a little bit of difference, that's all. It really is.
[to Ricky] Last time I saw you was at Heathrow Airport, wasn't it? And you were shitfaced. You came up to me and said "[slurring]" I'm Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs!
[drunkenly] I love you!
[drunkenly] Love you, Bill!
I thought you were Hulk Hogan.
Sorry Stevie [Wonder], if you're watching... (Ricky grimaces as he realises what he's just said)
S1818x06
Guest Host Huey Morgan
With regulars Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Reginald D Hunter, Sheila Ferguson Andy Rourke, and Natalie Cassidy
[During the Identity Parade, when all the guests were dressed in bird outfits]
BBill
BIRD FLU! [Everyone but Andy runs out of their seat and off the set. Andy covers his face with his arms]
[Later]
BBill
[On the subject of bird number 4] It doesn't look like any bird ... I don't understand ... it's a hybrid. It looks like some kind of -
NNatalie
It looks like Phill! Look at the belly of it! Go and stand next to it! [Phill stands next to the bird] Look!
BBill
[Into his microphone] If we are very quiet we can hear the mating calls - [Phill makes a noise while Bill continues] - of the Essex bird.
S1919x01
With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey, Phill Jupitus
With guests Alesha Dixon, Phil Nichol, Ricky Ross, and Anthea Turner
Hello there and welcome to the exciting new series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks. New set, new titles, new host. I guess what I'm trying to say is...welcome to the last series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks.
Lorraine from Deacon Blue has a recurring nightmare where the band are playing to a baying crowd without the correct instruments. I have a recurring nightmare that I'm stuck in the middle of a baying crowd watching Deacon Blue.
[Ricky Ross from Deacon Blue smiles]
Only joking, I've never heard of you.
[To Anthea]
With this new show, "Perfect Housewife", did they say to you, "Look, we'd love you to have your own show, you just need a skill". And you went away for five years and you said "I'm really good at tidying! I can fold! Towels! I can put a toothbrush in a cup!".
[To Ricky Ross]
Ricky, has anything like that ever happened to you in your career like that? Have you ever...thrown a lollipop at a famous star?
Waxed, buffed, full leather interior, slight smell of sick, some rear end damage. It's Girls Aloud!
[About Ricky Ross] Are you sure he's been in a band?
How would you know, you're twelve!
I don't really know anything pre McFly.
Who's your favourite McFly?
What day is today?
It's a Thursday.
Thursday's a Danny day!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.