Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 6
[A couple of henchmen burst into Lucille's apartment looking for Bart Fargo.]
We're looking for a man.
Are you him?
My word, so am I! Let me know if you find an extra one.
I think you know what I meant!
[Bart Fargo foils an assassination attempt by Scarface, who was disguised as a concierge.]
You know, Scarface, that was a very silly get-up. It didn't suit you. And your imitation of a waiter was very funny. "Your breakfast, señor..." You should have changed your voice too.
[Bart opens a balcony window and chuckles. Scarface lunges at Bart, but misses and dives out the window, screaming.]
Olé!
[Crow giggles.]
And the way you dove out the window was just terrible!
[Scarface lands on the pavement with a thump.]
Ooh, sorry, ma'am.
That's too bad.
Oh, come on! What about "he really fell for me"? Or "his hopes have been crushed"?
[Bart Fargo's car skids off the road, over a cliff, and into the sea; however, the effect is clearly achieved by someone simply rolling a toy car off a rock into the water.]
Hot Wheels!
Some little boy is going to be very upset.
[Bart Fargo repeatedly slaps an assassin in the face.]
My sister! My daughter! My sister! My daughter!
[A baccarat game is in progress.]
Mesdames et Messieurs, banque $10,000.
It'd better be a damn good bonk.
[After Bart Fargo's partner is gunned down, the movie's catchy, upbeat "Ba-pa-da-pa-da-da" theme music starts up again.]
This isn't appropriate right now, his friend is dying over there!
[beat]
But it's nice.
It is nice, yeah.
[Crow laughs.]
Bart Fargo IS... Hard to-- watch.
Bart Fargo. Bartfargobartfargobartfargobartfargo... Heh, that's hard!
[William looks at a Franklin half-dollar he's holding.]
Fifty cents. Half a dollar.
In those days, that'd buy you a car.
Benjamin Franklin, eh?
Bite me, Franklin!
He was supposed to be a pretty smart fellow when it came to money. I suppose he could've told me how to keep out of the red.
He was the best President we ever had. [N]
. . .
[Ben Franklin's silhouette appears in the mirror.]
Alfred Hitchcock! [N]
You receive two dollars every week as an allowance from your father…
…James Joyce.
…something quite unheard of in my day.
Fathers?
[Closing shot of Franklin's image on a half-dollar]
Benjamin Franklin was tried in the Eighth circuit court on stalking charges; in a minute, the results of that trial. [N]
Progress Island USA (short)
[The short opens with scenes quickly flashing on screen.]
Whoa, I'm having a freak-out up to ten years later!
An American Democracy...
Would be really great.
Year-round sun makes this island a vacation paradise.
And very hard to sleep!
Building into the clear-blue sky, the island is on the move.
Hawaii?
No, an island!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
