[William looks at a Franklin half-dollar he's holding.]
WWilliam
Fifty cents. Half a dollar.
In those days, that'd buy you a car.
WWilliam
Benjamin Franklin, eh?
CACrow [as William]
Bite me, Franklin!
WWilliam
He was supposed to be a pretty smart fellow when it came to money. I suppose he could've told me how to keep out of the red.
CACrow [as William]
He was the best President we ever had. [N]
. . .
[Ben Franklin's silhouette appears in the mirror.]
BFBen Franklin
You receive two dollars every week as an allowance from your father…
MAMike [as Franklin]
…James Joyce.
BFBen Franklin
…something quite unheard of in my day.
[Closing shot of Franklin's image on a half-dollar]
Benjamin Franklin was tried in the Eighth circuit court on stalking charges; in a minute, the results of that trial. [N]
Progress Island USA (short)
[The short opens with scenes quickly flashing on screen.]
Whoa, I'm having a freak-out up to ten years later!
SAServo [as Narrator]
Would be really great.
Year-round sun makes this island a vacation paradise.
Building into the clear-blue sky, the island is on the move.
[Shots of a school are shown.]
MAMike [as Narrator]
Bisexual students.
[The short's title is first mentioned by the narrator over the main theme.]
Oh. When did they change the name?
A Quinn Martin production.
MCMike, Crow, Servo
[as the music ends] PUERTO RICO!
A land the size of Rhode Island, it is just as American in its way of life.
CACrow [as Narrator]
So you might as well just stay where you are.
[Over a shot of a Burger King...]
[Over quick shots]
With this, and this, and that!
[Over a shot of cash being given to an anonymous hand]
Here, money is exchanged for coconuts.
[Students are shown at college.]
Latka Gravas goes to class.
CACrow [as Latka]
Thank you veddy much.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
