He rides that horse like he was glued to the saddle.
JAJoel [as the rider]
I ammmmmmmmm!
S4Junior Rodeo Daredevils (short)
[one of the kids walks off after being thrown off his horse]
[as boy, indignantly] Go ahead; strip me of my dignity at age four! What are you all looking at?!
[Billy Slater is handing out trophies and participation medals to the kids, momentarily shaking hands with one girl]
[as Billy Slater] I loved you in The Parent Trap, by the way.
S4The Killer Shrews (movie)
[one of the group walks further into the woods to go out on their own]
[in a sing-song tone] You're gonna die from shrew bites; you're gonna die from shrew bites! Shrew bites, shrew bites~!
S4Undersea Kingdom, Chapter 2 (short)
Joel, Crow and Servo: [singing to the opening credits theme] Hey, it's the Undersea Kingdom; for you and for me where the men are in dresses!
CCrow
[imitates Billy] Shut up, Diane!
[one faction of the Atlanteans charge through the canyon as their white head-dresses trail behind them]
Hey; it's Jim Henson's Birth of a Nation Babies!
[the Atlanteans charge down a hill as the short ends]
Oh; big hill, everybody!
[the screen abruptly flashes to a title card for the next episode]
Well, whaddaya know?
[the S.o.L. gang hold a parade based around the Undersea Kingdom short]
CCrow
[narrating as Allen Thick, as Tom Servo floats by as a parade float] And here's a perennial favorite: the lovable Tom Servo from TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000; he portrays Dr. Norton's submarine from-
-The Undersea Kingdom! Did you know it took 18 seamstresses working around the clock for three months to bring the plucky little bot to life?
[as the parade Grand Marshall] It is balloon!
And Tom is filled with over 15,000 cubic yards of hydrogen.
CCrow
I think you mean helium.
S4Indestructible Man (movie)
[as Lon Chaney] Man; I gotta take an indestructible whiz.
[later, over a scene of a police car] Officers, be on the lookout for donuts!
Joel, those donut jokes are starting to get old real fast.
[bitterly] Oh, pardon me, Tom "I gotta take an indestructible whiz" Servo...
CCrow
[as Lon Chaney] I may be indestructible, but I still hurt inside!
[Lt. Chasen explains to his new girlfriend, Eva, that he got her fired from her exotic dancer job, right before proposing to her.]
Oh, please. He should quit his job. Strippers make way more money than cops!
S4General Hospital, Installment 1 (short)
[as Steve Hardy explains what a hiatus hernia is to a patient] The body sees the hernia as a series of ones and zeroes.
S4Manhunt in Space (movie)
[Joel and the Bots riff over the opening credits, briefly addressing casting director Bill Tinsman]
[singing] Oz never did give nothing to Bill Tinsman, that he didn't already have.
CCrow
[of screenwriter Arthur Hoerl] I wanted to hoerl after I read the screenplay. [Servo makes fake retching noises]
[Rocky expresses concern for Vena after she hasn't contacted the Ranger team back, while Winky lounges back with a magazine]
WWinky
Vena's just still on her vacation; as for me, just let me relax with my little black book and the gay nightlife.
[briefly taken aback] Ah; insert joke here.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.