Mystery Science Theater 3000 · Season 3
[As the military prepares to destroy Gamera, little Kenny runs up to Dr. Murase and the General.]
Don't shoot Gamera! Don't shoot Gamera! He's good, he's good!
Let's listen to what Kenny has to say!
Yes. It might be a mistake. Maybe we shouldn't use those missiles.
Why not? It's the only way to kill that monster.
Because Kenny said so.
[A television newsman is reporting on Gamera-related natural disasters.]
There's going to be a special conference later this evening at the university, during which Dr. Hidaka will talk to high-ranking officers...
... and Kenny...
Gamera seems able to resist attacks by all offensive weapons known to us. Therefore, I am forced to admit there may be even greater catastrophes ahead.
More Gamera movies?
[Scene: the city of Oshima, where people are milling about.]
The city is off-limits to civilians. Not even the press is allowed to enter the area.
Kenny, however, is free to move about.
[After Servo finishes a song about Tibby the turtle]
Do you realize a robot just sang a love song to a turtle?
Hey Joel, uh... I looked up 'suspended animation' in the dictionary and I don't think that this is going to be any good at— [a spray of liquid nitrogen turns Crow frozen mid-sentence] —AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
See, I told you guys it would work.
[as Kenny uncovers a pile of rocks]
Oh, it's Tibby's burial mound.
[defensive] Shut up! It's not funny. [Scoffs]
[looking for his turtle] You there?
[beginning to get a little sad] Oh Tibby...
Tibby?
...or not Tibby.
It's not- Stop it! Shut up!
Tibby!
Tibby! Tibby! SQUISH! Aww, Tibby!
[getting more emotional] That's not funny! Joel, tell him to stop!
Tibby??? Tibby!
What are you worried about? Tibby's long dead, Tom.
[gets up and begins to walk away] I'm leaving! I ha- [sobbing] I can't take this, this is terrible!
Come on back, come on.
[returning to his seat] Will you stop with the jokes?
Yeah.
[as Gamera is lured to the missile, trapped in a large capsule, and launched into space]
Uhh...
Hey, Joel, remind you of anything?
[rips Crow's arm off and hits him with it] Yeah, it reminds me of this!
Ah! Hey! Cut it out.
[singing] In the not too distant future- [Joel hits Servo with the arm and throws it away]
Ha ha!
You could get sued for that kind of thing.
I'm gonna sue you for using that song.
[While playing back phone messages left by viewers.]
All you scary guys with the low I.Q.s, don't call any more because you're scaring Gypsy.
[During an establishing shot of a farm, a cow moos.]
Oh, bless you.
[Cuts to Grandpa Kanamura.]
[startled] Was he mooing?
[trying to get Eiichi's attention] Hey, Boy! Boy!
Crazy Boy!
[Gaos chows down on a hapless reporter.]
Welcome to this week's edition of Eat the Press.
[While opening credits roll with a background showing the ocean.]
The Ocean; the beginning of all life... and all Sandy Frank films.
[A supertanker has just exploded in flames.]
Oh my God, it's Gordon Lightfoot!
I think he's so wonderful, I love Gamera!
Keep your shirt on, honey.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
