Six-year-olds and nuclear weapons: a combination that just can't be beat.
S3Gamera vs. Guiron
[The movie credits show: © MCMLXIX DAIEI CO. LTD.]
[singing to the Nestlé's jingle] M-C-M-L-X-I-X / Daiei makes the very best
[singing] Movies -- NOT!
[From the SOL version of "The Gamera Song"…]
JCJoel, Crow, Servo
Gamera! / Gamera! / Gamera is really neat! / Gamera is filled with meat! / We've been eating Gamera!
[An establishing shot of Gaos]
Here comes old flattop...
[whispering] Don't! George Harrison will sue you!
Oops, sorry!
[The brain-eating space girls return after the boys fall unconscious from eating drugged donuts.]
JAJoel [as Space Girl]
Kids' brains always taste better when they've been thinking about donuts.
[Akio reaches up and finds his head has been shaved]
AAkio
Hey, what happened to my hair?
The space aliens did it, they're cannibals!
They ate my hair?
[this particular joke was improvised by Josh's Servo in the original KTMA episode]
[The crestfallen Tomoko has been reprimanded by her mother]
CACrow [as Tomoko]
I'll show her! I'm gonna grow up to break up The Beatles!
[At the spaceship landing site, reporters laugh at little sister Tomoko. She walks away, crestfallen.]
JAJoel [as Tomoko]
[in psychotic child voice] When the whip comes down, you will see who rules, you twisted old fruit!
[As Tom's mother drives away, Tomoko surprises her by hiding in the back seat]
JAJoel [as Tomoko/hijacker]
Shut up and keep driving!
[After he stands up for her, Tomoko tugs on Officer Kondo's sleeve.]
Kon-chan?
KOfficer Kondo
Heh? What?
JAJoel [as Tomoko]
[whispers] They will all die by Gamera's hand!
[As Gamera flies toward the crowd with the spaceship in his mouth, Tomoko jumps down into the landing site crater.]
JAJoel [as Tomoko]
I'm first! I wish to be the first to be crushed!
[after Gyaos's leg is cut off by his own beam attack]
He doesn't have a leg to stand on.
CCrow
That's a lame joke.
They can call him Ilene now.
He's hopping mad.
CCrow
Went out on a limb for that one.
Looks like it's trying to run away.
AAkio
I don't think so. It's trying to attack from behind.
Maybe the kids should help him. Give him a leg up.
[during a scene with very poor dubbing]
SDr. Shiga
There's no...
SAServo [as Dr. Shiga]
Business like... show business.
SDr. Shiga
... air or water on the moon... so no living thing inhabits it. As you know for sure.
Uh-huh.
SDr. Shiga
And...
JSJoel and Servo
Yeah? Uh-huh?
SDr. Shiga
... there are...
Go on.
We're waiting. Go on.
SDr. Shiga
... no rivers on Mars.
Oh.
CCrow
Yes.
SDr. Shiga
And on Venus...
Yeah?
SDr. Shiga
... it has several hundred degrees centigrade.
We're waiting.
It does.
SDr. Shiga
And...
Yes?
Go on?
SDr. Shiga
... the surface of... Jupiter is covered with...
[getting annoyed] SUM. UP.
SDr. Shiga
... frozen ammonia.
You got a little uh...
SDr. Shiga
Saturn... is also...
Mhmm?
SDr. Shiga
...the same.
Get on with it!
[singing along to the film's score] Let's watch the kids go to their fates / They'll disappear into the woods / It will be days before they're found / Cornjob will be blamed.
CCrow
[singing] Why must we sing this stupid song? / It's getting really a-nnoying / We apologize for its le-ength...
SCServo, Crow, and Joel
We are filled with shame.
Ta-da!
[singing] Now back to our show.
Sorry.
AAkio
[as he and Tom meet the two space-girls] Please tell me, what star are we on?
JAJoel [as Akio]
What's the drinking age?
[whispering] It's a planet.
How far are we from the Earth?
SGSpace Girl
We call this star, Terra...
[whispering] It's a planet!
SGSpace Girl
It's on the opposite side of the Earth where you are living. Exactly like the Earth with the sun between, same size and moving like the Earth.
AAkio
So you mean to tell us that it's like a twin star, then?
[getting annoyed] It's a PLANET.
I wondered if there was such a star.
It's a PLANET!!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.